Backyard bliss

Oh Monday, how I loathe thee.  I especially loathe thee when you're ringing in another six day workweek like you are today.  And particularly when that week is leading up to conversion weekend for one of our new acquisitions.  I have a feeling the crazy around here is going to hit critical mass very soon.

Until then, I'm taking advantage of the relative quiet to tell you about my backyard projects.  You lucky ducks, you.

I'm proud to annouce that Hubs and I are officially farmers now!  Check out our fields - expanding all the way out to the distant horizon:

Okay so it's only a 4'x8' veggie garden, but if you look at it head-on while lying on the ground it goes on as far as the eye can see! 

We followed these instructions by Sunset magazine except for the part where they suggest buying individual bags of soil; instead we went to our local garden shop and got a truckbed full of bulk soil for much cheaper.  You can barely see them in this photo, but there are four holes to attach two arched PVC pipes over the width of the bed, which we then drape with a net to keep the birds and cats out.  We also went a step further and added screws that stick out about 1/4" all around the base to secure the netting. 

With any luck we'll be harvesting our crops in about 2-3 months!  I've been daydreaming about hosting a backyard dinner party featuring veggies from our garden, so hopefully at least some of them will take.  We planted butter lettuce, zucchini, cucumbers, green onions, and carrots, and next weekend we're adding a tomato plant.  Should make for a really delicious salad!

For my next trick I'm going to try to get Hubs started on building a pergola to put over/near our fire pit.  Aside from farming and throwing a dinner party, my other backyard dream is to have a sort of outdoor living room complete with pretty furniture and drapes for some privacy.  Ahh... well, a gal can dream, right?  The furniture will probably have to wait since it can be pretty pricey, but building the bones shouldn't be too expensive and we're loving Sunset's straightforward instructions on all these projects we've been wanting to do.

Most of our weekend was spent outside, and in addition to completing the veggie garden I also cleared a boatload of grass from one of my planters.  Super exciting and I discovered what happens after I spend an entire afternoon kneeling on the ground digging in the dirt.  Answer:  I spend the entire evening sitting in the recliner unable to move.  The planter looks about a thousand times better though so I guess in the end it was worth the pain. 

All these backyard projects are making me really excited about warmer weather.  I'm in a little bit of denial that it's still only early April; I keep thinking that by now it should be consistently warmer out than it is!  I'm ready for summer NOW; why can't it just cooperate and show up already?

The weekend and stuff

Don't you love it when you're sitting at work on a Monday, all miserable because it's freaking Monday and there are all kinds of issues popping up and it seems like nothing is going right, when you suddenly remember you're off on Friday and your mood is instantly improved?  I do!!  I'm so glad I decided not to wait until Hubs could take time off with me to request a much-needed vacation day.  Knowing the week is going to be one day shorter than usual just brightens me right up.  I think I'll get up just a little later than my normal time on Friday so I can spend the morning with Hubs before he goes to work, then I'm going to get a pedicure and maybe see a movie with my friend K.  Ahh...  Yes, I feel much better now!

Of course, don't ask me how I feel about this week when I'm working (unpaid) overtime on Tuesday and Thursday.

Anywho.  I had a very nice weekend.  I slept in way too late on Saturday, which was absolute bliss, and then proceeded to do very little throughout the day.  I think I did something productive, but I can't remember what it could have been...  Oh yeah - I made brownies.  Really, I think that's about it.  After Hubs got home from work we went out to dinner, but it was an early night since we had big plans for Sunday and wanted to be up at a decent hour.  We got a late start anyway, but we managed to get almost everything done that we wanted to.  After a trip to the nursery (the kind with the plants, not the kind with the babies) and the hardware store we spent the afternoon in the backyard where I potted some plants while Hubs built a gorgeous raised garden bed.  We should have it totally "installed" and ready for planting this coming weekend.  I can't wait to start planting my own veggies! 

I also did a lot of thinking over the weekend.  I really want to write a book (a novel), and I came up with what I think is a great idea for a story.  It'll draw from my IF experiences, but with a twist, and will hopefully come off as fun, funny and a little sentimental.  Ya know, your typical chick-lit.  I've been mulling it over and bouncing ideas off Hubs, and now it's time to get an outline going.  Who knows, I may actually reach my goal of publishing a book one day!

