I can't tell, am I happy?

Well just got the results from my HSG, everything is all clear, or "within normal range. Everything looks fine," as the nurse put it. Then she seemed very eager to get off the phone. And THEN I realized I had no idea what to do next, so I called back. Yep, normal, yep need to schedule a follow up. But between my crazy schedule and their booked calendar I couldn't get an appointment until the 21st. Ugh.

I guess that's fine, right? There's no way I was going to get in during the next 2 days anyway (before I O), and more than likely I'll be on about CD 7 or 8 at the time of my appointment, just in time for next month's O, maybe... Right? Hmm...

Sorry, just trying to rationalize all this to myself, otherwise I am going to obsess over it for the next three weeks.

This is a good thing - my HSG was clear! Come on Kit, cheer up! And get ready for some serious BDing the next few days!


HSG and more waiting

Sorry sorry, I know I haven't posted an update on my HSG adventure. I started to the other day but then hubs came home and wanted my attention. So here it is!

The HSG itself wasn't too awful. It basically felt like cramps, and kind of icky, and I almost passed out afterwards, but it wasn't the worst thing that I've ever been through. However, right before we left the house for the appointment, DH decided to tell me that his friend called that day to let him know his wife is pregnant. It started a huge fight that didn't really end until after the HSG. No fun. But it gave me the opportunity to show the hubs that brochure "What Infertility Feels Like" (thanks Katie). I always assumed he just automatically understood my crazy emotions, but I realized that's unfair. He liked the brochure and gets me more now. I think this journey, although it is really hard and sometimes pushes us apart, overall is bringing the hubs and I closer together.

I don't have the results of my test yet. The nurse told me I could try to ask afterwards but that they usually don't say and I'd probably have to wait to hear from my doctor. To be honest I was just trying to imagine I was somewhere else the whole time so I completely forgot to even ask. My doctor's office said they usually get results in 3 to 5 days and would call me when they have them. So hopefully it's more liek 3 days and I'll know very soon. Otherwise you better believe I'll be calling them!

I think I'll be Oing in the next few days so the marathon has begun. This will be the first "for real" 2WW I've had in a couple months and already I feel my hopes getting up... Yeah, and I call myself a pessimist. I'm so ashamed!! ;)

Oh! We used our fire pit for the first time on Saturday night! It's so pretty, but still not totally done. Some of the capstone bricks aren't sticking to the cinder block base, so we have to epoxy them on, then still have to do a little border of pavers around the outside of the base. I think this is what home ownership is all about though - dozens of little almost-complete projects...


A cornucopia of updates

Wow what a crazy week! To update: Vegas was great! DH won a few hundred bucks playing blackjack, I didn't end up shopping (not really enough time when it came down to it), the restaurant for the wedding reception was FAB (giant lobster AND the best filet mignon I've ever had), but DON'T stay at the Rio. I was just expecting it to be really nice, and it was sub-par. The only good thing I can say about it is that the room was big. The decor was outdated, there were tears in the wall coverings, tiles out of place in the shower, the bed was hard, and the couch didn't look sanitary enough to sit on. My dress was a hit with the hubs though :) too bad we forgot our camera...

I spent the last 2 days travelling for work, training 3 of our branches on our new system. It was not bad, and I did buy a new pair of sandals and a cute new bag to keep my spirits up as I was away from my hubs. I do love spring!

Today is my HSG. I'll be leaving work in T-minus 45 minutes to meet up with the hubs and head on down. I'm a tad nervous, but I figure it can't be much worse than a colposcopy, which I've had twice. I'll just pop some advil and hope for the best.

Tag, I'm it!

I was tagged by Christina!

If you’re reading along with me, here are your instructions: 1. Find your sixth picture folder and in that folder, the sixth picture 2. Post it on your blog with some of the background of the picture 3. Tag four others and leave a comment on their blog to let them know they’ve been tagged.

I'm at work, so my picture resources are limited at the moment. My choices are engagement photos and honeymoon photos right now, so here's my 6th honeymoon photo:

I took this photo on our honeymoon to the Mayan Riviera. We were at Tulum, an ancient Mayan city. The water there is absolutely beautiful! I really wanted to climb down and go swimming, but the hubs had a NASTY cold. I was lucky I got him to leave the hotel room that day!

Anyway, I love this photo. It reminds me of what a great time we had and how beautiful our honeymoon was. Awww :)

Now I'm tagging...




Ouch and other stuff

I have cramps. AF found me last night and today she is wringing my uterus like a towel. And I scheduled my HSG for next Thursday the 26th. **Le sigh**

But I'm going to choose not to think about that right now! My step-niece is getting married in Las Vegas tomorrow and hubs and I are driving out there tonight after work. Woohoo, Vegas baby! Actually I believe that is the theme of the wedding. Step-niece told me to "wear something sexy!!" so hubs and I went shopping last night and got me a slinky one-shouldered, above the knee (yikes I am going to show my knees!!) black dress and some faux snake-skin strappy heels that are guaranteed to leave my feet begging for mercy after an hour. I think I'll wear a more modest dress to the ceremony, even though I'm pretty sure there will be many a Vegas-dress there too. It just seems wrong to wear it at 11:00 in the morning while my little niecey-pie is exchanging vows in front of God. The reception is just dinner and not until 4:30, so I'll do a wardrobe change then.

And what will I be doing between 11:30 and 4:30 you ask? Well I'll tell you. I'm taking my much-anticipated bonus shopping for some much-needed new duds! And I'm not spending any of it (well, at least not much of it) on work clothes! Yep, I'm pretty excited. Even more excited that we are staying at the Rio. I love their casino and have always wanted to stay there - it's an all-suite hotel and they have the best buffet in Vegas (apparently. I've never actually tried it).

Now I am going to enjoy my banana bread oatmeal. Happy Friday!


Coming right up

Well the spotting arrived today! Geez. I had just noticed that I didn't get my usual PMS crampiness 5 days before AF and today it kicked in with a vengeance. Ow! Then there was the spotting, so AF will be here tomorrow, and I will have to schedule my HSG for next week.

Logically I knew I wasn't going to get out of it, but I had hope. Isn't it amazing how month after month after agonizing month the hope keeps coming back? I guess that's a good thing. The hope is there longer than the despair.


Good-bye, weekend

I've been playing around with my blog layout a lot lately, as you might have noticed. I'm still not quite happy with it, but since I don't have a lot of resources for making it pretty at work and I don't usually like spending too much time working on it at home, this will have to do for now.

Well, the girls-only snowboarding weekend was awesome! Although only two of us actually snowboarded, and only spent about 4 hours on the slopes, we all had a great time. We re-discovered that we have the combined maturity of a pack of 12 year old boys and spent most of the weekend laughing our arses off. Oh, and we also discovered that we cannot drive or navigate directions - no exaggeration, between the drive there and back we managed to veer off course about 6 times.

Anyhoo, I came home to an affectionate hubby who made enough progress on the fire pit to be able to use it (we haven't yet), mowed the lawn, and cleaned out part of the garage. What a man! I think we'll be enjoying it tonight.

In baby-making news, I am expecting AF around Friday. Once she gets here I have to call my doctor and have them schedule the HSG. And I am vowing not to look up the procedure any more because every time I do I get super creeped out and feel my uterus shriveling up inside me! *SHUDDER*



Yesterday (or maybe Monday, I can't remember exactly) I received in the mail paperwork from my doctor's office to schedule my HSG, and on it it says "28 y/o w OVARIAN DYSFUNCTION/INFERTILITY."  Yes, with the caps and all.  And at the time I kind of took offense - who are they calling infertile??  Oh yeah... me.  

It took until today for it to actually sink in that since we hit the 12 month mark of TTC I am officially in the "infertile" club.  Boy does it suck.  Then it occurred to me that although I've been sharing my trials and tribulations with my family throughout the year, I'm pretty sure the hubs' parents are clueless as to what we're going through.  So I emailed him suggesting that we or he talk to them about it.  If only to ensure that we don't get any more comments from them like, "just relax and it will happen," or, "you're not gardening enough."  But seriously, I would like them to be a little involved, and maybe be able to count on them for some support too.  Or at the very least just for a little understanding.

