What a week!

I don't even know where to begin today, sorry if this post turns out disjointed.

This week has felt like torture, though in reality it wasn't all bad.  Mostly it's just felt ridiculously long, work has been incredibly busy, and I've been stressed to the max.  It seems like every time I turn around my boss is saying to me, "I know you've got a lot on your plate right now, but would you...?"  Uh, yeah - more like my plate is overflowing - I've been letting things go by the wayside, forgetting things, and generally being overwhelmed and dreading the workday, but sure!  Go right ahead and see how much more you can pile on me before my sanity gives out!  Ugh.  All I can say is, thank GOD for Xanax.


The worst part about this week was Wednesday night, when it became abundantly clear that I'm in need of professional therapy.  How I was feeling a couple weeks ago had nothing on the explosion of emotions going on inside me on Wednesday night.  It was not pretty, and I think I really scared Hubs.  He's pushing me to call a shrink.  I know he's right, but I'm having a hard time taking that step right now.

On Tuesday a series of thunderstorms passed our way, and in the morning knocked out power at work... Which in turn knocked out our servers, which caused a huge tizzy at the bank seeing as no one, not even locations that had power, could process transactions.  We thought we were going to have to go all disaster recovery mode, but luckily the power came back on after about half an hour.  What a relief!  The storms lasted all day, and on Tuesday evening Hubs and I watched the lightning from our backyard until it started raining... then POURING... and finally hailing.  The hail was crazy!  We rarely get such extreme weather, and when it does hail it's usually teeny tiny bits of ice.  This time it was chunks the size of quarters!

Anywho, I am more than ready for the weekend.  Shoot, I'm practically sobbing with relief knowing it's only a few hours away.  I finally have firm plans to go see the Barren photo exhibit tomorrow.  My friend B and I are going together and then having lunch afterwards since it's been way too flippin' long since the last time we saw each other.  I'm looking forward to it, and I can't wait to tell you all about it!  I'm also hoping to go with Hubs to check out this huge haunted house/maze thing nearby.  I haven't done that since I was a teenager and I'm feeling a little Halloween spirit this year I guess.  And Sunday we plan on visiting my new niecey-pie. Oh yeah, and my brothers and SIL and other niece too. ;)

I hope you've had a decent week! Do you have any fun plans for the weekend?

Weekend and weather and such

Ah, Monday. You certainly know how to swoop in and kill off a weekend, don't you? Oh well. This is the last full week I'm working before my vacation, so I shouldn't complain. Starting next Thursday I will be away from work for two whole weeks! One week of that will be camping at the beach, and then I have 5 additional days where I have no idea what I'll be doing. I really should figure something out because otherwise I'll be bored out of my mind.

We're still fighting the clouds here in "sunny" southern CA. The sun peaked out a little yesterday afternoon, but it was already 3:00 by then. I tell you this weather is KILLING ME. It's the most dreary, chilly, awful July I can remember and it doesn't look like it'll get much better anytime soon. The sun's supposed to come out later this week, but the temperatures aren't going to be rising a whole lot. I like it in the upper 70's, but we'll be lucky to break 70 degrees more than once in the next 10 days. What the hell kind of summer is this??? I need warmth and vitamin D to survive! I need shorts and flip flops! I'm tired of sweaters and jeans!

Whew. So anyway, other than the mood swings (haha) I'm still feeling pretty peachy. No nausea, no peeing every 10 minutes, and the fatigue isn't even that bad. Boobs are still sore though. I keep asking hubs, "Are you sure I'm pregnant??" whenever he cracks open a beer - or worse, drinks our good wine! - and I can't have any. But it is still really early. I seem to always forget just how early it is, I'm so impatient and the days seem to go by sooo slowly. I just want to feel like it's for real, and I don't yet.

On with the day! My boss is on vacation this week and next, which, as much as I like the guy, always lightens the atmosphere a little bit. Hopefully that will make for an easy transition into vacation time for me, too. :)

June Gloom

In Southern California almost every summer begins with a phenomenon known as "June Gloom." I'll skip the boring meteorological explanation, but in a nutshell it means that the month of June brings cloudy, chilly, and sometimes drizzly weather to the coast. This year is no exception - in fact, June Gloom started promptly on the first of this month! Mother Nature is always so punctual in my life. :P

The dreary June weather never bothered me much. I grew up with it and am quite accustomed to it by now. Oftentimes the marine layer burns off by early-mid afternoon, so there's still time to enjoy the sunshine, and I've always thought overcast weather was sort of romantic anyway. Well, romantic when I'm not at work, that is.

But right now I'm seriously jonesing for some sunshine! This past winter seemed so dang long, and spring seemed colder and wetter than usual. Plus I haven't spent much time at the beach at all in the past two years and I miss it. (Honestly, who lives 5 minutes from the ocean and goes as infrequently as I do? It's criminal, really.) I'm hoping beyond hope that we get some sunshine this weekend because all I want to do is throw on a bathing suit, pack a picnic and spend a day lying on the sand, soaking up some rays.

Anyway, I want to thank you for your comments and kind thoughts from the other day. I'm feeling a little more balanced now. Although I'm still not "excited" about going down the treatments path, I can accept that it's in my not-too-distant future. Until then, I'm not going to push things before I'm ready; I'm going to try to enjoy myself as much as I can, and if that means focusing on shallow things like getting a decent tan, well, I think I've earned it!

Unless the sun doesn't come out, then maybe I'll focus on giving myself a pedicure.