Okay, back to the grind for me!  What am I doing blogging?  I have a boatload of work to do!  Hope you're having a great Monday.  :)

The weekend wrap-up

Why are Monday mornings so rough?  I think it's because of the anticipation of an entire new workweek.  Five long days stretch out ahead of me as far as the eye can see (or the mind can imagine) and the potential for misery seems endless.  But by the time Tuesday rolls around and Monday is a memory I usually feel better.  Just gotta make it through today!

How was your weekend?  All in all mine was pretty good.  The weather was beautiful on Saturday so Hubs spent the day mowing and edging the yard while I was cooped up in the office/lounge/Atticus's room creating the logo for my women's group.  We just upgraded to Photoshop CS5 from CS2 and I didn't realize how many things can change in three upgrades until I took on this little project!  It ended up taking me about 4 hours to get it done enough to be usable for now, but I think it came out pretty nice.  I'll post it here after it makes its debut on the group blog so you can judge for yourselves :) 

Grandma's birthday party on Sunday was fun.  I'm so glad my whole immediate family was able to make the 3 hour drive down to San Diego for it.  It was nice to see my cousins, aunt and uncle, and of course Grandma too!  She's struggling with Alzheimer's, but she's been on that medication that's supposed to slow it down and it seems to help.  She still forgets whose kid is whose and couldn't remember who gave her the lovely wrap she received 20 minutes after opening it (it was my mom, in case you were wondering), but overall she still has her faculties about her, remembers who we all are, and is reasonably "with it."

My sister and her family brought their new puppy along for the ride yesterday as well, and she's just about the cutest thing ever.  She's an 11 week old Shiba Inu, which is one of the dogs that Hubs would like to eventually get.  So of course he fell in love with her and immediately started looking up the cost of Shiba Inu puppies on his phone.  If only he were that excited about getting a kitten! 

In an interesting turn of events, a friend recently mentioned this website and it got me thinking about IVF vacations.  They're cheaper than most standard IVF cycles plus you get an almost three week Costa Rican vacation out of it included in the cost!  Even if it's not quite like a "real" vacation (no drinking, sex, or much sightseeing since I'd have to rest most of the time) at least I wouldn't have to go to work; I could lay by the pool and read for days instead.  Hubs and I spent a good amount of time talking about it on Saturday and we figure once we pay off our debt it may be something we can pursue.  So it looks like our quest for a little bio VonD may not be over just yet after all...

This weekend is gonna suck

Okay, maybe it won't suck completely.  But read on and I think you'll understand why I'm not looking forward to it one bit.

Reason #1 this weekend will suck:  I have to come in to work tomorrow for four hours.  It's really not that big of a deal; I plan on wearing overly comfy clothes and showering tonight so as to maximize my sleep time.  I'll be home by 12:30 and Hubs has to work anyway too.  Still, there's something a little disheartening about it being Friday when you know you still have an extra day of this crap to look forward to.

Before I tell you the second reason, maybe you should sit down.  Y'know, in case you were standing at your computer reading blogs.

Sitting down now?  Good.  Deep breath...

Because it's Superbowl.  Don't hurt me!  Football just doesn't do it for me.  And although under normal cirumstances I enjoy a Superbowl party as much as the next person, reason number three explains why these aren't normal circumstances.

Number three: At this party, there's an excellent chance I'll run into 3 or 4 of Hubs's friends' pregnant wives.  I haven't seen any of them since they got pregnant.  As much as I genuinely like each of them, I'm dreading this.  Hence the reason I haven't seen them since they got themselves in a family way.  They know about my IF, so hopefully it won't be as painful as I anticipate.  And if it is, Hubs gave me an out and said we can leave early if it's really bad.  I love that man.

At least the day is half over now.  Hope you're having a happy Friday :)

It's Saturday and the weather's fine

Hubs woke up all excited about going to the farmers market this morning.  I know lots of people find it enjoyable, but I will never understand excitement over grocery shopping.  To me it's a necessary evil at best.  But we did get some good deals on fresh produce, and I got to pick up a pumpkin latte from Cof.fee Be.an which made getting out of bed before 10 almost worth the trouble.

Later, while Hubs was putting up insulation in the garage/man cave, I weeded our very neglected planters and pulled up all the dead plants.  Ever since the m/c I've been avoiding gardening more than usual, almost to the point of deliberately letting our plants die.  I guess that was my small way of sticking it to life; fickle, fickle life.  For the record, most of the plants survived the VonD famine, I just had to get rid of a few annuals.  Even better, one of my azaleas is blooming, and the other, along with all three rose bushes, are getting ready to bloom again too.  And now I have room to plant more roses, which somehow seem to thrive in our yard despite my black thumb.

