Ringing in the New Year

I would have created something lovely to share with you for the New Year, but I didn't think of it until today and sadly I don't have Photoshop at work! So here's something I pilfered off the interweb. :)

Now for some mush...

2009 was a particularly difficult year for many of us, but I can't count it as a complete loss. I am so happy and grateful to have met all of you wonderful women. You've helped me through one of the hardest times of my life (not that it's over yet!), and without your amazing support and encouragement, as cliche as it is to say, I would truly be lost today.

I hope that 2010 brings us all something wonderful, whatever it may be!

New leaf

I don't usually make New Year's Resolutions. I think that's because way back in elementary school I imagined what a year would look like if it was all drawn out on paper - a weird, wobbly kind of loop thing that not only didn't have the year starting in the correct place (it started in September), but, because in my head the year went in a circle (sort of) and not forward, it may have also really jacked up my way of thinking! And I never did get that image out of my head.

So yeah. I don't think of January as the beginning of the year, therefore I don't think about making resolutions. But this year I am.

2009 kind of sucked. And by "kind of sucked" I mean it was right up there with my first year of marriage which started with hubs getting laid off on my birthday and ended with us in marriage counseling. So, pretty sucky.

Obviously 2009 was the year I discovered I'm infertile, and of course that realization changed me. Truly it's very much like a loss, and I went (and am still going) through stages of grief. Denial, guilt, anger, bargaining, depression... It's only now that I'm barely starting to see a glimmer of hope on the horizon. I don't mean hope of getting pregnant necessarily, but hope that I can be happy. That one day all of this sadness and despair will be behind me and my life will be good.

I want 2010 to be the start of that good life. It's going to be a multi-step process:

-I'm tired of feeling anxious and stressed all the time so I'm going to start taking better care of myself - starting with exercising regularly and eating better. (It's time to try out some new veggies!)

-I'm tired of being constantly sad and obsessing over my infertility, so I'm going to start focusing on happier things. Maybe start getting involved in more things that I enjoy.

-I'm going to remember that I am not a statistic! I'm an individual and my situation is different from anyone else's.

-I am going to go to church more often (even if I cry in the aisle in front of everyone).

I know, resolutions are supposed to be simple so that you have a chance of actually sticking to them, and I just listed 4 different things. But really it isn't so much - exercise, do stuff I like, go to church... Even if I only do one of those things it will be progress! So I'm not setting myself up for failure, I'm giving myself lots of room for success. :)

Now if I could just get my Wii already I could start on #1!

Jonesin'

For my birthday - in July - my mom got me a Wii Fit. I'd used my brother's and LOVED it, and had been casually saying to my mom that I wanted to get one. I honestly was not dropping hints, because I don't actually even have a Wii. So since I got the Wii Fit, hubs and I have been planning on getting a Wii for Christmas. We cashed in some points on a credit card and got a gift card to B.est Bu.y. I already had another gift card I'd been holding on to forever, and the rest we got for Christmas. We now have more than enough in free money to get ourselves the coveted Wii!

Unfortunately, of the 6 Be.st Bu.ys in a 60 mile radius, not one has a single Wii in stock! They say they'll get more in this week, but they don't know which day.

Can I tell you how much I've been itching to use my Wii Fit??? A LOT. For months! They better have them in before the weekend, I need something to do on Saturday while hubs is at work.

Speaking of 'doing' and 'hubs'... I can't believe that today is CD7 already and the BDing will pretty much begin tonight. AF is gone and my libido has taken her place - I just hope it sticks around for a couple weeks! I can't deny that my hopes are up this C. I'm trying to keep it in check, but I have to admit it feels good to be hopeful and excited for once. I'll worry about being disappointed after I ovulate. Until then I'll continue sipping my green tea and daydreaming about ways to make BD fun...