Embracing TMI Thursday

I'm jumping on the TMI wagon since I now have a funny story to share.

Plus, I'm really bored at work.

Okay. I was in the RR on one of my trips (well, this one was more of a sprint, I waited just a liiiiittle too long!) just a few minutes ago, and one other person was already in there. This person had obviously eaten something they shouldn't have. I would have left and come back later if I wasn't about to pee my pants.

Anyway, since it's TMI Thursday I'm going to give you every filthy detail as best I can.

At first all was quiet when I went in. I settled myself in the first stall (one buffer stall away from the offender) and went about my business. Then the gas started. HOLY COW. This type of farting I've only ever heard before on movies like Austin Powers. Okay, take a deep breath, stick out your tongue and blow raspberries with one breath for as long as you can, as loud as you can. That is what it sounded like. Over and over again, the ENTIRE time I was in there, until (and most likely after) I left. I'm telling you, it was so loud! Seriously, I was thinking, "could this be a joke??" The BM was not quite as noisy, but it was just as nasty. Like bad burrito nasty. And this person had no shame! I was amazed. I'm just glad I didn't smell anything.

I finished up and got out of there as fast as I could. To give you an idea of how loud it was, the flushing of my toilet (and these toilets are the kind with the power flushers) wasn't nearly enough to drown out the sound of the farting. I'm not kidding. I was trying SO HARD not to laugh the whole time. It was terrible. But oh so hilarious at the same time.

Ahh... I'm still kind of giggling.

On the one hand, I'm totally grossed out that someone would just cruise on into the company RR and let loose without shame (at 'rush hour' no less). But on the other hand, I'm utterly impressed by the balls it takes to do that! I'm the kind of person that will sit there in major discomfort, holding it until everyone has left, and I wishing I didn't care. I think deep down I aspire to achieve that level of self-confidence.

Maybe someday.

I'm not worthy!

Man, I knew you ladies were supportive, but wow!! I did not expect such empathy for my silly problems, I'm overwhelmed. You're all amazing. Thank you so much :)

I'm feeling LOTS better today. More moisture, less itching, hazaah! I'm a tiny bit concerned that my CM is still yellowish, but it is not like the consistency of BV discharge, so guess I'll just wait and see. Thanks for the green tea advice, by the way! I've been downing it in addition to all the water and acidophilus. No one has asked me about my frequent trips to the RR yet, but my hands are definitely paying the consequences - they're sooooo dry from all the washing!

Okay I've had enough of my whining and I'm sure you have too.

It was my niece's 12th birthday yesterday and like all the girls in my family do at age 12, she got her ears pierced. So I bought her some earrings, and can I just say the styles out now are identical to the kinds I wore when I was 12! I was cracking up. But it does kinda make things easier when I'm shopping for her. I just think, "What was popular when I was that age?" and I'm pretty much guaranteed to pick a winner. Well, this year anyway. Next year I'll probably go back to being clueless.


The much-anticipated vagina update

First off - thanks everyone for their hugs and comments. You guys really are amazing, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise!!

Now, I know you were waiting with bated breath, so here it is. You may exhale. ;)

Doc says it's definitely not yeast, could be BV, but that he doesn't like giving antibiotics for mild cases. He did give me an rx, but suggested I try a vinegar and water d***he (I hate that word) one time, then to take acidophilus every day. If I still feel crummy, then I should fill the rx.

So I took his advice, very carefully made the solution myself (no Sum.mer's Ev.e for me thanks). And OMG. It frigging dried me out!! I woke up at 4:30 a.m. itching like CRAZY. Checked and there's hardly any CM or discharge at all. So I popped a Clar.itin for the itch and have been guzzling water, which sometimes helps with the moisture issue. At the moment I'm feeling somewhat better (knock on wood), but I am so paranoid that I screwed myself up even worse now... Oi...

So needless to say, we haven't been too actively TTC this month. I think we BDed a total of 3 times. Whatever. Hubs is extremely understanding of this stuff, thank goodness. I feel like we wasted a cycle, but at the same time I almost don't care either. It's weird. I have many thoughts on this that will have to wait for another time.

Hope everyone is having a good hump day. Only 2 more days until the weekend!


