31

Yesterday was my 31st birthday, and lemme tell ya, it was infinitely better than my 30th.  Pardon me while I regale you with far too many details and with way too much enthusiasm! 

The party was so freakin' much fun, I don't even know where to begin.  I don't know if they ever read my blog, but I'm thinking the appropriate place to start is by thanking L (my SIL, whose idea it was to have the party, and who took the reins in organizing the whole thing) and A (my BFF, who was L's right-hand woman in planning and executing the festivities): I love you both, I couldn't hope for better friends!

As usual, I sucked at documenting any part of the setup or celebration itself with photographic evidence.  My mom was taking pictures during the party, so maybe some day I'll get my hands on those images, but for now all I have is this:

If you're wondering whether that's a homemade tiramisu cupcake, let me assure you that it is.  And it was even more delicious than it looks.  I didn't get photos of the other cupcake varieties that A, my mom, my niece S, and I made on Saturday afternoon, but they were:

Chocolate Stout

Strawberry Shortcake

Margarita (complete with sugared rim)

Lemon with Blueberry Compote

It was a lot of work for 3 dozen cupcakes, even with 4 people, but well worth the effort!  They were super fancy-lookin' and tasty, and a HUGE hit at the party. 

The decor was even better than I imagined.  We strung market lights over the patio and barbecue area, and under them were three cocktail tables with black and teal linens, each topped with candles and fuschia orchids.  More candles dotted each of the three decks that climb the embankment above the patio, with seating areas and hors d'oeuvres stations on the two decks that have ocean views.

Speaking of food, my family kicked ass pulling together several yummy dishes!  A made red pepper hummus and olive tapenade, L made brie en croute and fruit skewers, Hubs made mini teriyaki drumsticks, my mom made bbq meatballs, and my MIL made mini pigs-in-a-blanket. 

And of course you can't have a cocktail party without cocktails!  My dad provided the beer, wine, and sodas, and my sister D rocked it with two superb martinis: "Absolut Sexy Lemonade Punch" and the "Kitini" (my invention, ingredients below). 

The best part of course, were the guests!  Everyone had a great time, and I even got to see a family friend that I haven't talked to in ages.  (She was in rare form!)  It was nothing short of an amazing night. 

The Kitini (AKA: Knock You on Your Ass Frou-Frou Delight)

2 parts vodka

1 part orange vodka

2 parts cranberry juice cocktail

1 part Kiwi-Strawberry flavored Juicy Juice

A few good squeezes of fresh lime or lime juice

Shake with crushed ice, strain, and serve

Recommendation: Garnish with a small slice of watermelon or half a strawberry

One day I will write you a real post.  One with meaning and depth.  And it will be beautiful and glorious, and you will be a better person for having read it. 

Today, unfortunately, is not that day.  Today you get bullet points.

• Did you know it's possible to throw your back out simply by waking up?  It's true!  And I'm living proof.  Early Monday morning I opened my sleepy eyes, went to roll over, and WHAM!  Instant excruciating pain.  I yelled.  A lot.  (I'm sure Hubs was super appreciative for that wake up call.)  It took both Hubs and me around 30 minutes just to figure out how to get me out of bed without making things worse.  Luckily he was able to call in sick and took me to the doctor.  I spent the next two days in a pain killer-induced fog, napping on the couch and vaguely listening to episode after episode of the old X-Men cartoon playing on TV.  I'm feeling somewhat better now, and I'm planning on a nice long visit to the masseuse this weekend.
• I have mastered the growing of vegetables!  Okay that might be a stretch, but I have been successful in growing some vegetables.  I have a GIANT zucchini plant with 2 almost-fully-grown zucchinis on it, and I have baby tomatoes on both of my tomato vines too.  Which leads me to a question:  How do you know when a zucchini is ready to be picked?  To me they look just like the ones in the grocery store right now.  Should I pick them now?  Or will they keep getting bigger or what?  (See, I am not quite to "master" status just yet.)
• Flowers on zucchini plants are GORGEOUS!
• Work still sucks and so does the job market.
• I'm very excited about Fourth of July this year because I'm taking a four-day weekend.  Yes, most of my excitement lately revolves around me not having to be at work.  Even having a totally jacked-up back was better than being at work.  But I digest.  That weekend my friend A and I are taking a two-hour drive to talk to her sister about starting a second chapter of our women's group.  Can you believe it?  I'm amazed we already have interest in chapters, and not just the one.  There's at least one other person interested in starting a chapter in her city too!  I shouldn't really be surprised, it's a great group and it's done wonders for my outlook on life.  Of course other people would want to be involved too!
• Three weeks after that long weekend I'm taking my requisite 2 week vacation.  Ahhh... Even though it's forced on me every year, and even though it's a huge pain trying to divvy up the rest of my meager vacation allotment throughout the rest of the year, it's really nice to have 2 weeks away from work.  This year my vacay kicks off with...drumroll please...MY BIRTHDAY!  With any luck, my birthday this year will be infinitely better than the last (ya know, with that whole miscarriage thing).  So far so good.  I am already off the hook for planning my own celebration; my awesome SIL L and my amazing friend A are doing it for me!  I love them!  It's going to be a small cocktail party in my parents' backyard, something I've always wanted to do because my parents have a beautiful backyard that's just begging to be used for a cocktail party.  I can't wait.  After that I'll be spending some time puttering around the house, followed by a week camping at the beach.  Pleeeeease hurry up and get here, vacation time!!