Now Hubs and I are feeling restless.  We have a birthday shindig to attend later tonight, and I think we may just laze around the house drinking vodka cranberries until then.  And at some point I may take a shower too.

Hope you're having a lovely weekend :)

My happy Halloween weekend

Don't you hate it when a perfectly good weekend is interrupted by a VERY ~Monday~ morning?  Atticus was in rare form whining for food well before my alarm went off, someone left all the windows in the house open last night so the whole place was freezing, and I've had some stomach issues for the past week that culminated in the unstoppable need to barf while I was brushing my teeth.  Things can only improve from there, right?  I hope...

Before this morning, though, the weekend was pretty great.  Our potential guests decided to stay with another friend, which worked out perfectly.  On Saturday morning we headed downtown to the farmers market and stocked up on veggies and a lovely bouquet of autumn-y flowers.  I was feeling adventurous and also picked up some pomegranates, yum!  Afterwards we walked to a couple of thrift stores in search of Halloween costumes.  The plan was to dress up as an old couple, but when I found a fabulously 60's dress and Hubs discovered a pair of 1970's Levi's 'Gentleman's Jeans,' we decided to go to the party as a retro couple instead.  I just wish I'd gotten a photo of my gorgeous blue and gold eye shadow; let me tell you, it looked pretty amazing. 

It was nice spending the evening with some friends we hadn't seen in months (isn't that usually the case with me?), even if the party was a little on the bland side.  As if to spice up the evening, we had one of the scariest cab rides home I've ever experienced.  Many laws were broken, the cabbie was messing with his cell phone, pager, and GPS all while speeding, and then when we got home he kept trying (unsuccessfully) to give Hubs some business cards.  Looking back we should have taken one, just so we'd know which driver to NEVER get a ride from again!

After I slept off my hangover on Sunday, Hubs and I ran some errands and then came home and carved pumpkins together.  We wanted to create our own designs, but were both at a loss for what to carve, since it's been about 15 years since the last time we'd done it.  They ended up looking really cute though.  I tried my hand at scraping for the first time and made a firy cauldron, where the flames were cut out but the cauldron was scraped so it just sort of glows.  Hubs's jack-o-lanterns turned out better than mine did, he made two: one scary face and one scared face.  Since we weren't handing out candy and didn't want kids to think we were, we put our creations on the steps by the back door instead of out front.  Then we ordered some take out and watched Bram Stoker's Dracula before going to bed. 

It was just about the perfect Halloween weekend.  Well, except for that one moment when we found out another one of our friends is pg, but I'm working on blocking that detail from my memory.

Hope your Monday is going easy on you!

The Barren exhibit, and other stuff

Hello my friends :)

First, an update on my weekend activities:

My friend B and I went to the Barren exhibit on Saturday and it was very moving.  Most of the pieces were photographs of things like empty cribs, strollers, and lonely toys.  There were also some wintry scenes with bare trees and frost-covered ground.  A few were mixed media and a technique I'm not really familiar with (and I forgot the name) that looked like multiple photo exposures layered together, but with a sketchy quality.  Some of the pieces were quite graphic; apparently the artist experienced multiple early miscarriages, if that gives you an idea.  She also had a few written pieces posted here and there, talking about visiting a friend who had just given birth, thoughts that seemed to have been written when she was in some of her darkest places, and so on.  Those were the pieces that touched me the most. I guess maybe I have more of an appreciation for literary art than visual art.  There were many points where I was choking back the tears.  I don't really know what else to say about it.  I'm very glad I went, but I'm not sure I can say I enjoyed it, you know?  It definitely touched me, as I'm sure it would touch anyone who has dealt with infertility.

The rest of the day Saturday was much more lighthearted.  B and I tried to sell some clothes and accessories at Bu.ffa.lo E.xcha.nge, and discovered that we're not nearly cool enough for them.  Even my Be.tsey Jo.hnson dress was denied and that thing is CUTE (but a size 4, which I no longer am nor will I probably ever be again).  We each managed to unload a pair of shoes in exchange for store credit, so maybe I'll be able to pick up a new sweater or something.  After that we had lunch and made the rounds to all the local party stores to brainstorm decoration ideas for B's 1980's themed 30th birthday bash which is coming up in 2 weeks.  You know how I love throwing a party, so of course I offered to help her set everything up!