Checking out

I've been kind of a lurker on the TTC boards for the past few days, and for the past several days have been feeling like I need to step back a bit. Like I've just been obsessing over TTC too much for my own good. So if I'm not posting much on there for a little while, that's why.

I'm trying to figure out how to get out what's on my mind, it's all a jumble right now. And please don't feel like anyone has to respond to this, this post is mostly cathartic for me today anyway.

It says in my profile (or at least it did, I might have taken it out) that I am "semi-depressive." Well that's true, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about 5 years ago. Took meds for a while but when we started TTC I went off them, and have been doing pretty well. I definitely have my ups and downs, but for several months now I've been pretty even-keeled.

The one thing that seems to be able to yank me right down off my cloud every time is "female problems." I used to get UTIs a lot about 5 years ago. Then the following year they went away and I started getting chronic YIs for a couple years. And I mean chronic. Every month to two months I'd get one, and they didn't respond to the usual meds, OTC or prescription. Later I also started getting BV, and when I didn't have infections I had unexplained itching, which was probably the worst of all.

It took lots of time, money and doctor's visits to finally get everything settled down, and for the past 2 or 3 years I've just had the odd YI here and there, which I finally figured out how to successfully treat.

But this YI feels like it's lingering. Either that or I'm just itchy. Either that or it's BV. Or a side effect of the medication (which is not the kind I normally take for YI)... See - this is why I'm going to the doctor today. Not because I feel particularly crummy, but because otherwise I will drive myself crazy worrying about everything that it MIGHT be, and googling everything I can think of.

Mostly I'm freaking out that the whole cycle is going to start all over again, and with the worst timing ever, since now we're TTC. And it's really starting to depress me. Hubs and I managed to BD a couple times over the weekend, but what if it gets worse? I am having a hard time drumming up enthusiasm for everyone else when I feel so icky, worried, and down. So I think I am going to take a few days so see what's up with me and then I will be back. Maybe I'll even feel better after my appointment this afternoon, and be back to myself again, who knows?

Hope everyone's Tuesday is going swimmingly :)



Tonight is 'turkey baster method' night. It is going to be soooo romantic. Try not to be jealous of my steamy sex life. ;)

I can't tell if the YI is still lingering because the damn medicine is irritating the hell out of my skin. Either way, BD is out. I'm trying not to let it depress me, I just reeeeaaallllly hate having something wrong "down there." Especially around O time! Geez...

Anyway, I got an almost positive OPK yesterday, so I figure today will probably be positive, or even if it's just "close" I figure, why not? It can be a practice round. Hehe. Not that I really expect anything from of this experiment, I just figure at least this way I won't feel like I wasted a precious post-HSG cycle. And if it works, I'll have a beautiful story to tell my child one day. Maybe I'll even save the syringe to show my little Kitlet... Okay sorry, that's just gross. It's almost time to go home and I'm starting to get loopy!

Changing the subject now!!

Hubs and I have another fun-filled weekend ahead of us. A birthday bbq tomorrow and backyard brunch on Sunday at my place. It may be a bit chilly but we'll light a fire in the pit and keep the mimosas flowing, that should keep people warm enough huh? Then I get to do some modeling for my friend's new handmade jewelry business (she's pretty dang good!). I am NOT a model, so this should be interesting, and fun :) And hopefully not too champagne-filled, because I tend to get one droopy eye after a couple drinks... I'll post a link when the site is up and going. Gotta support my peeps!!

Only 30 minutes to go... Happy Friday!


Following up on my HSG follow-up

(Previously Posted on We.bM.D)
So I had my follow up with my gyn for my HSG yesterday (a MONTH later), and happily, it is true, my HSG was all clear, he said the dye spilled perfectly on both sides. Hooray! The rest of the visit wasn't so wonderful... I ended up having a major breakdown afterwards, but never fear, I'm feeling much better today.

I'd been feeling kinda itchy in the nethers so I asked the doc to take a look (I get itchy sometimes for no reason, and I was SURE there was nothing wrong, but just in case...). Turns out I was wrong - I have another YI. UGH. I'm on CD 10 right now so this sucks!! Doc said to BD anyway, that the YI meds shouldn't interfere with anything. We'll see how I'm feeling b/c I'm really sensitive to YI meds, and only certain kinds actually even cure them for me. I hate to waste a month right after my HSG, so I think I'll OPK and just do it when I get a +. I even bought an oral syringe so we can do it turkey baster style if I'm not feeling up to it! Hehehe. Speaking of which, has anyone here tried that before? If so, any tips? Hubs is not really looking forward to doing that...