That's all I've got for now.  Holy good gravy this day is dragging.  Times like this I wish I lived on the East Coast!

Emotional blabbering

I'm feeling a little emotional today, thanks to the impending arrival of my least favorite aunt.

Last night my family all got together for my mom's birthday and it was a really nice time.  Towards the end of the evening my sister, who is 41 and has 4 children and who I strongly suspect laments the fact that she won't be having any more, starts getting starry-eyed looking at my brother's 6 month old daughter.  Then, as she sometimes does, she began waxing nostalgic about her pregnancies and deliveries and how much weight she gained (a lot).  Sigh.  I'm not proud to tell you that at that point I turned to Hubs, smiled and said so everyone could hear, "I didn't gain any weight during my pregnancy."  Blessedly, my mom and dad laughed and no one seemed offended, but really?  Did I need to say that?  Sure my sister didn't say a single word to me about my miscarriage when it happened or ever after, but that was months ago and I've let it go (uhhh, mostly).  The point is, this is my family and I very much feel like I'm missing out on a huge part of being a happy family because I can't have kids, and no one understands that feeling but me and Hubs.

I know, I know: every family has their issues, and probably a good 50% of society feels like the black sheep of the family.  In fact, I'm 99.9% sure that my three siblings all feel like the black sheep of our family too.  So what the hell am I bitching about?

I guess I'm just trying to muddle through this reality of mine.  A few months ago I wondered when I would accept the fact that I probably won't ever get pregnant and have a baby the old-fashioned way, if at all.  Now I'm almost there.  Or maybe I am there, but it still hurts.  (And it hurts extra when my hormones are a-raging somewhere around day 28 of my cycle.) 

Back in August, in the midst of the shit-storm aftermath of my miscarriage, I had an opportunity to sit down and talk with the mother of my oldest friend in the world - we've literally known each other since we were babies.  My friend had told her mom about my miscarriage, so while I was at her home having her alter one of my bridesmaid dresses, she asked if I had a minute to talk.  As a new bride, 30-something years ago, she'd also discovered she was infertile.  In fact, she had endometriosis so bad that she had to have a hysterectomy at age 25, having never been pregnant.  Eight years after marrying, she and her husband adopted my friend and enjoyed a very happy life.  Then about five years ago her husband got sick.  It took several months to discover he had ALS (Lou Gherig's disease) and a couple years later this once healthy, vibrant man passed away.  After talking about all this, my friend's mom asked me very evenly, "Did you ever think life was going to turn out like this?"

Nope, I never for a single minute expected my life to turn out the way it has, in almost every way.  I suspect that's the case for many, many people.  But I'm learning to accept the disappointments and be extra grateful for the lucky surprises.  Sometimes I guess I just need to remind myself of that.

The good stuff

Okay, so remember a couple of weeks ago when I said I have some news but I wasn't quite ready to share yet? Well I still don't feel like I can do it justice but I'm dying to tell you anyway, so here goes.