~Poss. triggs ahead~
As planned, Hubs and I spent Sunday afternoon/evening at my brother and SIL's to see baby J.  She is so damn cute and such a good baby.  I didn't want to put her down!

~TMI (and obsession) ahead~
I'm pretty sure either yesterday or today is CD1.  Although, what I'm experiencing right now reminds me of what I experienced right before I got my BFP.  Let me explain - last night (CD28) Hubs and I DTD since it was our last chance before AF's arrival.  Afterwards I had some pink bleeding, not a lot, but enough to figure AF was starting.  This morning there were just a few brown spots on my pad, and some beige-ish CM when I wiped.  Then nothing until noon when I went to the RR, and when I wiped had about the same amount of pink bleeding as I did last night, maybe a bit more, but only 1 little brown spot on my pad.  I do not normally spot before AF, and never have since I've been doing TCM. 

Sigh... I'm anxious, scared, and trying not to be hopeful... But I have to remember I have no control over this.  Chances are AF is just messing with me, maybe we knocked something loose DTD last night and that's why I'm all spotty.  If it doesn't pick up by tomorrow I will test in the morning.  Today I'm just going to try to keep breathing.

What a week!

I don't even know where to begin today, sorry if this post turns out disjointed.

This week has felt like torture, though in reality it wasn't all bad.  Mostly it's just felt ridiculously long, work has been incredibly busy, and I've been stressed to the max.  It seems like every time I turn around my boss is saying to me, "I know you've got a lot on your plate right now, but would you...?"  Uh, yeah - more like my plate is overflowing - I've been letting things go by the wayside, forgetting things, and generally being overwhelmed and dreading the workday, but sure!  Go right ahead and see how much more you can pile on me before my sanity gives out!  Ugh.  All I can say is, thank GOD for Xanax.


The worst part about this week was Wednesday night, when it became abundantly clear that I'm in need of professional therapy.  How I was feeling a couple weeks ago had nothing on the explosion of emotions going on inside me on Wednesday night.  It was not pretty, and I think I really scared Hubs.  He's pushing me to call a shrink.  I know he's right, but I'm having a hard time taking that step right now.

On Tuesday a series of thunderstorms passed our way, and in the morning knocked out power at work... Which in turn knocked out our servers, which caused a huge tizzy at the bank seeing as no one, not even locations that had power, could process transactions.  We thought we were going to have to go all disaster recovery mode, but luckily the power came back on after about half an hour.  What a relief!  The storms lasted all day, and on Tuesday evening Hubs and I watched the lightning from our backyard until it started raining... then POURING... and finally hailing.  The hail was crazy!  We rarely get such extreme weather, and when it does hail it's usually teeny tiny bits of ice.  This time it was chunks the size of quarters!

Anywho, I am more than ready for the weekend.  Shoot, I'm practically sobbing with relief knowing it's only a few hours away.  I finally have firm plans to go see the Barren photo exhibit tomorrow.  My friend B and I are going together and then having lunch afterwards since it's been way too flippin' long since the last time we saw each other.  I'm looking forward to it, and I can't wait to tell you all about it!  I'm also hoping to go with Hubs to check out this huge haunted house/maze thing nearby.  I haven't done that since I was a teenager and I'm feeling a little Halloween spirit this year I guess.  And Sunday we plan on visiting my new niecey-pie. Oh yeah, and my brothers and SIL and other niece too. ;)

I hope you've had a decent week! Do you have any fun plans for the weekend?

Just a quick update

I don't wanna work.

I just want to bang on my drum all day.

Actually, I don't really have much rhythm or coordination, so it's probably better if I stick with what I know and avoid the drums.

There's not much going on with me this week.  Today is CD 19 and I'm not particularly hopeful/delusional about this C.  We only DTD like 3 times around O, and guess what?  I don't care!!

This weekend is art walk weekend.  They do it twice a year downtown and I've never gone.  So Hubs and I decided to make it a date tomorrow night after he gets home from work.  Who knows, maybe we'll end the evening with some drinks and fun at home...  ;)  ;)

Speaking of art, I still haven't made it over to that Barren exhibit.  I'm going to try to see it tomorrow with a friend, but if that doesn't work out - next weekend for sure!  The exhibit's over on the 23rd and I'll kick myself if I miss it!

~Poss Trigs Ahead~

My SIL is due to deliver daughter #2 on Monday.  Believe it or not, I am not (at this point anyway) sad in the least about it.  On the contrary, I'm excited to meet my SIXTH niece!  She and I are going to share the same middle name, which is also my paternal grandmother's name. :)

Well my friends, I wrote my post.  That means I can go home now, right?  Pretty please...??  No?  Shoot.  Guess I'll be here for another 4 hours... Happy Friday!

