Ten on Tuesday is fun! You should play too! Go over to the Chronicles of Marla and sign up, okay? Okay.
1. I got to play Easter Bunny not once, not twice, but thrice on Sunday for my nieces and nephew. First at my in-laws' for my adorable little blondie nieces, and twice at my parents' house for my equally adorable brunette nieces and nephew. We had to have two at my parents' house because my 8 year old nephew found 9 out of the 12 eggs, and his 7 year old sister was in tears after finding only one of them. Luckily my 14 year old niece had the genius idea of assigning each of the three little kids one of the three colors of eggs (I think my mom's getting tired of dying Easter eggs, she's really starting to slack), and they could only hunt for the color they were assigned to. Worked like a charm! And even my little 2 year old niece studiously avoided picking up any pink or blue eggs, just the yellow ones. What a bunch of geniuses in my family!
2. Our veggie garden now has THREE sprouts!! I maintain that they are all three zucchini, but Hubs insists on arguing with me that one is a cucumber. Did I mention I'm the one who planted the seeds while he was nowhere to be found?
3. Last week I switched up my bowling technique a little bit because of a sore knee. For some reason I've always stepped off on my right foot, even though I'm right-handed. Well, it was my right knee that was hurting so I tried stepping off on my left foot instead (like a normal person would to begin with) and lo and behold I'm suddenly playing a lot more consistently! Who knew? *Update: I wrote this part yesterday, and last night I thoroughly SUCKED at bowling. So now I know I have no excuses, I'm just bad at it.
4. Hubs and I went to a wedding on Saturday and it was just beautiful. Plus, we got to sit with some awesome friends of ours that we don't spend nearly enough time with, and we all had a lot of fun. I managed to be a tad overdressed for a garden wedding, but whatever, I looked hawt! (The bride looked good too.)
5. I love Spring, but I hate this time of year because my house is absolutely COVERED in hair. Atticus is shedding like nobody's business and it's really disgusting. My brother and SIL have two cats (three up until a month or so ago) and their shedding situation doesn't hold a candle to Atticus's. I did not foresee this problem when I adopted him. I just thought he was soft and fluffy and would be a good cuddle-buddy. Well, he is very soft and fluffy, but he's not much for cuddling. I should have gotten a hairless cat.
6. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I'm not sure how many I have, I've never counted. But last week I overheard a conversation between two coworkers, one asked the other how many pairs of shoes she had, and she answered, "Around forty." The first coworker said, "That's it?" My eyes about popped out of my head! I probably have more shoes than I think, but forty seems like a LOT to me. Sheesh.
7. I get to have lunch with my friend Tracy today (she comments here pretty regularly, so you sort of know her)! We're going out for pizza in about 25 minutes. I LOVE working near my friends, it makes work a little more bearable. I work near Hubs too, and we go to lunch together ocasionally as well.
8. I had this great plan to call in sick on Thursday, seeing as it's Hubs's day off and last week was hellacious so I figured I earned it. But now one of my employees is actually sick (well, she appears to have a cold), so I feel kinda guilty. I mean, I'm still pretty sure I'm going to do it, but now I'm going to have to come up with a really good excuse.
9. I've been slacking on my book. I'm supposed to write something every day, but I haven't written anything in days. I just know I'm going to get about halfway through it and decide I can't stand it. I need to get over these ridiculous fears, don't I?
10. I may have mentioned that I'm reading "Committed" right now, by Elizabeth Gilbert. Well, I read a section of it last night that really spoke to me, and now I'm finding myself with some seriously life-altering things to think about. I'll definitely be sharing more with you when I start getting my thoughts sorted out! Should be soon...
4.26.2011
4.25.2011
Putting myself in check
As per my usual Monday outlook, this morning I was feeling pretty blue. I read through a few blogs and felt even more blue. I realized I'm feeling a little out of place in the IF blogging community, since I'm not exactly working towards building my family at this time, and I'm not doing much to help the IF community either. Meanwhile my bloggy buddies continue to TTC and graduate into pregnancy and parenthood, Bust Myths for NIAW, and support one another with enthusiasm. I questioned my reasons for continuing to blog here, and wondered whether it was time to close up shop. Then I read Mel's awesome post about the IF divide, and I realized how self-centered I've been.
In my women's group we talk quite a bit about being generous rather than judgmental in our thoughts, approaching people with an attitude of compassion and kindness, and generally making an effort to think the best of others. But, my friends, I haven't been doing a very good job of that.