My friend A and I are starting a women's group! It's something she's been thinking about doing for months, and when she asked me to help I jumped at the chance. I find it difficult to explain the purpose of the group because technically speaking, there's no specific focus. We will talk about everything and anything that's important to us, with the intention of being open to learning new things and improving ourselves by hearing the different perspectives of other members. It'll also be a place for encouragement and support in setting and reaching personal goals. Our "slogan" is Girl talk, redirected, because it's definitely all about sharing and discussing, but without the griping, drama, or negativity that can sometimes arise when women get together to gab.

I hope that didn't sound too touchy-feely. Okay, the group is kind of touchy-feely, and even though I'm generally quite the opposite, I'm excited about it! It'll be good for my personal growth to be a part of it, and helping launch it with A somehow completely meets this need I had to DO SOMETHING. Preferably something useful. We had our first trial meeting last Friday and it went really well. There's a core group of 5 of us, and we're kind of slowly inviting others to join in as A and I feel our way through this process. We want it to be fun and enjoyable, but we do have some structure to keep things organized too. We have a blog (which I'm not quite ready to share with the world yet, but I'll eventually post a link), a Twitter account, and a FB page, which we're still working on as well.

So that's the BIG thing.  And I welcome any questions you might have, I'm not sure how much detail you're interested in.

Other stuff that's going on - Well for one, Hubs and I are working on improving our marriage, getting the ol' spark back and generally making our home life more fulfilling. I'm pretty excited about focusing on us - something I actually have control over! I think it will make us both a lot happier. We've been talking more about my job options as well. We determined that we can afford for me to take a job that pays a little less than what I'm making now, but that's more in line with my interests and skills. So that opens things up quite a bit and makes me feel a little hopeful. Another option is taking a stress leave while I continue to search for another job. That's not something I really want to do, but work is getting worse and worse almost every day. It's just a matter of time before something gives, I just hope that something isn't my sanity.

Thank you for the well-wishes yesterday, I'm actually feeling a lot better on the YI front today. Thank God too, I was at the point where I wanted to tear out my lady business with my fingernails for a while there! My new boss has been off my back most of today, I just have to stay off her radar for another hour and I can go home for a nice long, relaxing weekend :)

Hanging in there

Well hello there folks!

Sorry my presence in blogland has greatly diminished.  To be honest, it's been nice not thinking about TTC and when I'm here I think about it.  And that makes me sad.  And I can't always come up with brilliant and hilarious posts that make everyone's day, so there you have it.  But I still love you, and I'm still alive!

By the way, I picked a terrible time to stop TTC.  Seriously, is everyone pregnant right now?  Because it sure seems like it!  Don't get me wrong, I'm genuinely happy for each one of my pregnant buddies, especially the Infertiles, but man, I just feel like I'm surrounded.  On the other hand, if I was still trying I think I'd feel a lot of pressure because of that.  So yes, I still think stopping/taking a hiatus is a very good thing for me.  All the more because my job is pure shit right now and it's taking everything I have not to throw down my work, march in to my boss's office and scream, "You're a lazy asshole, do this shit yourself because I QUIT!"  The only thing stopping me is I'm a lady and ladies don't call their bosses "asshole."  ...Ahahahaha! Yeah right, you got me.  The real reason I don't do that is because I can't afford to quit without having another job lined up.  Which I'm working on!  I can't wait to get the hell out of here.

Whew.  You can tell I'm stressed when I swear profusely.  Even Hubs is growing weary of my gutter mouth.  Sorry, I'll try to rein it in.

So yeah.  Not TTC = Good.  I've come to realize I'm in a terrible place to be trying to get pregnant.  Even if it were to happen I'd probably worry so much that I'd end up miscarrying again.  And if I didn't miscarry, I'd certainly have a hell of a time trying to juggle taking care of an infant and continuing to work here without going ballistic.  If Hubs and I decide to start trying again it will be after I get my act together and can go more than a few days without having a breakdown at my desk.  And if we decide to try IVF, which we've talked about, it will be after all that and after we pay off our debt.  (Which will hopefully be next year! We're getting close!)

Other than that, things are fine.  I've been spending more time with my girlfriends, Hubs and I have gone out with friends a couple of times.  We're getting back into circulation after being hermits for the past few months.  I still don't have the nerve to hang out with the pregnant chicks, but hey, baby steps right?  I'm trying not to be so hard on myself and working on not taking things to heart so much.  It's slow-going and I'll probably end up needing professional help anyway, but I can see a little improvement already.  Who knows, maybe someday I'll be a happy, well-rounded individual!  Wouldn't that be nice?