The Infertile's guide to surviving a kids' birthday party

I found a way to help me get through children's birthday parties - bring along a tyke!  There are many benefits to borrowing a toddler for child-centered festivities:

1. You have someone to entertain and focus your attention on the whole time you're there.  (You know, besides the other 10,000 kids swarming around you reminding you of your barrenness.)

2. Although you may not be able to jump into parenting discussions, you at least appear at first glace to be a parent, so no one asks if you have kids.  And if anyone does start asking questions, you can pretend to be that overly-cautious mom and run off after your charge like she's getting into mischief.

3. Eventually the kid's parents will want her back, so you can leave whenever you want as long as you say, "I really hate to leave early, but her parents are expecting her home at __ o'clock."

4. Oh yeah, and the kid has fun too!

In case you hadn't guessed, Hubs and I brought our niece H (my brother's 2 year old) to our nieces V and J's (Hubs's brother's kids) birthday party on Saturday.  And truly, it made things so much easier!  I didn't have time to be sad, there were a ton of kids for H to play with and she had a great time, and an hour was the perfect amount of time to stick around - for both of us!  Why didn't I think of this sooner?

It was a pretty decent weekend all around.  And I topped it off by getting my highest score yet bowling last night!  (145, my average starting off in this league was 105.)  Now if today would get with the program and start easing up I'd have it made.  Nothing like coming back to work after a three-day weekend and getting slammed!

Whine and wine

Yesterday Hubs and I had dinner with my family at my parents' house. I was in a decent enough mood, but I had one of those moments when I really felt out of place. Four of my nieces and nephews were running around the backyard, with my sister and brother leading a conversation about pregnancy and parenthood. Meanwhile Hubs and I were sitting 10 feet away looking at each other with nothing to contribute and a burning desire to GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. Sigh... Score another point for infertility - driving wedges between family members since 830 B.C.

Not helping matters: Today is CD22 (about 8DPO), and I just know AF will be visiting this weekend. I really wasn't holding out much hope for this C, but I'm bummed. Very bummed. Ugh... This is still so damn hard.

Hubs and I had a very nice long weekend, though. Our trip to wine country was perfect, and we had a great time wine tasting on Friday. We booked a shuttle and wound up hitting it off with two other couples in our van, so we spent most of the day with them. We also got to spend some time with one of Hubs's good friends and his girlfriend on Thursday evening. And guess what? No one talked about kids or babies the whole trip. We got back early Saturday afternoon and spent most of the weekend just hanging out at home. It was nice and relaxing.

Seeing as we're now completely broke, it's time to quit having fun and get back to work on the house. We still (always!) have a ton to do, so that will be the focus of our weekends for the next... however long. But I'm excited to get stuff done, our little bungalow will look so much more finished and homey.

Almost time for acupuncture. Fingers crossed it does the trick and pulls me out of my funk today.

Amalgamation

FYI: This is my 400th post! Jeez I talk a lot.

Hubs bought this book called Eve.rything is Going to Ki.ll Eve.rybody and I've been reading it in bits and pieces. Each chapter describes a different way that the world could easily be destroyed by something already in existence: supervolcanoes, weird diseases, nanotechnology, etc. It's actually a really funny book, but I think it's starting to give me nightmares. This morning I woke up from a dream that my little brother was trying to kill a Smart car that had achieved sentience and was out to get us.

Or maybe I just drank too much wine with dinner...

Anywho.

Happy Friday!! Well, to me. Apologies to those of you that are only halfway through your workweek. I'm pretty excited to be going up north for a couple of days, but even more excited to be able to sleep in for four days in a row! I'm tired!

What would a 400th post be if there wasn't some smack-talking?

I mentioned there's a lady at work who's pregnant; she's about 10 weeks along, and I'm sorry, but she's really starting to tick me off. I would like to tell her, "Look. You don't need a belly band at 10 weeks, what you need are new pants. You're not 'showing,' you just gained 15 pounds because you've been eating way too much for the past 2 months!" But what really bothers me is that she'll go into my two employees' office and talk their ears off about her pregnancy. One of those two employees is the one who just miscarried. I don't think she knows about it (she definitely doesn't know about mine), but it's still a. annoying and b. unprofessional. If it happens again I am going to ask her to kindly knock that shit off.