Which is far less shallow. ;)

The weekend

Okay, so first off, I have a beef with we.athe.r.com. Sure, this weekend was warm and sunny, just like they predicted, but they neglected to mention the freakin' gale-force winds on Saturday! I'm talking 40+ mph gusts. What we coastal southern Californians refer to as the "Santa Ana's" - strong, hot winds that come from from over the mountains to the east. Have you seen the movie "The Ho.lid.ay?" There's a scene where Jack Black is telling Kate Winslet about how romantic and magical the Santa Ana winds are. Well let me tell you something: he's full of crap. I'd like him to explain what's so magical about 40 mph, 80 degree wind drying out your eyes and skin, blowing dirt and debris everywhere, and giving everything an electrical charge. My hair and clothes are staticky and every time I touch ANYTHING made of metal I get shocked. Yeah, super romantic. Idiot.

I don't much care for the Santa Ana's.

But they did prevent me from having to do yard work on Saturday. Instead, hubs and I ran some errands and then relaxed indoors. The winds died down enough for us to enjoy a great party in the park for my engaged friends A&R on Sunday, though. We had a nice, relaxing time, and we even got to use the quick-shade, card table and cooler that hubs's parents got us for Christmas for the first time. (They always give us way too much, but it's always super handy stuff!) We sprawled out on a blanket and just ate and chatted and chilled all afternoon. I even got a little sun!

I took some photos of my colorful soda "centerpieces," but of course haven't uploaded them yet. I'll try to remember to do that tonight. They came out really cute - I just got three of these little galvanized steel flower planters, lined up 4 sodas in each, and threw some ice on them. Hubs and I went to this local retro soda and candy shop (called Roc.ket Fi.zz) to get 12 different flavored and colored sodas in glass bottles. They had everything there, from plain old Coke and Pepsi to vintage style soft drinks in every imaginable flavor including pineapple, cherry-cream, and fizzy blueberry lemonade. Plus, they had every kind of candy bar you've ever heard of. Hubs and I each got one that we'd never tried before - I had a Zagnut and it was SO GOOD! Why don't they sell them everywhere anymore?? Hubs got a Clark bar, which was a lot like a Butterfinger. Yummy! I love old-fashionedy stuff like that, so I had a great time! (Like a kid in a candy shop?) It makes me REALLY wish I had kids to plan parties for, but I'm definitely going to go back for supplies for my next party anyway! Or maybe just next time I'm really, really PMSed.

So yep, it was a fun, relaxing weekend, if riddled with crap in my eyes and skin so dry I could hardly move my fingers. Which brings me to today: CD16. I haven't seen any more EWCM since that little bit last week; in fact I've been a tad dry lately, probably from the Clomid. Good thing I stocked up on PreSeed! Hubs and I are still DTD every other day and then some. He's being a real trooper...or maybe more of a drill sergeant! We BDed on Saturday, and I was so tired last night from yesterday's festivities that I was about to just head off to bed early. But then hubs said, "Aren't we supposed to go all out since you're on Clomid?" And then we had a rockin' BD session. LOL I told him we made a baby with that one! Sigh... I can only hope! Anyway, onward. I have a new, huge, complicated, boring project I should be working on right now. Might as well get started.

Happy Monday everyone!

Pain in the neck

Thanks for everyone's comments yesterday (and today)! It's funny, I always think that So Cal is different, weather-wise (we all know it's "different" in many other ways), from the rest of the country. I imagine it's rainy or snowy everywhere else this time of year, but it seems like the weather is actually pretty similar. Except in Australia of course! 104 degrees, Mrs. Bee! I feel for you!

I finally got a good night's sleep last night for the first time this week, and I woke up with a kink in my neck. Ouch! By the time I finished drying my hair it hurt all over, and by the time I got to work it hurt just to move my head. Sigh. I am so sick of my neck acting up!

I was able to make an appt with the chiro for after work today, thank goodness. Having one adjustment really does help quite a bit, but I think I may have to go in for a few visits this time, because I seem to keep jacking my neck up a lot lately.

I know my problem is exacerbated by stress and lack of exercise. I am just too lazy to get my butt in gear, and too poor to get a gym membership with a trainer to keep me in line! How do you get motivated? Unfortunately hubs and I feed off each other's laziness, so I'm on my own I guess.

*****************************************************

Okay, about this whole "positive thinking" thing - I'm over it!! I have been obsessing over every bodily change this C and I'm driving myself crazy. My bbs are still sore, but maybe not as sore as before. Other than that, I've had a little cramping, but nothing really of note. Ugh... I'm sure it all means nothing, but I can't stop thinking about it and it's starting to depress me. I just know it's going to end badly. AF is due on Thanksgiving and although I normally don't, I'm thinking of testing on Wednesday just to get the BFN out of the way.

At least it's Thursday, although I gotta tell you, I feel like this week should have ended twice already!

How's the weather?

Let's talk about the weather. Why not? :)

The thing I like about late fall and winter is that it finally cools off. Living in southern California, we don't get much variation between the seasons. The coldest I think I've ever seen it around here is in the 30's, and I'm talking overnight lows. There was one morning last winter when the dew on everything froze and that was a serious anomoly! I had no idea how to get the ice off of my windshield, and when I got to work I almost fell in the parking lot slipping across the ice. Weird!

The past few days it's been incredibly dry here. My poor hands are so sore! And today seems even drier than it has been. I've shocked myself multiple times on my car, and it hurt every time! I can't wait for the dry, clear sky to be replaced by clouds and rain, but that probably won't happen for several more weeks. Here's hopin'... Dry weather is never good here, this is fire season.

I am honestly curious: How's the weather where you live?