Happy Thursday my friends!  Only one more day until the weekend and I CAN'T WAIT.  Here's hoping it gets here fast!

Bullet point check-in

It's been beyond insane at work this week... and last week... and will most likely continue in that fashion for weeks to come I'm afraid.  But I have a moment of quiet right now so I thought I'd just pop in to say hi!

• Hi :)
• Did you know that stress is bad for your skin?  Well, it's bad for my skin.  I've had this cystic zit on my chin ever since my miscarriage that grows and shrinks but never completely goes away.  On Monday it was tiny; today it's about the size of a golf ball (and it hurts! And itches!).  I've been popping Xanax like it's going out of style all week.  Coincidence?  I think not.
• My friend B had an 80's themed birthday party this past weekend and everyone had to dress up.  I am now extremely sad I wasn't able to fully participate in 80's fashion back when it was stylish.  It was so fun!  I wish I could wear blue eyeshadow, big hair, teal tights, and hot pink off-the-shoulder sweatshirts every day!  I looked hot.
• Team Aardvark had been doing pretty well in our bowling league... Okay hold up, "pretty well" might be a little strong.  I mean, we were ranked a respectable 13 or 14 out of 17 teams. Then last week all three of us hit our personal worst scores, and we are now 2nd to last in the league. The worst part is we're pretty sure the bottom team has only actually shown up a few times the whole season. 
• Hubs and I are both off tomorrow for Veterans Day (thanks, Vets!).  Hubs thinks we're going to be working on the garage.  I think we'll be going to the movies.  Who do you think will prevail?

And that's my life lately!

It's not you, it's me

I need some space.

I'm not ready for a serious commitment.

I have so many other things going on in my life right now, I feel like I can't give you the attention you deserve.

No, I'm not breaking up with you, my bloggity friends, I just need a little distance from TTC and IF for a little while.  To get off the emotional roller coaster, if you will.  The start of a new cycle seems like a good time to try to adjust my focus and hopefully get back to some kind of balance.  Hubs and I will still try this C, since I can't seem to avoid it, but hopefully without so much obsession.

So, I may not be around here much, or I may be around but posting about stuff other than TTC and IF.  And I may not be commenting much (not that I've been a stellar commenter lately anyway, sorry), but please know it's nothing personal. 

Well I mean, it is personal, but yeah.  It's me.  Not you.

On my name

Having an unusual name hasn't always been a blessing. In fact, I'm sure you can imagine the kinds of taunts I was on the losing end of as a kid - "Here, kitty kitty kitty," "Kitty Litter," (oh, and it didn't help that my last name began with an L, that one was practically presented on a silver platter) and most imaginative, "Meow Mix," for a start.

As if it wasn't enough to have a name so easily made fun of, my name's pretty complicated to explain, too. It probably wouldn't surprise you to learn that my first name isn't Kitty. But to learn that it's actually Mary might catch you off guard. Question: How do you get Kitty from Mary? Answer: you don't. You get it from my middle name, Katherine. But I was always "Kitty" from birth, never Mary, so explanation was (and is) often necessary.

Nowadays I don't give too much thought to my moniker. It doesn't strike me as unusual, it's a part of me, sort of like my hair or my hands, as I imagine most people's names are to them. Of course, it does still give me a certain amount of grief. For example: Trying to get my doctors to call me Kitty instead of Mary; or having the girl at the coffee shop write down KATIE, no matter how clearly I enunciate; or better yet, mail coming to KATTY, what is up with that one?

Every now and then, though, I hear my name with fresh ears, and I think, "Hey, that's a pretty cool name!" If you didn't guess, I just had one of thost moments today. So I'd like to send props out to my parents for having the chutzpah to call me something out of the ordinary. It hasn't always been fun, but it's always made me feel like an original.

Work sucks, let's plan a party

I'm having one of those "I am so utterly bored by my job that I'm considering skipping through the cube farms singing 'Yankee Doodle Dandy' just so everyone doesn't think I'm as boring as my job makes me seem" moments.

Oh wait, that's every day.

Can you tell my job isn't a good fit for me?

