While I'm in limbo deciding what will ultimately be the next direction my blog takes, I had a thought! (Red letter day! A thought entered my mind that had nothing whatsoever to do with audits or job hunts or new hires or irate customers or file maintenance...) As you may have guessed from the oh-so-subtle title of this post, that thought was to write about stuff that doesn't suck about not having kids. 'Cause I'm realizing that there's actually a lot of stuff I'm grateful for that I wouldn't be able to enjoy if this whole infertility thing didn't happen to me.
Because I am the Queen of Disclaimers, I have this to say before I begin: These posts may sometimes sound like generalizations, but in reality they're specific to me and my situation. Of course I hope I have some readers who'll go, "Oh!! I totally agree! I also think that's something that doesn't suck about being childless!" But I also expect to have some readers who'll go, "Okay, but I would give that up in half a heartbeat, no questions asked, if I could just have one opportunity to have a child." Or even some moms thinking, "Yeah, but being a mom is infinitely better than that, and I wouldn't trade it for a lifetime of that." I get it. I'm just sayin', please don't get offended. This is fair warning that I intend to remove some of my filters, and it might get a little blunt up in here.
Like today, for example, I'm gonna write about SEX. And I don't mean babymakin'.
Call me a whore (I really wasn't), but in my youth and heyday I was quite the adventurous sexual partner, and looking back I'd say I peaked when Hubs and I were dating the first time around. Our chemistry was spectacular from the start, and we were young and full of hormones and carefree energy. We (or maybe just I, Hubs never seems to be at a loss for interest in sex) have lost some of that over the years thanks to infertility, relationship issues, and work stress; i.e. life. But now that we're putting the thought of having kids on the back-burner indefinitely, we have the chance to work on bringing that spark back to the bedroom. And oh my goodness, it's fun.
Being infertile and not TTC means we now get to have sex for no other reason than to freakin' feel good! And not having kids means we get to be as free as we wanna be when we do the deed. If we feel like covering the living room floor with blankets and pillows and spending a Saturday afternoon rolling around in them, we get to do that. We don't have to worry about being walked in on or being caught by innocent eyes. We don't have to think twice, or even once, about being too loud, or walking around the house naked (with the blinds closed! I'm not an exhibitionist for crying out loud), or where we keep the adult toys - I mean, uhh... What??
Not having kids also means we have more time and energy to have sex. Kids require a lot of attention if I'm not mistaken, and from my experiences with my numerous nieces and nephews I've found that they also require a LOT of energy. Even after babysitting for a couple of hours I'm ready for a nap! I know that if I'd had a baby when we started TTC over three years ago, and if I now had a toddler (or two) to chase around after working a long day in the Seventh Circle of Hell, my energy would be completely sapped. I can't say how that would've affected my sex life, but knowing myself, I'm 100% sure it would not have enhanced it.
So yes, for the moment, I'm grateful that not having kids means I can go back to having great sex with the Hubs. It's the perfect situation for me right now - No need for birth control thanks to my bum repro tract, if I do happen to end up pregnant I'll be happy, and I have nothing preventing me from just enjoying myself to the max! I may not be the whore I used to be, but I'm starting to think (hope!) that maybe I didn't "peak" all those years ago after all.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
2.18.2011
The good stuff
Okay, so remember a couple of weeks ago when I said I have some news but I wasn't quite ready to share yet? Well I still don't feel like I can do it justice but I'm dying to tell you anyway, so here goes.
My friend A and I are starting a women's group! It's something she's been thinking about doing for months, and when she asked me to help I jumped at the chance. I find it difficult to explain the purpose of the group because technically speaking, there's no specific focus. We will talk about everything and anything that's important to us, with the intention of being open to learning new things and improving ourselves by hearing the different perspectives of other members. It'll also be a place for encouragement and support in setting and reaching personal goals. Our "slogan" is Girl talk, redirected, because it's definitely all about sharing and discussing, but without the griping, drama, or negativity that can sometimes arise when women get together to gab.