I hope they are able to understand that it is really hard for us right now.  I was thinking about getting them some information about infertility so I checked out resolve.org's website for the first time ever this afternoon.  It just hit the nail so perfectly on the head that I was choking back tears at work.  Although, who am I kidding, for the past several weeks I tear up at the drop of a hat!  It's starting to get ridiculous - you know that Carrie Underwood song "All American Girl?"  Yeah.  It made me weepy on the way to work the other day.  How embarrassing is that?

Okay I'm going to try to stop feeling sorry for myself now.  Atticus wants some attention!



Things are getting a bit hectic at work right now, which normally I like. Being bored at work is way suck. It gives me too much time to dwell on the things that are bringing me down, since I'm an internalizer in a major way. However, I have to schedule training for 10 branches in the next month, and I'm a little worried because I also have to schedule my HSG, probably right around April 1st. I'm the project manager for this huge ordeal and my boss isn't going to take too kindly to me missing an entire day right in the middle of everything. So I'm just PRAYING they'll be able to schedule me in the afternoon. Keep your fingers crossed please! I really don't want to have to wait another month to find out if my parts are working the way they should...



Ugh. People are so RUDE. I work in a city that fancies itself to be, well, fancy. It's a pretty high-end area, while the area I live in and grew up in is mostly blue-collar. But you know what? Money can't buy class, and the people here prove that to me on a daily basis.

I thought I posted about this one earlier, but I couldn't find it, so I apologize if this is redundant. But a few weeks ago I left work a few minutes early to go get a hair cut. I was wearing a suit that day and changed into jeans and tennies before I left. I go down to the lobby carrying my suit and work shoes and there are 2 women standing by the front door. As I walk towards them they stop talking and look at me. So I smile - that is what normal people do, right? Usually you get a smile back and then the stare-ers go back to their conversation. NOPE. They keep staring, and not cracking a smile. So I keep on smiling and staring right back at them, even as I am walking past them and out the door. AMAZING. These womene were in their late 40's or 50's so you think they would know better! I guess jeans and tennies are a no-no in a professional building in this town, even if you're on your way out the door and carrying a suit, and it's obvious you WORK there.

Skip to today, I am standing in line at T.aco B.ell and this girl, probably in her early twenties, is standing in line next to me holding a little girl in her arms. And I smell mint. In T.ACO B.ELL! Come on, you can smell T. B.ell as you drive by, it really should be able to drown out just about any other smell when you're standing inside! Then I hear the smacking. CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP. I'm thinking, please tell me it's the kid... Oh no - like a teenybopper this twenty-something chick is smacking her gum, loudly and with her mouth wide. freaking. open. This is why I am enveloped in a cloud of mint. Because she is standing 1 foot away from me (in my bubble) and breathing Wrigley's all up in my space. I was so grossed out, I almost couldn't eat my bean burrito... Almost.

Anyway, just had to get that out before I head off to the gyno to talk about my sub-fertile girl parts. Woohoo! :P


Boo hoo

I hate Mondays. How generic is that? Everyone hates Mondays. Nonetheless, I am one of those generic everyones, and today is one of those crummy Mondays.

Actually there's nothing inherently wrong with today. I have enough work to do, I have friends emailing me when I need a break, people are in a good mood around me. (Except my 3 months pregnant desk neighbor who is feeling irritable, but she gets a pass.) So what's my problem? I guess I'm just preemptively sad that the hubs is going out of town with the guys from Wednesday to Sunday. They're off to Tahoe for a bachelor party, and I'm left all alone. Well, okay, not ALL alone, I do have Atticus Archimedes Aloysius, who will gladly take the hubs' spot on the bed. But you know what I mean. I'm just going to miss him. I've been making plans with friends for while he's gone, but it doesn't change the fact that I'll still have to come home to an empty house for 4 nights. Sigh... I'm such a baby.

It doesn't help that my first appointment with the gyn is on Wednesday too. We've only talked to our GP about infertility so far, and she's the one who sent me out for the pelvic ultrasound and the hubs out for the SA. So this is kind of our first step of the NEXT part of our babymaking journey, and a big deal to me. Now I'm really feeling infertile. But I'll get home from that and have just a couple hours with hubs until he leaves. Ugh.

Well maybe, just maybe I will get some new invitation designs done this week, or at least my sister's... Who am I kidding? I'll probably take my friend KP's advice and rent the first season of Gossip Girl and spend the whole four days on the couch!