One day I will write you a real post.  One with meaning and depth.  And it will be beautiful and glorious, and you will be a better person for having read it. 

Today, unfortunately, is not that day.  Today you get bullet points.

• Did you know it's possible to throw your back out simply by waking up?  It's true!  And I'm living proof.  Early Monday morning I opened my sleepy eyes, went to roll over, and WHAM!  Instant excruciating pain.  I yelled.  A lot.  (I'm sure Hubs was super appreciative for that wake up call.)  It took both Hubs and me around 30 minutes just to figure out how to get me out of bed without making things worse.  Luckily he was able to call in sick and took me to the doctor.  I spent the next two days in a pain killer-induced fog, napping on the couch and vaguely listening to episode after episode of the old X-Men cartoon playing on TV.  I'm feeling somewhat better now, and I'm planning on a nice long visit to the masseuse this weekend.
• I have mastered the growing of vegetables!  Okay that might be a stretch, but I have been successful in growing some vegetables.  I have a GIANT zucchini plant with 2 almost-fully-grown zucchinis on it, and I have baby tomatoes on both of my tomato vines too.  Which leads me to a question:  How do you know when a zucchini is ready to be picked?  To me they look just like the ones in the grocery store right now.  Should I pick them now?  Or will they keep getting bigger or what?  (See, I am not quite to "master" status just yet.)
• Flowers on zucchini plants are GORGEOUS!
• Work still sucks and so does the job market.
• I'm very excited about Fourth of July this year because I'm taking a four-day weekend.  Yes, most of my excitement lately revolves around me not having to be at work.  Even having a totally jacked-up back was better than being at work.  But I digest.  That weekend my friend A and I are taking a two-hour drive to talk to her sister about starting a second chapter of our women's group.  Can you believe it?  I'm amazed we already have interest in chapters, and not just the one.  There's at least one other person interested in starting a chapter in her city too!  I shouldn't really be surprised, it's a great group and it's done wonders for my outlook on life.  Of course other people would want to be involved too!
• Three weeks after that long weekend I'm taking my requisite 2 week vacation.  Ahhh... Even though it's forced on me every year, and even though it's a huge pain trying to divvy up the rest of my meager vacation allotment throughout the rest of the year, it's really nice to have 2 weeks away from work.  This year my vacay kicks off with...drumroll please...MY BIRTHDAY!  With any luck, my birthday this year will be infinitely better than the last (ya know, with that whole miscarriage thing).  So far so good.  I am already off the hook for planning my own celebration; my awesome SIL L and my amazing friend A are doing it for me!  I love them!  It's going to be a small cocktail party in my parents' backyard, something I've always wanted to do because my parents have a beautiful backyard that's just begging to be used for a cocktail party.  I can't wait.  After that I'll be spending some time puttering around the house, followed by a week camping at the beach.  Pleeeeease hurry up and get here, vacation time!!

That's all I've got for now.  Holy good gravy this day is dragging.  Times like this I wish I lived on the East Coast!

Coming and going... mostly going

There comes a time in every childless, non-TTC Infertile's journey when she realizes it's time to move on from the blogland that once provided her with so much comfort.  The ALI blogosphere has been an amazing support system throughout my infertility, miscarriage, and even my baby steps (pun intended) into a happily childfree life (so far, knock on wood!).  YOU are all amazing and I appreciate all of the words, thoughts and encouragement you've offered me.

I've come to a decision, though, or at least half of a decision.  (If you've been around this blog long enough you know how indecisive I am and that half a decision is as good as it gets some days.)  That half of a decision is this:  It's time for me to stop following TTC and parenting blogs.  This probably does not come as a shock to anyone, but I thought it would be rude to one day just up and disappear from twenty-something 'following' lists.  I mean no offense by taking this action and I won't take offense if I lose followers for doing it.  When I was TTC, this blog was a sanctuary to me.  I came here and visited your blogs daily, and it was a relief and a joy and a glimmer of hope during a dark time in my life.  Unfortunately, and I'd hoped this wouldn't happen, now seeing all those TTC and mommy blogs in my blogroll is a sad reminder of that dark time.  And I don't want to be sad anymore.  I want to do what is healthy for me and what makes me happy.

The other half of the decision I've been mulling over is what to do with this blog.  I don't have anything specific to write about these days and I'm afraid it's getting pretty boring!  On the other hand, for better or worse, this blog is a part of me and I can't bear to simply shut it down.  At least not yet.  I still have the urge to write, and I don't want to start fresh with a new name and a new space.  The Life and Times of KitVonD was always supposed to be about me, not just my infertility.  So here it will stay, and eventually, for the sake of anyone reading this, I hope it gets more interesting!

So if you see my name disappear from your blog, please know I wish you nothing but the very best.  I am so happy that so many of my IF sisters have gotten exactly what they hoped for.  I know you will never take your children for granted and you will never forget the struggle you overcame.  That struggle will make you a better person and a better parent, and your children will benefit from the wisdom you've gained.  For those still waiting for your miracles, hang in there!  And I don't say that lightly.  I know how difficult it is to wait, to feel the agony of loss, and to wonder if you'll ever get to hold your own baby in your arms.  I can't tell you how your journey will end, but I can tell you there is hope, and there is happiness to be had and life to enjoy in the meantime. 

Thank you for allowing me to share in your journeys.  XOXO