I hope that didn't sound too touchy-feely. Okay, the group is kind of touchy-feely, and even though I'm generally quite the opposite, I'm excited about it! It'll be good for my personal growth to be a part of it, and helping launch it with A somehow completely meets this need I had to DO SOMETHING. Preferably something useful. We had our first trial meeting last Friday and it went really well. There's a core group of 5 of us, and we're kind of slowly inviting others to join in as A and I feel our way through this process. We want it to be fun and enjoyable, but we do have some structure to keep things organized too. We have a blog (which I'm not quite ready to share with the world yet, but I'll eventually post a link), a Twitter account, and a FB page, which we're still working on as well.
So that's the BIG thing. And I welcome any questions you might have, I'm not sure how much detail you're interested in.
Other stuff that's going on - Well for one, Hubs and I are working on improving our marriage, getting the ol' spark back and generally making our home life more fulfilling. I'm pretty excited about focusing on us - something I actually have control over! I think it will make us both a lot happier. We've been talking more about my job options as well. We determined that we can afford for me to take a job that pays a little less than what I'm making now, but that's more in line with my interests and skills. So that opens things up quite a bit and makes me feel a little hopeful. Another option is taking a stress leave while I continue to search for another job. That's not something I really want to do, but work is getting worse and worse almost every day. It's just a matter of time before something gives, I just hope that something isn't my sanity.
Thank you for the well-wishes yesterday, I'm actually feeling a lot better on the YI front today. Thank God too, I was at the point where I wanted to tear out my lady business with my fingernails for a while there! My new boss has been off my back most of today, I just have to stay off her radar for another hour and I can go home for a nice long, relaxing weekend :)
My friend A and I are starting a women's group! It's something she's been thinking about doing for months, and when she asked me to help I jumped at the chance. I find it difficult to explain the purpose of the group because technically speaking, there's no specific focus. We will talk about everything and anything that's important to us, with the intention of being open to learning new things and improving ourselves by hearing the different perspectives of other members. It'll also be a place for encouragement and support in setting and reaching personal goals. Our "slogan" is Girl talk, redirected, because it's definitely all about sharing and discussing, but without the griping, drama, or negativity that can sometimes arise when women get together to gab.
I hope that didn't sound too touchy-feely. Okay, the group is kind of touchy-feely, and even though I'm generally quite the opposite, I'm excited about it! It'll be good for my personal growth to be a part of it, and helping launch it with A somehow completely meets this need I had to DO SOMETHING. Preferably something useful. We had our first trial meeting last Friday and it went really well. There's a core group of 5 of us, and we're kind of slowly inviting others to join in as A and I feel our way through this process. We want it to be fun and enjoyable, but we do have some structure to keep things organized too. We have a blog (which I'm not quite ready to share with the world yet, but I'll eventually post a link), a Twitter account, and a FB page, which we're still working on as well.
So that's the BIG thing. And I welcome any questions you might have, I'm not sure how much detail you're interested in.
Other stuff that's going on - Well for one, Hubs and I are working on improving our marriage, getting the ol' spark back and generally making our home life more fulfilling. I'm pretty excited about focusing on us - something I actually have control over! I think it will make us both a lot happier. We've been talking more about my job options as well. We determined that we can afford for me to take a job that pays a little less than what I'm making now, but that's more in line with my interests and skills. So that opens things up quite a bit and makes me feel a little hopeful. Another option is taking a stress leave while I continue to search for another job. That's not something I really want to do, but work is getting worse and worse almost every day. It's just a matter of time before something gives, I just hope that something isn't my sanity.
Thank you for the well-wishes yesterday, I'm actually feeling a lot better on the YI front today. Thank God too, I was at the point where I wanted to tear out my lady business with my fingernails for a while there! My new boss has been off my back most of today, I just have to stay off her radar for another hour and I can go home for a nice long, relaxing weekend :)
5.11.2010
So close I can almost taste it!
Happy Tuesday everyone!! Today is my "Friday," so I apologize if my overly-chipper mood is irritating to those of you who have to work. For what it's worth, I wish you a speedy, easy and pleasant week!
So far today has been going suspiciously smoothly, but it's still early. I anticipate all the crazy stuff to start going down about an hour or two before I leave for the day, causing me to have to stay late. I really hope I'm wrong because I want to try to leave a few minutes early. Fingers crossed, but I'm not holding my breath!