The rest of the visit, well... I started asking about what happens next - are there any other tests, etc? He basically went right into referring me to an RE. He told me a specialist might want to do a lap to check for endo, I asked if I would have had any signs if I had it and he said half the time women do have symptoms, the other half just present with infertility. He also said they might just try IUI too.

So A. I'm back to freaking out about endo (if I didn't mention it, my maternal aunt has it pretty bad), and B. I am officially done with my gyn and moving on to an RE now. At least the one he referred me to is close to my work, so I don't have to worry so much about taking time off work for appts, I can just take late lunches. Oh yeah and my gyn said my insurance MAY pay for half. :P

Anyway, I guess I got super emotional last night because I've been in denial that it would get this far, ya know? It's already been hard, but I guess I had hope we'd be able to get pg on our own, and now that hope is running out. Plus the stupid GD YI on top of that... Insult to injury!! (I used to get them ALL THE TIME (like every other month for 2-3 years) and for me they are a b*tch to get rid of.)

Oh yeah and the HORDES of pg women about to pop in the waiting room didn't help my mood any either!

There's more swimming around in my head right now, but that might have to wait for another post...


Weekend update

Well, hubs and I had a very productive weekend. We finally got the fence patched up (from the crazy winds that knocked it down last week), and it is looking MUCH sturdier. I was going to take before and after photos, but well, I forgot to take the "before" so there was not much point in doing an "after." So picture this in your mind's eye...

Before: A rickety, dark-colored, ten foot tall fence, with several broken boards. An eight foot section of it is askew - one side of this section has been completely detached from the rest of the fence, so it's sorta horizontal, sorta vertical.

After: A somewhat less rickety, completely upright, dark-colored, ten foot tall fence, with several light-colored boards patching up the spots where holes USED to be. Hooray! No more free-for-all for the neighborhood stray cats!

Later on Saturday we went to a wedding and I may have had one too many drinks. Nothing crazy happened, but I did get teary during the father-daughter dance. One weird thing though - we found out that hubs' SA test results got sent to a friend's house! We've been waiting for them for a couple weeks now, and out of nowhere the friend tells us he got our mail. Well, I didn't know this, but the street he lives on (on the other side of town from us) has the same name as our street. Not only that, his address is only one number off from ours. For example if our address is 3456 Washington St., then his is 345 Washington Dr. Crazy! Not to mention EMBARRASSING. :P Oi.

Oh yes, and I can't fail to mention the Dodger game yesterday. They SCHOOLED the Rockies - beat them by 12 runs. I almost felt bad for them! Almost. Then hubs and I spent the remainder of the evening relaxing and watching House reruns. Dang, for such a busy weekend it sure went by FAST! Hopefully this week goes by just as fast and we can get to next weekend :)


Ants in my pants

I'm getting antsy.

I haven't seen my doctor since the beginning of March and I'm finally going back in on the 21st. His office is very busy and I had a hell of a time just scheduling my HSG follow up. Seems like most doctors who take HMOs are really busy, especially if they're well-liked. My mom's a nurse at the local hospital and has gotten to know a lot of the doctors around here over the years, and she was the first one who told me that this doctor is VERY nice. So it was an easy choice when I found out what my options were with my insurance. Hopefully he is worth the wait.

So yeah. I'm antsy. I really want to know what's next on the docket.

My latest fear is that my CM, or something, is killing off hubs' swimmers. I used to have chronic YI's and BV for a few years, and a friend told me that her friend had the same problem. Then when she tried to get pg she had trouble. It turned out that however her body had finally learned to fight off the infections was now killing off the sperm. The way she put it sounded like it was the girl's immune system, not killer CM. So, yeah, that scares me.

I know, I shouldn't worry until I have a reason to worry, right? Why do people keep putting thoughts into my head?? Don't they know I am perfectly capable of freaking myself out without their help?

Anyway, the 21st is not too far away. Hopefully it comes quickly!


I'm as easy as ABC

Shamelessly stolen from Dot. Thanks Dot! :)

A - Age: 28
B - Bed size: Cal King. The whole family sleeps on it together (me, hubs and Atticus).
C - Chore you hate: Doing dishes. We don't have a dishwasher anymore and it takes forEVER :(
D - Dad's Name: Harry
E - Essential start your day item: Osis Upload Volume Cream. Don't leave home without it.
F - Favorite food: Mexican
G - Gold or Silver: White gold
H - Height: 5' 7&3/4" (gotta squeeze every last millimeter out of it!)
I - Instruments you play(ed): Used to play the piano and sing. Now I'm out of practice on both.
J - Job title: AVP Wire Operations Manager. Sounds important, but I'm not. ;)
K - Kid(s): Atticus, my catticus.
L - Living arrangements: Me and the hubs in our little love bungalow.
M - Moms name: Sheila
N - Nicknames: Kit, Kitten, Kittle, Mrs. VD, Mrs. Von Dong, Wifey, Muffin.
O - Overnight hospital stay: None yet!
P - Pet Peeve: People who use their windshield washers on the freeway!
Q - Quotes you like: "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
R - Right or left handed: Right
S - Siblings: Older sister, older brother, younger brother, plus 6 sibs-in-law.
T - Time you wake up: 5:45, one snooze, get up at 5:53.
U - Undying love for: Hubs.
V - Vegetable you dislike: Beets. And squash. And raddishes.
W - Ways you run late: If I don't get a good night's sleep I lag in the morning. Getting stuck behind the dang bus will do it too.
X- X-rays you've had: Teeth, uterus. MRI is not an xray is it? If so, add my head.
Y - Yummy food you make: Baked chimichangas, stir-fry, enchilada casserole, artichoke dip.
Z - Zodiac: Cancer/Leo cusp, but officially Leo.


Back at square one

Or rather, day one. Yep, AF finally picked up this afternoon and I'm officially waving good-bye to C14.

So I would like to take this opportunity to share something with you all. Hubs reads my blog of course, and back when I first started blogging about TTC stuff, he'd kind of muddle through all the acronyms to try to figure out what they stood for. He did pretty good and figured most of them out all by himself. What a smartie pants!

There was one that stumped him though: "BD."

So he asked me one day, "What does BD stand for? Does it mean 'Bone Down'?"

He cracks me up.

So that is how we refer to BDing now, since he doesn't think "Baby Dance" is sexy. Apparently "Bone Down" is.

CD 1 on the horizon

I do believe AF is making her grand entrance. I started spotting yesterday and am still spotting today. This is her latest trick. Used to be that I'd start day 1 lightly, but obviously, and then the next day I'd get her full force. Now she shows up one day with one or two tiny drops. Then the next day a few more drops, then maybe later that day or the next day she's light, then full force the day after that. WTH?? This has been going on for several months now and let me tell you, I'm over it. If you're gonna start, JUST FREAKIN START OKAY? I don't need the the whole damn show!

So I'm a bit depressed today. I cried a little in the shower... for myself, but also for all my fellow TTCers, for my aunt who tried 10 years before it finally happened for her, even for all those ladies in the Bible who probably got hassled a lot more for being infertile than we do. And for all the crap we go through to do the one thing that should come naturally to us.

Man, I am a drama queen. I blame the hormones.

At least I know now why I was in such a craptastic mood yesterday (and today of course). We actually went to church (two Sundays in a ROW, aren't you impressed?), then to Hub's parents' house and then to my parents' house. And I was just feeling, I don't know, restless I guess. Not really in a bad mood, but I just wanted to be at home and everyone was irritating me. The highlight of the day was that Hubs and I got to relax for a couple hours between the two visits and laid on the couch together watching the Dodger game. We napped a little, and just kind of played together - tickling, sticking our fingers in each other's ears, etc. It was fun and cute. :) Even Atticus came over and curled up between us for a little while. We had a little family moment, aww.

Well AF, I'm ready for you. Bring it on already.


My babies!

I tried to post this from home a week or so ago, but it ended up looking GIGANTIC, so here we go again...