And to wrap things up, a brief TTC update! Wee...

So yeah... we're TTC this C. I think I ovulated somewhere between Sunday and Tuesday. I'm trying not to think about it very much, to be honest! It would be really easy for me to start obsessing and I don't want to do that. So I'll just listen to my C+B meditations, and enjoy what will hopefully be a lovely and relaxing long weekend!

How was Vegas?

It just occurred to me that I haven't told you about Vegas!

Well, I will do so posthaste.

From our house to Sin City is about a 5 hour drive. We have our routine down and it goes pretty quick actually. We left on Friday night... but not until after 8:00. That was okay though because we brought two boxes of Red Bull! Yee-haw! Other than being pulled over for speeding down a two-lane highway in the middle of nowhere (and AMAZINGLY getting let off with a warning) it was an uneventful drive.

Realizing that we are now old and unable to keep up with the debaucherous atmosphere of the strip, we decided to book a room at a resort in Henderson, the next city over. It was really lovely. Hubs and I were perfectly happy to spend all day Saturday right there - breakfast at the Pancake House, lying by the pool drinking margaritas, and gambling in their huge casino. And the weather was perfect, just hot enough to make me feel like I finally got a little taste of summer before it's completely over.

Saturday night we saw Peepshow, Ho.lly Mad.ison's (from the Girls Next Door) show. It was pretty entertaining, and seeing Ho.lly up close and very personal was, surprisingly, a little self esteem booster! The girl actually has some meat on her bones - for a Pla.yboy model anyway. Of course all the other dancers were skinny as rails, but still. It's nice to see someone in entertainment (especially mostly-naked entertainment) that looks human. Well, minus the big fake rack, of course.

And that was it! We were exhausted after a day of drinking in the sun and it was a late show, so we went back to the hotel and went to bed. The next morning we checked out early and beat the traffic coming home.

Next up: The four-day weekend! Hubs and I are taking off on Thursday to visit some friends and wineries up north on the central coast. We'll only be there two nights, though, so we can have some down time at home on Saturday and Sunday. (And also because we're going broke with all this spending we're doing!)

Weekend ramblings

Thank goodness today's not Monday.

The thought of finding another job is almost always on my mind. Often it's sort of tucked away as I trudge through one day after another. Then every couple of months it jumps out of hiding and practically screams at me, "You have GOT to get out of here before you lose it!!!" Now is one of those times. Of course the feeling is being multiplied by last week's news, which my three employees will no doubt be talking about nonstop for a while. But it's true, I do need to get out of here, and as soon as I discover what it is I'd rather be doing I'm bolting!

Until then, I'm working for the weekends. This past one was nice and mellow. Hubs and I went to breakfast with some friends followed by the Dodger game on Sunday, and yesterday we went to the movies to see Inc.eption (which I'm still trying to figure out). Other than that we pretty much sat on our butts, it was good.

In a saucy turn of events, we're going to Las Vegas this weekend! We couldn't decide whether to stick with our original plans to go wine tasting for our four day weekend next week, or to give in to our desire to visit Sin City instead... So we figured what the hell, we'll do both! This Friday we're driving out after work for a quickie sun-filled getaway, and next Thursday we'll head up north for a long mellow weekend.

*****************************

So, knock on wood, I stopped bleeding on Saturday. I think/hope/pray it's for real this time. I had acupuncture that morning and when I told him that the nurse said it could have been my period when it started back up again last Monday, he seemed to agree. So that makes today CD9. I'm starting herbs again tomorrow and C+B tonight, and I even got back into the groove of taking my vitamins and supplements over the past few days. Guess I'm officially back on the TTC wagon.

Bullet-point weekend recap

Monday again??? Didn't we have one of these last week?

I'm tired today. So I apologize for not providing the luscious details of my friend A's wedding that I just know you're all craving. I also know I owe you some pics of T's wedding two weeks ago. I'll get around to that one day...

So a quick rundown of my very busy three day weekend:

Thursday night: Hubs's birthday, sushi with friends, good times had by all!

Friday: Wedding prep, I did the bride's hair (fabulous!), small ceremony on the beach followed by an intimate dinner at the groom's mother's house, gorgeous!

Saturday: The big reception! Held at a park, super casual but still beautiful, everyone was invited, games, water balloons, jolly jump, yummy food, fun stuff.

Sunday: French toast fit for the gods (or just me and hubs), trips to Be.st B.uy and Tar.get, attended BBQ for BIL's birthday.