Tomorrow is the hubs' and my 3rd anniversary! (And I want to send a shout-out to my anniversary buddy Sherry, celebrating her 10th tomorrow! I believe tomorrow is also Steph's anniversary! Congrats to both of you and your hubbies, I'll definitely be toasting you tomorrow!) Hubs and I will be celebrating by going to see Ir.on M.an 2 at the new 21 and over movie theater. That's right, we can have booze in the theater, every 17 year old's dream! Haha. Afterwards we're going out to dinner at a location to be determined.
And then Thursday afternoon we're heading up to the Central Coast! (To answer Sweet Pea's question, the Central Coast is the coastal region of CA between the Los Angeles and San Francisco areas. And about right in the middle of the Central Coast is one of the 3 major wine-producing regions in the state. Of course, that's where we'll be!) On Thursday evening we'll probably hit up the big farmer's market in town, Friday we'll be wine tasting all day, and we'll head home on Saturday. Should be really fun!
On the TTC front - I did buy Circle+Bloom the other day and have done the first two sessions. I'm enjoying it so far; the sessions are only about 15 minutes long, and I'm surprised at how relaxed I get while listening to them. I think that with practice, and by giving myself a few extra minutes to unwind before starting, I can get to that really deep level of relaxation eventually. The guided visualization is very good, I like that they don't try to throw too much at you at once. I'm planning on taking my iPod with me to my acu appts so I can listen to my sessions while I'm there too. All that relaxation, I'll be leaving those appts feeling like Jell-o!
Now I'm off to try to find trouble before it finds me!
So far today has been going suspiciously smoothly, but it's still early. I anticipate all the crazy stuff to start going down about an hour or two before I leave for the day, causing me to have to stay late. I really hope I'm wrong because I want to try to leave a few minutes early. Fingers crossed, but I'm not holding my breath!
Tomorrow is the hubs' and my 3rd anniversary! (And I want to send a shout-out to my anniversary buddy Sherry, celebrating her 10th tomorrow! I believe tomorrow is also Steph's anniversary! Congrats to both of you and your hubbies, I'll definitely be toasting you tomorrow!) Hubs and I will be celebrating by going to see Ir.on M.an 2 at the new 21 and over movie theater. That's right, we can have booze in the theater, every 17 year old's dream! Haha. Afterwards we're going out to dinner at a location to be determined.
And then Thursday afternoon we're heading up to the Central Coast! (To answer Sweet Pea's question, the Central Coast is the coastal region of CA between the Los Angeles and San Francisco areas. And about right in the middle of the Central Coast is one of the 3 major wine-producing regions in the state. Of course, that's where we'll be!) On Thursday evening we'll probably hit up the big farmer's market in town, Friday we'll be wine tasting all day, and we'll head home on Saturday. Should be really fun!
On the TTC front - I did buy Circle+Bloom the other day and have done the first two sessions. I'm enjoying it so far; the sessions are only about 15 minutes long, and I'm surprised at how relaxed I get while listening to them. I think that with practice, and by giving myself a few extra minutes to unwind before starting, I can get to that really deep level of relaxation eventually. The guided visualization is very good, I like that they don't try to throw too much at you at once. I'm planning on taking my iPod with me to my acu appts so I can listen to my sessions while I'm there too. All that relaxation, I'll be leaving those appts feeling like Jell-o!
Now I'm off to try to find trouble before it finds me!
1.27.2010
The first first date
Yesterday (or possibly last Tuesday) was the 7th anniversary of hubs' and my first first date! We never celebrate it so we can never remember what day it's on, and actually it didn't even occur to either of us until I thought about it today.
So in honor of this occasion, I give you Our Story (and by default also the explanation behind "first first date").
Aaron and I have technically known each other since I was 5 and he was 6. We went to the same elementary, middle and high schools, and furthermore our younger brothers were BFFs in elementary school. But did we ever speak to each other, even one time, in those 13 years? NOPE. That was fine by me because I thought he was a punk, and he thought I was weird. Well, turns out we were both right, but that's neither here nor there. ;)
One fine evening when I was 22 years old I was out with some friends (at a bar, naturally) and in walks Aaron, his right arm in a cast. Just the way I remembered him from school! That kid had more broken bones than anyone I know, and the one he walked into the bar with was the 5th for that arm. He pointed at me from the doorway and said, "I know you!" Yep, that was his sexy pickup line, and I was hooked. He couldn't remember my name, but he knew who I was and he was hot, so that was enough for me! We went on our first first date one week later - a movie and drinks. ...And some making out. Yeah, I know I'm classy.