Every few months since I started here I go through a period of absolute dread. I browse the internet for a new job, my motivation goes from miniscule to nonexistent, I daydream about starting my own business (which hubs and I will do... once we figure out what...), and I forget to be grateful that I'm making 25% more money here than I was at the job I loved but was laid off from over 2 years ago. I hate being like this, and I honestly wish I did enjoy my job, but I just can't.

So the job search coming up empty as it always does, my mind goes to 1. trying to come up with a great idea for a small business, and 2. planning stuff. I truly love making plans! Last year's big plan was for the road trip and this year it's going to be for my 30th birthday. It's in July, and I would LOVE to have a smashingly fabulous outdoor cocktail party.

Of course, this will not be possible at my house, because my backyard is not what you would call "smashing" or "fabulous." Or even "cocktail-y" for that matter. (Although it is perfect for beer fest! Which I also have to start planning.) Lucky for me, I happen to know of a wonderful backyard that's gorgeously landscaped, with three levels of decks that go up an embankment much taller than the house and offer lovely views of the ocean. It sports built-in seating and serving areas, outdoor speakers, and even twinkle lights that look like fireflies! It is the perfect backyard for a cocktail party, and it never gets used as such... at least not since my brother and SIL's wedding rehearsal dinner two years ago. Yep that's right, it's my parents' backyard!

Of course, I haven't actually asked them if I can use their house for a party, but I'm pretty sure they'll acquiesce. It will be the party of the decade, and they'll be invited, after all!

Mmm... back to daydreaming my day away...

My train of thought jumped the tracks

Today is another day of not much interesting to talk about. And yes, I will regale you with all the mundane details anyway.

(How's that for an attention-grabbing opener? Take that, Freshman AP English!)

A little wave of melancholy went over me a few minutes ago. I've been slightly on edge all day and AF is due in a week, so I guess it's not too surprising, but it did catch me off guard. Interesting. I guess that means I've been doing pretty well lately in the depression department. It's really, really easy to let these feelings linger, and deepen, and not bother trying to stop them though.

Sidenote - One of the underlings just gave me something called a Mel.ty.ble.nd and it is pure delicious! It's a little chocolatey-hazelnutty morsel of melt-in-your-mouth creamy heaven that she got in a Japanese market in Little Tokyo. Makes me want to drive down to L.A. and pick up a whole case!

I think that snapped the melancholy right out of me. Nice :) All of the pick-me-up, none of the effort. Thanks, Japan!

Well, my friend didn't call me last night like she was supposed to, to tell me where spin class is (and you know I wasn't about to call her and find out!), so I'm off the hook tonight! It's kind of a relief actually. Now I'm going bridesmaid dress shopping with Tracy instead. I think she's actually close to coming to a decision, so it should be fun.

Hmm... it just occurred to me that there is a very small possibility of me being rather pregnant at Tracy's wedding. It's in August. Of course, I know better than to hope it will actually happen though.

I guess that's about it. You lucked out, not too many mundane details after all. ;)

I'll post about Christmas tomorrow!

Wouldn't it be awesome to have a dinner party with all your favorite IF bloggy friends? My house is so small that we can't fit more than 6 or 8 people inside at the same time comfortably, much less all seated at one table, and I longingly dream of having a real dinner party one day! I have a lovely table that expands to seat 10 and was owned by my grandparents in the 50's, and I often think about adding more place settings to my service-for-eight wedding china. I love to browse for serving platters, party china, wine glasses and table cloths. I imagine theme nights and menus of simple but delicious foods paired with wonderful wines.

Since I can't have a proper dinner party inside my home, I fantasize about setting it up in our backyard. Our backyard is quite large, at least it is for Southern California, and we've put a lot of work into making it conducive to outdoor entertaining. It still has a long way to go before it fits our vision, but it's definitely come a long way from when we bought the house. In my dream, I have the table set out in the middle of the grass. Gold twinkle lights, or something more dramatic like those vintage-looking bubble-shaped clear glass bulbs, are somehow suspended over the table (somehow, because in reality we have nothing that would support them), and white candles and elegant flowers are arranged along the middle of the table. The table itself is adorned with some kind of clever and attractive linen arrangement, not necessarily one solid cloth covering the whole thing, and my wedding china, silverware and wine glasses are set out. And don't forget the pretty place cards at each setting!