Notable stuff:

I'm opening up about the miscarriage IRL. Most of our friends now know. It doesn't make it any less painful, but it's easier not to have to hide it. Everyone has been very supportive and kind about it. P.S. I stopped bleeding... for a couple of days. It started again this morning.

Our new fancy-schmancy phones might be in sooner than we thought! Be.st B.uy gets a handful of them a few times a month; I'd LOOOVE to have them by the time we go on our weekend getaway.

Hubs also wants to buy a new TV. Or rather, two new TVs, because "if we're getting a flat-screen for the living room we might as well get one for the bedroom too!" I told him let's see where we're at after we pay for the new phones. Good gravy, he's taking this retail therapy thing a bit far!

Back to work!

Following up

The D&C went off without a hitch. I felt pretty woozy all day yesterday, but no real pain, thankfully. Amazingly I haven't seen much blood today. Maybe 3 weeks of bleeding was enough? I hope so. Other than that I feel pretty much fine. A little tired, but no pain at all.

Today is my niece H's 2nd birthday party. Last year, at her 1st bday, I had a little meltdown. Hubs wasn't there with me, and today he's at work again, so as you can imagine I'm not really all that excited about going. Plus my SIL is going on 8 months pg which may be a bit tough to take today. The party started an hour and a half ago and I'm still not completely dressed, nor have I yet purchased a gift. You see how this is going already.

My brother told me today he thinks I'm strong. Hubs has said that too. I don't feel strong at all, I pretty much feel like a wreck most of the time; I'm just going through the motions, doing what I have to do. I am definitely depressed. Still not sure what comes next, not that I have to be right now, I just have this feeling lately like I want to run far away from everything. Wish I could.

Some updates and stuff

Ahhh... it's been three weeks since my last acupuncture appointment and I got to go today. I needed it. I was feeling so... Eeyore this morning, and anxious on top of that, but I feel a lot more mellow now. I actually fell asleep for a few minutes during my treatment, so I guess I was pretty relaxed. My doc gave me a round of moxabustion and some herbs to help wrap up this whole miscarriage business, since I've been bleeding for about 10 days now with no sign of stopping. I hope it works, my lady business is sensitive and needs a break.

I went to the gyn for my follow-up on Friday and things are apparently going as expected. I have to get my blood drawn again this week to make sure my HCG levels are going back to normal and I also have another date with the love wand this Friday. The gyn said not to TTC for at least 2-3 months, and I sort of shrugged at him. He got it and just said well, when I get pregnant again (that's right, when) to just call and they'll get me in for an u/s right away. I do like my doctor, even if I hate going to his office. My acu said to take this month off for sure, but since I've been doing Chinese medicine for a while now my body will recover quicker than it would otherwise, so we can start TTC again after my next period. So I guess we'll mostly try to 'avoid' this month (or 6-8 weeks as the case may be), if I ever stop bleeding that is.

I had a pretty nice weekend. Saturday was my friend T's bachelorette party, we went go-kart racing and then had drinks afterwards. I also finally bought shoes for both weddings; I've been so out of it lately I completely forgot I needed to get those! Sunday hubs and I went to the air show with a couple friends and that was fun. Afterwards we indulged in a little more retail therapy. Both of our wardrobes are in serious need of updating, so now we each have a few more things to work with. I don't know about you but sometimes I literally get depressed over how sad my clothing options are!

This week is going to be a crazy one between follow-up tests, wedding preparations, my FIL's birthday tomorrow, and on top of it all my grandmother is in the hospital with heart problems. Please keep her in your prayers, she's getting up there in age so I really hope this is not "it." :(

I don't think I ever fully expressed how grateful I am to everyone not only for your wonderful comments over the past couple weeks, but for those of you who posted about me on your blogs (I know there were several of you and I'm sorry I didn't thank each of you individually) to rally even more support, sharing my blog on LFCA, and to those of you who came to show support for someone you didn't even know. I am truly touched, and just wanted to make sure you know how appreciative I am to all of you. Thank you :)

Ear cancer and bar naps

I prefer not to be subjected to the vocal stylings of one Ms. Tina Turner. I know she's the Queen of Rock or whatever and most everyone loves her. But her voice sounds like sandpaper to me. Not pretty!