Although neither of us was looking for a relationship we found one anyway. Unfortunately, Aaron wasn't quite over the damage his long-term ex GF left him with and after a year of dating we broke up. He still wanted to see me "casually" and I said NO WAY. I considered us over and I moved on, dated someone else for a while, and never looked back.
At least, not until the day we ran into each other in a department store almost a year later. I remember immediately breaking into a cold sweat and thinking, "Damn, he's still cute!" We chatted awkwardly about who knows what for a few minutes and then parted ways. I was still dating the other guy at the time, though things were beginning to get rocky.
Then Aaron started sending me emails from time to time. Nothing much, usually just funny jokes and pictures. We worked up to exchanging short notes every couple of weeks or so. Then he asked me out to lunch, as "friends." Little did I know he was getting advice from a female friend on how to win me back! So I agreed, thinking it was harmless, and we went out to lunch a couple times. The second time being just days after breaking up with the other guy. As soon as I told him the other guy was out of the picture, Aaron jumped at the chance and asked if he could see me again. Our second first date was on May 23rd, 2005. He took me to a Dodger game, and we got on the JumboTron!
And we now have a total of three aniversaries: The first first date, the second first date, and the wedding. So in case we forget one or two, we always have a backup any given year ;)
So in honor of this occasion, I give you Our Story (and by default also the explanation behind "first first date").
Aaron and I have technically known each other since I was 5 and he was 6. We went to the same elementary, middle and high schools, and furthermore our younger brothers were BFFs in elementary school. But did we ever speak to each other, even one time, in those 13 years? NOPE. That was fine by me because I thought he was a punk, and he thought I was weird. Well, turns out we were both right, but that's neither here nor there. ;)
One fine evening when I was 22 years old I was out with some friends (at a bar, naturally) and in walks Aaron, his right arm in a cast. Just the way I remembered him from school! That kid had more broken bones than anyone I know, and the one he walked into the bar with was the 5th for that arm. He pointed at me from the doorway and said, "I know you!" Yep, that was his sexy pickup line, and I was hooked. He couldn't remember my name, but he knew who I was and he was hot, so that was enough for me! We went on our first first date one week later - a movie and drinks. ...And some making out. Yeah, I know I'm classy.
Although neither of us was looking for a relationship we found one anyway. Unfortunately, Aaron wasn't quite over the damage his long-term ex GF left him with and after a year of dating we broke up. He still wanted to see me "casually" and I said NO WAY. I considered us over and I moved on, dated someone else for a while, and never looked back.
At least, not until the day we ran into each other in a department store almost a year later. I remember immediately breaking into a cold sweat and thinking, "Damn, he's still cute!" We chatted awkwardly about who knows what for a few minutes and then parted ways. I was still dating the other guy at the time, though things were beginning to get rocky.
Then Aaron started sending me emails from time to time. Nothing much, usually just funny jokes and pictures. We worked up to exchanging short notes every couple of weeks or so. Then he asked me out to lunch, as "friends." Little did I know he was getting advice from a female friend on how to win me back! So I agreed, thinking it was harmless, and we went out to lunch a couple times. The second time being just days after breaking up with the other guy. As soon as I told him the other guy was out of the picture, Aaron jumped at the chance and asked if he could see me again. Our second first date was on May 23rd, 2005. He took me to a Dodger game, and we got on the JumboTron!
And we now have a total of three aniversaries: The first first date, the second first date, and the wedding. So in case we forget one or two, we always have a backup any given year ;)
10.15.2009
Muse-ings
I've discovered that I love Mu.se. I've been listening to the Bla.ck Hol.es and Reve.lat.ions album for weeks now, and it is sooo cathartic to just blast it whenever I'm in a crummy mood. Not only do they just absolutely freakin' ROCK, but their lyrics are surprisingly poignant, too (and let's face it, I love singing along!). Hubs got me a subwoofer for my car before we went on vacation - - okay, scratch that - - he actually got it for HIM, because his truck has one and he didn't think he could handle two weeks in a car with only average sound quality. But I have to say, I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Maybe it's not very feminine or classy to "bump" my bass in traffic... but it's really fun!
At least a couple times a week I get one of their songs stuck in my head all day long. And usually it's Invi.ncible, because the lyrics are so striking to me (and it freakin' ROCKS). It reminds me of hubs, and how I often feel like it's him and me against the world. And I don't mean that in a "the world is the enemy" kind of way. Just that we have become so united in the past couple of years. It's more than the fact that we love each other, or that we're partners or a team. At least for me, it's more like he makes me a stronger person just by being with me, and that as long as we're together I know we can get through anything. That song reminds me of how lucky and thankful I am to have wound up with him as my husband.
**Ahem!** Okay. Done with the mushy stuff now. I know I said I'm not romantic on that survey the other day, and I totally just blew my street cred. The fact of the matter is, I love to rock out to Mu.se, and I love to love my hubs! And that's all I have to say about that.
At least a couple times a week I get one of their songs stuck in my head all day long. And usually it's Invi.ncible, because the lyrics are so striking to me (and it freakin' ROCKS). It reminds me of hubs, and how I often feel like it's him and me against the world. And I don't mean that in a "the world is the enemy" kind of way. Just that we have become so united in the past couple of years. It's more than the fact that we love each other, or that we're partners or a team. At least for me, it's more like he makes me a stronger person just by being with me, and that as long as we're together I know we can get through anything. That song reminds me of how lucky and thankful I am to have wound up with him as my husband.
**Ahem!** Okay. Done with the mushy stuff now. I know I said I'm not romantic on that survey the other day, and I totally just blew my street cred. The fact of the matter is, I love to rock out to Mu.se, and I love to love my hubs! And that's all I have to say about that.
10.08.2009
Mrs. Moody
I don't know what was wrong with me last night, but I was in a terrible mood.
Wait - scratch that. I do know what was wrong.
In the spirit of education, I wandered over to the Endo Support board on WMD and found a post linking to a website called The An.gry Uter.us. If you've never seen it, pretty much it's exactly what it sounds like. It's about endo, and it sounds like it's written by a person who's really angry about it. I'm sure some/a lot/most? of the information on there might be true, but it REALLY freaked me out. It got me thinking that if I have it a LAP it won't help me get pregnant. That I have to immediately cut out all wheat, dairy, red meat and sugar from my diet. And that I need to spend a crapload of money and travel to the ends of the earth to find an endo excision specialist because a regular gyn surgeon just isn't going to cut it (pardon the pun).
Luckily, hubs talked me off of my ledge enough that I decided to modify my googling to just "pregnancy success rates after lap." Much less scary! I found a very lovely medical site with a handy-dandy Q/A-with-the-doctor page. Said doctor quoted the pg success rates after a lap to be between 40 and 65% depending on the severity of the endo, given that all lesions that can be removed are. As far as the diet goes, I am starting to re-evaluate my eating habits, and am making better decisions already. I figure I'll ask my doctor about it and then decide whether I need to follow it implicitly.
I felt better after finding that Q/A page, but I guess that freak-out just ruined my day. I went home in a foul mood, with a tense neck, and for some reason a scratchy throat. Hubs called when he left work and I snapped at him. Then I rolled up a towel under my neck and laid on the floor until he came home, and when he did, he brought roses! Seriously, there's no way I deserve this guy. He then proceeded to take care of me, got me some EmergenC and echinacea in case I was getting sick, and a Xan.ax to help calm me down. And then we watched the Dodgers-Cardinals game together (and the Dodgers kicked butt!). After that I slept like a log.
Let that be a lesson to me - no more researching medical conditions online when I'm at work. (Haha, yeah right. We'll see how long that lasts.)
It's Friday Eve! Anyone else have a three-day weekend?
Wait - scratch that. I do know what was wrong.
In the spirit of education, I wandered over to the Endo Support board on WMD and found a post linking to a website called The An.gry Uter.us. If you've never seen it, pretty much it's exactly what it sounds like. It's about endo, and it sounds like it's written by a person who's really angry about it. I'm sure some/a lot/most? of the information on there might be true, but it REALLY freaked me out. It got me thinking that if I have it a LAP it won't help me get pregnant. That I have to immediately cut out all wheat, dairy, red meat and sugar from my diet. And that I need to spend a crapload of money and travel to the ends of the earth to find an endo excision specialist because a regular gyn surgeon just isn't going to cut it (pardon the pun).