Dinner would start at sunset, with all the guests dressed to the nines - the women wearing formal but light summery dresses, the men in suits, but looking casual sans ties, and shoes are optional for everyone. The food is is a big hit, the wine flows, and sparkling conversation and laughter abound into the night...

That's my dinner party fantasy. Anyone want to come? :)

I'm a whiny-pants

Since I have nothing useful or interesting to share at the moment, I will whine about how my guts still hurt from the lap. I had to LOL a little (gently!) at CJ's post about wanting to have sex already after her lap (which was on the same day as mine). Seriously, I can't even think about sex yet! I can barely WALK! You go, girl :)

So here is a list of things that make my still-swollen belly hurt:

-Sneezing. This is the WORST! My poor peepers are really sensitive to sunlight and I always sneeze when it's bright outside. Owieeee!

-Laughing. Last night hubs said something that made me laugh, and when he realized I thought it was funny, he kept going with it, even though I told him to knock it off because it friggin' HURT! No comedy in my life for a few more days please!

-Lying on my side. I am a side-sleeper, big time, so this majorly sucks balls. Even if I take a pain pill, I can just imagine all my organs sliding around, and the connective tissue stretching out to their limits, and - nope! Can't do it. Gotta sleep on my back.

-Atticus. My cat is SUCH a doofus. How many times do I have to push him away before he gets that he CANNOT climb on my tummy? Yesterday he stepped directly on my belly button. Which currently sports a lovely yellow halo of a bruise. Hot stuff!!

-Driving. Seriously! It's not so much the freeway ride, it's going through sharp turns, or anything else that requires the use of my abs. Okay, yeah, it would probably help if I slowed down a little. I do like to go fast!

I know, I'm a major crybaby. But this is my blog and I can whine if I want to!

On a less self-centered note, my friend J had her lap today at 1:00 and I'm hoping all went well! She's had other surgeries before so she'll probably be less of a baby than me about it :)

Hey, it's almost time to go home, and that means it's almost officially FRIDAY! Woot.

Soul-searching on a Monday

A thought occurred to me today. I thought, "What if my lap and removal of the endo actually does the trick and I get pregnant?" As soon as the notion entered my mind I tried to stifle it with my usual pessimism, but not before a wave of nervous/excited butterflies went over me. It was the first time in a long time that I had a moment, albeit only half a second, of pure hope. It felt good.

Sitting at home the past several days hasn't been easy. Although I've been off meds for almost three years now, the battle against depression rages on, and spending long stretches of time indoors doesn't help matters one bit. Today I watched Ju.lie & Jul.ia and teared up about 4 times, and not just at the parts that illustrated Julia Child's infertility. But it got me thinking; I've been spending the past two years of my life with tunnel vision - focused on the singular goal of getting pregnant. What's going to happen when I finally reach my goal? Being a mom will be amazing, but I know that motherhood alone won't make me feel satisfied in my existence. And please don't think I mean to belittle anyone for whom motherhood is/will be the culmination of all their hopes and dreams. Believe me, it's a major part of who I want to be. It's just that, like my own mother, being a mom isn't the only thing I want out of life, and it never has been.

But what will satisfy me? Certainly not working at the bank and living my small life in our tiny house in the town I've lived in for 29 years. All I know about Julia Child I learned from watching the movie today, but it seems to me she lived an exciting life full of passion and love. I want that too. But I don't even know what I'm passionate about. Isn't it funny how most fertiles probably don't think about these things to the extent that we IFers do? They think, "I want to have children." And then they do. And then they worry about what else they want to do with their lives, if anything. But they don't have to put these thoughts on hold until they find out if their next test or treatment works. For them, the wait to decide in what direction they want their lives to go isn't indefinite.

I suppose I'm just feeling down in the dumps after spending an entire day by myself, bored out of my head. But what a perfect time for the thoughts that have been hovering just below the surface of my consciousness for some time to make their appearance. I'm almost 30 and I don't know what I want to do with my life. How the hell am I going to figure it out?

Disneyland

It turns out we didn't take very interesting photos, so I'll try to make this as fun as possible!