Every Friday morning the Hag blasts music from one of her more obscure albums (okay, I don't know if it's actually obscure, but I'd never heard any of these songs until I started working here) in an effort to spread her pre-weekend cheer. Well, almost every Friday. When her office is silent you know she's in a mood, and when she's in a mood she usually finds something to hassle me about. So as much as I can't stand Tina Turner, life is always better around the office on those Fridays when she's spewing her raspy lyrics than not!

So today I'm grateful for the ear cancer I've just been given, and giving an extra high-five to the corporate gods that the Hag is in jeans, which means she will likely be spending much of the day at another location! Fingers crossed! All in all, today's shaping up to be a decent day.

Bonus! I'm leaving work early to meet the girls and carpool down to L.A. for A's bachelorette weekend extravaganza! I am very nearly finished packing and I only have to pick up a couple things on my way home (procrastination is my middle name). I'm looking forward to spending most of the day tomorrow relaxing on the beach and soaking up some sun, and will somehow get through tonight's and tomorrow night's debauchery without falling asleep on the bar. I hope.

Maybe I'll luck out and one of the girls will be a lightweight and have to be taken back to the hotel early :)

Weekend and weather and such

Ah, Monday. You certainly know how to swoop in and kill off a weekend, don't you? Oh well. This is the last full week I'm working before my vacation, so I shouldn't complain. Starting next Thursday I will be away from work for two whole weeks! One week of that will be camping at the beach, and then I have 5 additional days where I have no idea what I'll be doing. I really should figure something out because otherwise I'll be bored out of my mind.

We're still fighting the clouds here in "sunny" southern CA. The sun peaked out a little yesterday afternoon, but it was already 3:00 by then. I tell you this weather is KILLING ME. It's the most dreary, chilly, awful July I can remember and it doesn't look like it'll get much better anytime soon. The sun's supposed to come out later this week, but the temperatures aren't going to be rising a whole lot. I like it in the upper 70's, but we'll be lucky to break 70 degrees more than once in the next 10 days. What the hell kind of summer is this??? I need warmth and vitamin D to survive! I need shorts and flip flops! I'm tired of sweaters and jeans!

Whew. So anyway, other than the mood swings (haha) I'm still feeling pretty peachy. No nausea, no peeing every 10 minutes, and the fatigue isn't even that bad. Boobs are still sore though. I keep asking hubs, "Are you sure I'm pregnant??" whenever he cracks open a beer - or worse, drinks our good wine! - and I can't have any. But it is still really early. I seem to always forget just how early it is, I'm so impatient and the days seem to go by sooo slowly. I just want to feel like it's for real, and I don't yet.

On with the day! My boss is on vacation this week and next, which, as much as I like the guy, always lightens the atmosphere a little bit. Hopefully that will make for an easy transition into vacation time for me, too. :)

Weekend-eve

Ahh, Friday! How I love you! And how I'd love you even more if I could fast-forward to 4:30, but I'll take what I can get.

This weekend is going to be my last lazy weekend at home for a while, and I am going to revel in it. Tomorrow morning I'm getting my hair cut, and if the sun finally decides to come out I want to lay out for a while in the afternoon. Hubs and I may be going to the movies on Sunday, we are overdue for a date! He offered to take me to see E.clip.se if there's a matinee; I think he secretly likes those Twi.light movies. I'm by no means a "Twi-hard" but I read the books and they were entertaining enough. Feel free to make fun of me!

So here's a preview of what I'll be doing until the end of August:

-Next weekend: Spending the weekend at an L.A. beach for my friend A's bachelorette. No, I am not ready to make any announcements, so tell me this excuse isn't brilliant: I'm not drinking because my acupuncturist forbade it with the herbs I'm currently taking. Good one, right? I just hope I don't blow my cover by puking and/or falling asleep at 8:00 every night! (Or by blabbing. Not only am I terrible at keeping secrets, I am a horrible liar.)

-The following weekend: My 30th birthday!! We're just having family and a few close friends over for pizza and cake in the backyard. I'll tell my close buds by then, assuming all goes well at my OB appt that week. The next day we're leaving for our week-long camping trip to the beach!

-The week after we get back from camping is my friend T's bachelorette party. They will be going go-kart racing. I will most likely be on photography duty and chowing down on pizza. And probably being someone's DD.

-The next week is T's wedding.

-Two weeks after that is A's wedding.

The only thing I'm concerned about is the bachelorette party next weekend, since I'll be away from hubs for 2 nights. Not that I think anything will happen... I don't know. I guess I would just rather be at home until I feel more comfortable and secure about things.

For now, I'm just going to look forward to vegging out for the next two days! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend :)