CD1 (Yes, there will be swearing)

This is why I don't test. Testing costs money, and why spend money when AF is never more than a few days behind schedule? I'll take my heartache for free, thanks. What's even more fucking special is this means I'll probably be on my period the entire week we're camping at the beach at the end of the month. THANKS. Thanks a lot for adding insult to injury, AF, you horrible bitch.

Okay. No more swearing now, I just had to get that out of my system.

I had a visit to the gyno this morning for my referral to the RE. He went over all my IF test and lap results, and from what he said (and I'll confirm more with the RE when I go), it sounds like my endo was somehwat more serious than how the first doctor (the one who performed my surgery) made it sound. I was under the impression there were only a few little spots, but actually there were several.

I'm still undecided about treatments. IUI isn't really known to be real effective particularly for women with endo. Not to mention some drugs can aggravate it. I'm starting to feel more open to IVF, but I am still very torn. I don't like the idea of freezing embryos because I believe life begins at conception. I've decided to hold off on talking to my parents until after my consultation with the RE. That way I'll have as much information as possible to share with them, including (hopefully) the doctor's recommendations. My gyno has promised to submit the referral request ASAP, so hopefully I'll be able to get in fairly quickly.

In other news, we lost a member of our department today to some layoffs. She actually took it really well as she has a baby and wanted to find work closer to home anyway. I hope it works out for her, but of course it still sucks big time. No one is safe, and with this being the third round of layoffs we've had here in the two years I've been around, people are even more on edge. It's a good thing this weekend is a three-dayer, we're all going to need it.

I haven't weighed in for the w/l challenge, sorry! My only scale is the Wii Fit and frankly I was too tired and lazy last night to turn it on. Tonight though, as soon as I get home. I can make that promise because dinner is already in the crock pot - veggie chili, yummy - so I have no excuse.

Let's hope this day starts getting better. Judging by the cramps though, I'm not holding out much hope.

PMS

There's nothing worse than PMS on a Monday. I feel AF getting ready to make her appearance and I'm sure she'll be here very soon, most likely tomorrow. Damn I hate knowing my body so well. I wish I could be wrong just ONE time. Once - that's all I'm asking! (In case you couldn't tell, I get a little depressed and angry when I'm PMSed.)

My weekend was lovely, although it went by too fast. I spent some time with my brothers, SIL and niece on Saturday while hubs was at work. We barbecued and watched Ghana beat USA in the world cup. My poor older brother is a huge soccer fan and was beyond bummed. Yesterday hubs and I went to the annual Greek festival and ate way too much! It was sooo delish. I also brought a box of pastries home... and we ate all of them last night! Hubs kept saying, "They're not going to be good tomorrow," and then we'd eat another one. Luckily (as everyone knows) calories don't count when you're premenstrual.

Oh yeah, speaking of which, today's day 1 of my diet, and it's already off to a rocky start. I bought a bunch of veggies at the farmer's market on Saturday but I didn't make anything for lunch today. So I guess the diet will more officially start with dinner tonight: stir-fry veggies and brown rice. I did try hot water with lemon for the first time yesterday, though, and I really like it. I actually think I like it better than green tea. Now if I could just remember to bring lemon wedges to work!

Okay, I'm off to work this god-forsaken day away. My apologies for my bad attitude; for what it's worth I hope everyone has a GREAT day today!