Here I, the birthday girl, am struttin' my stuff on Main St. U.S.A. Notice that I'm sporting my "it's my birthday" button, as promised! Hubs wouldn't let me get a tiara though. :'(

Standing in line is boring with a capital J. So we made our own fun and took random pictures of ourselves. Here (in line for Pirates of the Caribbean) hubby is attempting to look incredulous, and I'm doing my interpretation of Derek Zoolander's "Blue Steel."

While we were standing in line for the Finding Nemo ride (whatever it's called), they were doing a little Star Wars show (way in the back there, the people with the brown robes just below the umbrellas), teaching kids (er, padawans) how to use "light sabers." It was too cute! They used those plastic ones that telescope out when you whip them. And the instructors would tell the kids, "Activate!" "Deactivate!"

The Nemo ride was really cute! Here are some ancient ruins, miles below the surface of the ocean... Oh yes, they're totally authentic.

In line for the Buzz Lightyear ride/game (which, by the way, is super fun! We went on it twice). I am so hardcore. What's even more brutal is that my mouth looks just like Emperor Zurg's.

And hubs looks just like Buzz! :\

Makin' out in Toon Town! Get a room!

Ah, good times were had by both of us. See, Allison? I'm not always a crotchety old lady! Hehe. But yeah. I still don't like it when people get all up in my bubble! I need my 3 feet of personal space!

Overall, we had a great time. And we're set for the next year or two before we go back :)

Sleepypie

I am so tired today!

I will get around to reading everyone's posts from yesterday, promise. But unfortunately since I'm over here on the west coast, you probably won't know it until tomorrow anyway. I do care, though!

Thank you for the birthday wishes, both here and in We.bM.D land. I just love you ladies!

Disneyland was fun! We didn't get there until almost noon and left before 9, but that's about all we could handle anyway. As a testament to my age, I'm friggin' exhausted today and my feet are KILLING me. Plus, can I just say that there are way too many people out there with ZERO respect for personal space? I was touched, rubbed against, and breathed on more than I care to remember while standing in the lines. And if I tried to inch away, they'd scoot right up behind me again. **Shudder** I don't really like being touched by randoms. Call me crazy. Anyway, I'll post more on D-land later tonight when I can put up some photos.

Besides yesterday's adventure, I just haven't been sleeping well lately. Last night it was hot, and since it so rarely gets overly hot where we live, homes here just don't have A/C. Well, I kept waking up in a pool of my own sweat. Pleasant! As a bonus, I was also having nightmares and at one point hubs had to wake me up because I was screaming, but without my voice, KWIM? The night before last was girls night, and I may have had one too many glasses of pink champagne, and I never sleep well after drinking. Needless to say, I'll be going to bed early tonight!

In TTC news, I cheated on my summer vacation! After girls night I noticed EWCM, plus, ya know, I was a little excitable from the champagne, so there was a BD session that night. Our break has been really open-ended from the beginning, so maybe we'll just kind of ease back into TTC. I definitely don't see us going all out this C, and I'm still not too sure about next month either. It's kind of nice to just let things happen and play out however they will for a while. Who knew I'd actually enjoy TAB?

Today is CD17. I'm trying to be really vigilant on the lookout for Yolanda. Another round of RepHresh will take place this evening, and if nothing else, I'll apparently have really supple tissue! Gotta stock up on the AZO tablets too. Yolie's not taking me down without a fight!

My my my my my boogie shoes

I'm in a silly mood today. :)

My birthday is tomorrow and I am so excited. I swear, I'm just like a little kid. I never understood people who dread their birthdays because I love mine so much! Yep, when it comes to my birthday, I am a total attention whore.

Tonight the girls are getting together for wine to celebrate not only my birthday, but the engagement of our friend, S! It's bound to be quite a party! I have to try to take it easy though because hubs and I are taking the day off tomorrow to go to Disneyland. Then on Saturday we're going to a Dodger game! I love it!

I'm all about the embarrassing attention too, like at Disneyland I'm totally gonna rock the "it's my birthday" sticker all day. I may even get me some Mickey ears to top it off. And I love it when we go to a restaurant and they sing happy birthday! And hello, who doesn't want a free dessert? Now I just need to figure out something to do at Dodger Stadium that will get me on the Jumbo-Tron. That would really make my day!

Okay I have to try to get some work done before I have to leave to go to the DMV. (My dang license is expiring tomorrow, oops!)