STDSANHK: Nieces and nephews

I love being an auntie. Hubs and I have eight nieces and nephews whose ages range from 1 to 22 years old, and every one of them has brought so many smiles and wonderful moments to our lives. I've often wished we could provide some cousins for our little tykes to play with, but since that dream has gone by the wayside I've become more appreciative of what we have.

I myself have more aunts and uncles than you can shake a stick at, and growing up the ones who made the biggest impression on me were those who were childless during my formative years. When the whole family got together, they were the ones who had the time and energy to hang out with my siblings, cousins and I, while the moms and dads enjoyed grown-up conversations away from the kids. The childless aunts and uncles woud talk to us and tell us jokes and funny stories. They taught us how to play pool and they played games with us. They were the easygoing, fun, exciting family members that us kids looked forward to spending time with almost as much as we looked forward to spending time with our cousins. The childless aunts and uncles were the Big Kids.

Now it's my turn to be a Big Kid with my nieces and nephews. When our siblings are tired from working and parenting all day (all week... all year...), Hubs and I have the energy to run around after their kids. We're happy to listen to them chatter incessantly about their latest obsessions from Dora to video games to *gasp* love interests. We're happy to push them on the swing, sit on the floor and color with them, and let them show us their rooms for the fifteen hundredth time. And I in particular am always happy to hold the baby until she falls asleep when my siblings are busy getting ready for birthday parties for the older tykes!

I feel that Hubs and I are so willing and able to do all this stuff because we don't have kids of our own. We're not required to do it every single day the way a parent is, and we get plenty of breaks in between the times we see our nieces and nephews, so there's no burnout. When we hang out with our nieces and nephews we're on top of our game and can be the most fun Auntie and Uncle possible!

The best part is, I know my siblings and sibs-in-law appreciate our "help." It's funny because Hubs and I want to and enjoy playing an active part in the kids' lives, so when our siblings thank us for spending time with their kids I think, there's no reason for that. I think we get as much out of it as the kids do, and we benefit as much from it as our siblings do. Nevertheless, it's nice to know that we're taking some of the pressure off of them, and that we're making a meaningful contribution to the well-being of our family.

STDSANHK: Sleep


Show of hands: How many of you have seen or heard about this little gem?

Another show of hands: How many parents actually own this little gem?

I first heard about this book a couple of months ago on FB and thought it sounded hi-freaking-larious. I've decided that should I ever have a child, this is the first baby-related item I'll be purchasing for myself. No, it won't help my kid fall asleep any faster (probably), but since a good sense of humor is absolutely essential to maintaining one's sanity, and sleep deprivation is one of the quickest ways to lose one's sanity, I figure it's a solid investment.

Until that day comes, however, I am going to be ever so grateful for my ability to sleep pretty much as much as I want. Because one thing I know about having children, especially very young children, is that they aren't nearly as interested in sleeping through the night as I am. I'm the type of girl who needs a minimum of 7 hours of sleep a night - every night - in order to feel human. I've worked through days after getting only a few hours of sleep, and guess what: It's not fun. I am not a nice person when I'm tired, and I'm really kind of a raging bitch when I'm truly sleep-deprived.

On top of my nocturnal requirements, I'm also a fan of another type of unconscious activity, maybe you've heard of it. It's called Sleeping In. I've never been much for naps, but man alive can I sleep in with the best of them. Every other Saturday when Hubs has to work I'm not shy about sleeping in until as late as noon (I do get a little shy when it starts creeping up on 1:00 p.m., though). And if I had my way I'd sleep until 8:00 a.m. every day (except every other Saturday, of course).

Some kids, especially school-aged children, might be down with sleeping in. I know I was. But most younger kids, in my experience anyway, have no time for such nonsense. I think they're under the (clearly false) impression that they're missing out on something if they're not awake during daylight hours. There is no reasoning with a toddler, however, so most parents are up when the kid is, stumbling to the coffee pot, blearily rubbing sleep from their puffy eyes...

Meanwhile, I'm snoring away, happily dreaming about the next time I get to sleep in until noon... Which is just a few days away now!

Stuff that doesn't suck about not having kids

While I'm in limbo deciding what will ultimately be the next direction my blog takes, I had a thought!  (Red letter day!  A thought entered my mind that had nothing whatsoever to do with audits or job hunts or new hires or irate customers or file maintenance...)  As you may have guessed from the oh-so-subtle title of this post, that thought was to write about stuff that doesn't suck about not having kids.  'Cause I'm realizing that there's actually a lot of stuff I'm grateful for that I wouldn't be able to enjoy if this whole infertility thing didn't happen to me.

Because I am the Queen of Disclaimers, I have this to say before I begin:  These posts may sometimes sound like generalizations, but in reality they're specific to me and my situation.  Of course I hope I have some readers who'll go, "Oh!!  I totally agree!  I also think that's something that doesn't suck about being childless!"  But I also expect to have some readers who'll go, "Okay, but I would give that up in half a heartbeat, no questions asked, if I could just have one opportunity to have a child."  Or even some moms thinking, "Yeah, but being a mom is infinitely better than that, and I wouldn't trade it for a lifetime of that."  I get it.  I'm just sayin', please don't get offended.  This is fair warning that I intend to remove some of my filters, and it might get a little blunt up in here.

Like today, for example, I'm gonna write about SEX.  And I don't mean babymakin'.

Call me a whore (I really wasn't), but in my youth and heyday I was quite the adventurous sexual partner, and looking back I'd say I peaked when Hubs and I were dating the first time around.  Our chemistry was spectacular from the start, and we were young and full of hormones and carefree energy.  We (or maybe just I, Hubs never seems to be at a loss for interest in sex) have lost some of that over the years thanks to infertility, relationship issues, and work stress; i.e. life.  But now that we're putting the thought of having kids on the back-burner indefinitely, we have the chance to work on bringing that spark back to the bedroom.  And oh my goodness, it's fun.

Being infertile and not TTC means we now get to have sex for no other reason than to freakin' feel good!  And not having kids means we get to be as free as we wanna be when we do the deed.  If we feel like covering the living room floor with blankets and pillows and spending a Saturday afternoon rolling around in them, we get to do that.  We don't have to worry about being walked in on or being caught by innocent eyes.  We don't have to think twice, or even once, about being too loud, or walking around the house naked (with the blinds closed! I'm not an exhibitionist for crying out loud), or where we keep the adult toys - I mean, uhh... What??

Not having kids also means we have more time and energy to have sex.  Kids require a lot of attention if I'm not mistaken, and from my experiences with my numerous nieces and nephews I've found that they also require a LOT of energy.  Even after babysitting for a couple of hours I'm ready for a nap!  I know that if I'd had a baby when we started TTC over three years ago, and if I now had a toddler (or two) to chase around after working a long day in the Seventh Circle of Hell, my energy would be completely sapped.  I can't say how that would've affected my sex life, but knowing myself, I'm 100% sure it would not have enhanced it.

So yes, for the moment, I'm grateful that not having kids means I can go back to having great sex with the Hubs.  It's the perfect situation for me right now - No need for birth control thanks to my bum repro tract, if I do happen to end up pregnant I'll be happy, and I have nothing preventing me from just enjoying myself to the max!  I may not be the whore I used to be, but I'm starting to think (hope!) that maybe I didn't "peak" all those years ago after all.