Luckily, hubs talked me off of my ledge enough that I decided to modify my googling to just "pregnancy success rates after lap." Much less scary! I found a very lovely medical site with a handy-dandy Q/A-with-the-doctor page. Said doctor quoted the pg success rates after a lap to be between 40 and 65% depending on the severity of the endo, given that all lesions that can be removed are. As far as the diet goes, I am starting to re-evaluate my eating habits, and am making better decisions already. I figure I'll ask my doctor about it and then decide whether I need to follow it implicitly.
I felt better after finding that Q/A page, but I guess that freak-out just ruined my day. I went home in a foul mood, with a tense neck, and for some reason a scratchy throat. Hubs called when he left work and I snapped at him. Then I rolled up a towel under my neck and laid on the floor until he came home, and when he did, he brought roses! Seriously, there's no way I deserve this guy. He then proceeded to take care of me, got me some EmergenC and echinacea in case I was getting sick, and a Xan.ax to help calm me down. And then we watched the Dodgers-Cardinals game together (and the Dodgers kicked butt!). After that I slept like a log.
Let that be a lesson to me - no more researching medical conditions online when I'm at work. (Haha, yeah right. We'll see how long that lasts.)
It's Friday Eve! Anyone else have a three-day weekend?
6.19.2009
Quote about marriage
I get this weekly marriage email and there was a quote in this week's that I liked:
“The growth of love is not a straight line, but a series of hills and valleys. I suspect that in every good marriage there are times when love seems to be over. Sometimes these desert lines are simply the only way to the next oasis, which is far more lush and beautiful after the desert crossing than it could possibly have been without it.”
I think a lot of women tend to have an idealized vision of what marriage is supposed to be like, and then end up feeling bewildered when they realize it's not all hearts and kisses.
I know a couple of young women who are having a hard time in their marriages right now, to the point where they have seriously considered leaving. Not because they don't love their husbands but because being married wasn't what they thought it would be, for one reason or another. Throw in a good quarter-life crisis and it's a recipe for disaster. It breaks my heart when couples have marital problems. I just wish I could hand over to them what minute wisdom and patience I've learned over the past few years.
Anyway, not to get too heavy on a Friday! I'm just grateful that so far hubs and I have been able to work through what hard times we've gone through (TTC included) because now we're stronger, more in love, and happier than ever. :)
“The growth of love is not a straight line, but a series of hills and valleys. I suspect that in every good marriage there are times when love seems to be over. Sometimes these desert lines are simply the only way to the next oasis, which is far more lush and beautiful after the desert crossing than it could possibly have been without it.”
I think a lot of women tend to have an idealized vision of what marriage is supposed to be like, and then end up feeling bewildered when they realize it's not all hearts and kisses.
I know a couple of young women who are having a hard time in their marriages right now, to the point where they have seriously considered leaving. Not because they don't love their husbands but because being married wasn't what they thought it would be, for one reason or another. Throw in a good quarter-life crisis and it's a recipe for disaster. It breaks my heart when couples have marital problems. I just wish I could hand over to them what minute wisdom and patience I've learned over the past few years.
Anyway, not to get too heavy on a Friday! I'm just grateful that so far hubs and I have been able to work through what hard times we've gone through (TTC included) because now we're stronger, more in love, and happier than ever. :)
5.04.2009
Weekend update freestyle
My brain is not very organized today, so this may be kinda disjointed. And long. :)
It was a pretty eventful weekend. I left work on Friday with a sinus headache, really feeling like I was getting sick, so I made a beeline to the grocery store and loaded up on vitamins. I ended up staying home instead of going out with hubs and everyone to see a local band play at our local concert venue. I downed echinacea and Emer.genC like they were going out of style, and watched Slumdog Millionaire (not bad, not particularly wonderful) by myself. I was SUPER bummed when hubs got home because he was going on and on about how great the concert was, the music was awesome, everyone loved them, they sold out the venue (1500 people!) etc. DANGIT! I am always missing out on the really cool stuff!