Those of you who are pregnant may have noticed I rarely comment on your blogs nowadays. I've even stopped following some bloggers because I couldn't handle the content of their posts. On FB, I regularly block friends for sharing (okay, yes sometimes oversharing) about their pregnancies, babies and children. Even my IF friends. True, I need to do what's best for my emotional and mental well-being, but I also don't want to be that person. The one who completely ditches the people who've supported me through my darkest hours just because I have days where I don't have the emotional fortitude to look at baby bump photos or read about fetal heart rates.
In her post, Mel explains that the women lucky enough to have made it across the chasm that divides the IFers still waiting for their miracle from those who've held their babies in their arms truly haven't forgotten the pain and longing that the rest of us still endure. In my bitterness I've built this imaginary wall between "us" (the childless) and "them" (the lucky moms). I built the wall because I didn't want to see their happiness for fear it would increase my own sadness, but I realize now that's completely backwards. Once upon a time I almost made it to the other side myself, and for a few weeks I had a taste of the feelings that grads experience. It was something like equal parts joy, guilt, gratitude, and a deep desire for everyone else still waiting in the wings to have their turn to feel that exhilaration. I wanted nothing more than to be able to take everyone else by the hand who were still waiting, and pull them across that chasm to the other side with me. The truth is, I'm the one who forgot what that felt like.
Who am I to believe I know how easy it is for those on the other side of the IF divide to forget their struggle to get there? And who am I to begrudge them of their joy over making it to the other side? Acting and thinking negatively only encourages more negativity in myself, and separating myself from others' happiness doesn't increase my own happiness, it decreases it. I'm not saying I should ignore my own needs and well-being and force myself to be happy when I'd really rather curl up under the covers and cry. I'm certainly entitled to my bad days. But if I want to be a happier, less judgmental person (and I do), I need to practice being understanding and compassionate in my actions, words and thoughts more often than I practice bitterness.
I suppose in a way I'm busting a myth that's personal to me for NIAW - the one that says I have to be a Bitter Infertile. I'm ready to make the effort to remove the word "bitter" from that title. I'm sorry I let my own hang-ups keep me from being as supportive to some of you as you've been to me.
In my women's group we talk quite a bit about being generous rather than judgmental in our thoughts, approaching people with an attitude of compassion and kindness, and generally making an effort to think the best of others. But, my friends, I haven't been doing a very good job of that.
Those of you who are pregnant may have noticed I rarely comment on your blogs nowadays. I've even stopped following some bloggers because I couldn't handle the content of their posts. On FB, I regularly block friends for sharing (okay, yes sometimes oversharing) about their pregnancies, babies and children. Even my IF friends. True, I need to do what's best for my emotional and mental well-being, but I also don't want to be that person. The one who completely ditches the people who've supported me through my darkest hours just because I have days where I don't have the emotional fortitude to look at baby bump photos or read about fetal heart rates.
In her post, Mel explains that the women lucky enough to have made it across the chasm that divides the IFers still waiting for their miracle from those who've held their babies in their arms truly haven't forgotten the pain and longing that the rest of us still endure. In my bitterness I've built this imaginary wall between "us" (the childless) and "them" (the lucky moms). I built the wall because I didn't want to see their happiness for fear it would increase my own sadness, but I realize now that's completely backwards. Once upon a time I almost made it to the other side myself, and for a few weeks I had a taste of the feelings that grads experience. It was something like equal parts joy, guilt, gratitude, and a deep desire for everyone else still waiting in the wings to have their turn to feel that exhilaration. I wanted nothing more than to be able to take everyone else by the hand who were still waiting, and pull them across that chasm to the other side with me. The truth is, I'm the one who forgot what that felt like.
Who am I to believe I know how easy it is for those on the other side of the IF divide to forget their struggle to get there? And who am I to begrudge them of their joy over making it to the other side? Acting and thinking negatively only encourages more negativity in myself, and separating myself from others' happiness doesn't increase my own happiness, it decreases it. I'm not saying I should ignore my own needs and well-being and force myself to be happy when I'd really rather curl up under the covers and cry. I'm certainly entitled to my bad days. But if I want to be a happier, less judgmental person (and I do), I need to practice being understanding and compassionate in my actions, words and thoughts more often than I practice bitterness.
I suppose in a way I'm busting a myth that's personal to me for NIAW - the one that says I have to be a Bitter Infertile. I'm ready to make the effort to remove the word "bitter" from that title. I'm sorry I let my own hang-ups keep me from being as supportive to some of you as you've been to me.
4.22.2011
Happy Easter!
In celebration of the upcoming holiday, I give you one of my all-time favorite classic Easter images. Nothing quite captures the true meaning of Easter like Peeps engaging in unsavory (pun intended! Because Peeps are sweet, not savory, duh) behavior. Am I right or am I right?Well anyway, I think it's funny.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and a beautiful Easter!
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