Saturday morning I wasn't feeling much better, so I kept downing my vitamins. Hubs got his motorcycle running (needed a new battery) and we cruised downtown for lunch. It was great, we haven't gotten to ride the motorcycle in a while, and now that we have it really feels like spring! After that I kept feeling better and better. I guess the vitamins worked!
Later that night I went out on the town with my SIL and her younger twin sisters for their 23rd birthday (I was good though!) while hubs went to another concert with his friends. The last place we ended up was this karaoke bar, and I saw the most HILARIOUS rendition of Like a Prayer. These two little girls (I say little because they were both petite and very thin, and looked all of 21 years old) couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, but they were dancing along with the music all over the stage. They were dressed pretty conservatively, but they were dancing like, well, like Madonna. It was so funny and the crowd loved them of course!
Sunday was Dodgers vs Padres and it was awesome. The family of a good friend of mine has these fantastic season seats - field level, behind home plate just on the third base side. So we got a set of tickets and went to the game with another couple. Dodgers won 7-3, making it a clean sweep of the Padres and they are undefeated at home this season! Woohoo!
So I am in a pretty good mood for a Monday, even though the day is already slow and dragging.
As for TTC, I'm not holding out much hope for this C. Hubs and I only BDed a few times around O time, and I stopped OPKing after I got that dang YI, so I really don't even know when I Oed. I'm expecting AF this weekend sometime, but hopefully I'll start a day or two late because hubs has been planning an anniversary getaway (all by himself!), as a surprise for me! I'm still not 100% sure what he has up his sleeve, but I have an idea of where we're going, which gives me other ideas of what we'll be doing there... but I can't be sure! I'm trying not to ruin the surprise by badgering him; if I do he'll eventually break down and tell me, I'm notorious for that!
In other TTC news, I have been doing a lot of thinking. Lately I have felt "okay" with not having children. I don't know if I'm just talking myself into it though, you know? Like maybe I'm getting so pessimistic about it that I'm starting to really believe it'll never happen, and planning my life accordingly. But in a positive light, I've been a lot more appreciative of what hubs and I have in each other, our situation, all the things we're able to do, etc. Maybe I'm getting way ahead of myself, but I'm starting to consider a child-free life if we're unable to conceive. We're still going to try for a few more years (if necessary), so nothing is decided of course. Just spilling out the stuff that's going through my head... Does everyone else think that far ahead?
It was a pretty eventful weekend. I left work on Friday with a sinus headache, really feeling like I was getting sick, so I made a beeline to the grocery store and loaded up on vitamins. I ended up staying home instead of going out with hubs and everyone to see a local band play at our local concert venue. I downed echinacea and Emer.genC like they were going out of style, and watched Slumdog Millionaire (not bad, not particularly wonderful) by myself. I was SUPER bummed when hubs got home because he was going on and on about how great the concert was, the music was awesome, everyone loved them, they sold out the venue (1500 people!) etc. DANGIT! I am always missing out on the really cool stuff!
Saturday morning I wasn't feeling much better, so I kept downing my vitamins. Hubs got his motorcycle running (needed a new battery) and we cruised downtown for lunch. It was great, we haven't gotten to ride the motorcycle in a while, and now that we have it really feels like spring! After that I kept feeling better and better. I guess the vitamins worked!
Later that night I went out on the town with my SIL and her younger twin sisters for their 23rd birthday (I was good though!) while hubs went to another concert with his friends. The last place we ended up was this karaoke bar, and I saw the most HILARIOUS rendition of Like a Prayer. These two little girls (I say little because they were both petite and very thin, and looked all of 21 years old) couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, but they were dancing along with the music all over the stage. They were dressed pretty conservatively, but they were dancing like, well, like Madonna. It was so funny and the crowd loved them of course!
Sunday was Dodgers vs Padres and it was awesome. The family of a good friend of mine has these fantastic season seats - field level, behind home plate just on the third base side. So we got a set of tickets and went to the game with another couple. Dodgers won 7-3, making it a clean sweep of the Padres and they are undefeated at home this season! Woohoo!
So I am in a pretty good mood for a Monday, even though the day is already slow and dragging.
As for TTC, I'm not holding out much hope for this C. Hubs and I only BDed a few times around O time, and I stopped OPKing after I got that dang YI, so I really don't even know when I Oed. I'm expecting AF this weekend sometime, but hopefully I'll start a day or two late because hubs has been planning an anniversary getaway (all by himself!), as a surprise for me! I'm still not 100% sure what he has up his sleeve, but I have an idea of where we're going, which gives me other ideas of what we'll be doing there... but I can't be sure! I'm trying not to ruin the surprise by badgering him; if I do he'll eventually break down and tell me, I'm notorious for that!
In other TTC news, I have been doing a lot of thinking. Lately I have felt "okay" with not having children. I don't know if I'm just talking myself into it though, you know? Like maybe I'm getting so pessimistic about it that I'm starting to really believe it'll never happen, and planning my life accordingly. But in a positive light, I've been a lot more appreciative of what hubs and I have in each other, our situation, all the things we're able to do, etc. Maybe I'm getting way ahead of myself, but I'm starting to consider a child-free life if we're unable to conceive. We're still going to try for a few more years (if necessary), so nothing is decided of course. Just spilling out the stuff that's going through my head... Does everyone else think that far ahead?
3.30.2009
HSG and more waiting
Sorry sorry, I know I haven't posted an update on my HSG adventure. I started to the other day but then hubs came home and wanted my attention. So here it is!
The HSG itself wasn't too awful. It basically felt like cramps, and kind of icky, and I almost passed out afterwards, but it wasn't the worst thing that I've ever been through. However, right before we left the house for the appointment, DH decided to tell me that his friend called that day to let him know his wife is pregnant. It started a huge fight that didn't really end until after the HSG. No fun. But it gave me the opportunity to show the hubs that brochure "What Infertility Feels Like" (thanks Katie). I always assumed he just automatically understood my crazy emotions, but I realized that's unfair. He liked the brochure and gets me more now. I think this journey, although it is really hard and sometimes pushes us apart, overall is bringing the hubs and I closer together.
I don't have the results of my test yet. The nurse told me I could try to ask afterwards but that they usually don't say and I'd probably have to wait to hear from my doctor. To be honest I was just trying to imagine I was somewhere else the whole time so I completely forgot to even ask. My doctor's office said they usually get results in 3 to 5 days and would call me when they have them. So hopefully it's more liek 3 days and I'll know very soon. Otherwise you better believe I'll be calling them!
I think I'll be Oing in the next few days so the marathon has begun. This will be the first "for real" 2WW I've had in a couple months and already I feel my hopes getting up... Yeah, and I call myself a pessimist. I'm so ashamed!! ;)
Oh! We used our fire pit for the first time on Saturday night! It's so pretty, but still not totally done. Some of the capstone bricks aren't sticking to the cinder block base, so we have to epoxy them on, then still have to do a little border of pavers around the outside of the base. I think this is what home ownership is all about though - dozens of little almost-complete projects...
The HSG itself wasn't too awful. It basically felt like cramps, and kind of icky, and I almost passed out afterwards, but it wasn't the worst thing that I've ever been through. However, right before we left the house for the appointment, DH decided to tell me that his friend called that day to let him know his wife is pregnant. It started a huge fight that didn't really end until after the HSG. No fun. But it gave me the opportunity to show the hubs that brochure "What Infertility Feels Like" (thanks Katie). I always assumed he just automatically understood my crazy emotions, but I realized that's unfair. He liked the brochure and gets me more now. I think this journey, although it is really hard and sometimes pushes us apart, overall is bringing the hubs and I closer together.
I don't have the results of my test yet. The nurse told me I could try to ask afterwards but that they usually don't say and I'd probably have to wait to hear from my doctor. To be honest I was just trying to imagine I was somewhere else the whole time so I completely forgot to even ask. My doctor's office said they usually get results in 3 to 5 days and would call me when they have them. So hopefully it's more liek 3 days and I'll know very soon. Otherwise you better believe I'll be calling them!
I think I'll be Oing in the next few days so the marathon has begun. This will be the first "for real" 2WW I've had in a couple months and already I feel my hopes getting up... Yeah, and I call myself a pessimist. I'm so ashamed!! ;)
Oh! We used our fire pit for the first time on Saturday night! It's so pretty, but still not totally done. Some of the capstone bricks aren't sticking to the cinder block base, so we have to epoxy them on, then still have to do a little border of pavers around the outside of the base. I think this is what home ownership is all about though - dozens of little almost-complete projects...
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