I am trying my hand at gardening! I planted 5 cosmos seeds several weeks ago and all five sprouted! Unfortunately one of them died, but the rest are still going strong. Here's a photo from when they were all alive:


They're a little bigger now, but no flowers yet. Hopefully they'll flower soon! If and when they do I'll post an update.

And I thought I had a black thumb. Who knew I could make something grow? Now I'm getting all kinds of confidence that I can grow other plants... hmm... what will be my next experiment?



I checked my calendar and I'm about 8 DPO. I'm over the hump! But I was right in thinking this is going to be a LONG two weeks. Every day I'm analyzing my body. For example: I was extremely tired the past two days (I feel fine today, I think I finally got a good night's sleep last night), yesterday I felt a little crampy (but it was probably gas), my boobs don't hurt (a little odd but not unheard of), and I have had zero interest in the ice cream sandwiches currently residing in my freezer. Okay that one is actually pretty weird, I always want ice cream. Still, not wanting ice cream does not = baby in the belly.

So I guess since I have nothing else to talk about right now, I'll jump on the "sharing random stuff about me" wagon! You're welcome ;)

-I'm the middle child. I used to totally have MCS (middle child syndrome, hehe) but I'm over it now. (In case you're wondering, Hubs is the oldest.)

-I love writing. LOVE it. I embrace proper grammar and spelling (unless I think it will make me look snooty), and have been known to secretly go through memos and emails from upper management with a red pen, just for the satisfaction of correcting someone who gets paid way more than I do.

-I know I'm not as smart as I once was. I forget words when I'm in the middle of a sentence, I have to take more time to think about things, I can just feel my brain not functioning as quickly as it used to!

-I went to a private university for the sole reason that I wanted to be in their choir. And I was. That was the only good thing about the school. I hated it so much that I left after the first year. But at least I got to be on the Hour of Power at the Crystal Cathedral! :)

-I love beer. I think it's genetic. My dad loves it too and so did my maternal grandmother (before she found out she had celiac disease), so I've got it from both sides.

-I have been endowed with 10 different nationalities, but I'm mostly Greek (1/4). And yes, gatherings at my relatives' houses are strikingly similar to those seen on the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."

-My cat's full name is Atticus Archimedes Aloysius. That was in response to my brother naming his cat Lebowski Leviticus Whitepaw. He later tacked "Excelsior" onto the end. I have yet to think of a fourth name for my boy.

Alrighty. Now can somebody please tell this day to HURRY IT UP?? This is the longest damn day of my life. Sheesh.


Day 16 in the desert...

How soon we forget the perils of the TWW when we're on a sorta-break from TTC! It's only been two months since the last time hubs and I were trying for realsies, but in that time I managed to happily forget the insanity of the waiting period. And now that we're back on the wagon I'm back to the madness. Only this time it's worse because I had the HSG. Remember I said I'm a pessimist? Well I am, and yet I have this annoying hope that the HSG has miraculously boosted my fertility and that this. could. be. it.

Today is CD 16. SIXTEEN, people! Out of a potential 30 (hopefully 28)! Oi. I don't know how I'm going to make it. I'm trying to trick myself into thinking it's still "fertile time," just in case, so that might help for the next couple days, but it's still going to be a looooong wait.

Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend! Hubs and I are having sushi again tonight (that kid just can't get enough of it), and then we have a busy weekend of housework and family gatherings ahead of us.

Then I'm going to work on lowering my hopefulness levels and getting back to the "glass is half-empty" mentality I know and love so dearly.


Is it just me?

Or does anyone else get really annoyed with inconsiderate people? I know I have at least one IRL friend who shares my disdain for rudeness, but is there anyone else out there like us? Are our standards for acceptable behavior too high, or are we overly sensitive?

Things that have already annoyed me today (and it's not even lunch time):

1. I arrive at my building and in the lobby there are 2 construction workers with a cart containing several sheets of drywall/sheetrock, waiting for the elevator. I'm thinking, A. "no way is that going to fit," and B. "they're probably going to let me and this other lady use the elevator first" (since we obviously work here and have to worry about such things as clocking in). Well I was mistaken on both counts. It took them a minute but they got that drywall in there, with JUUUUUST enough room for the two of them. The lady and I had to wait for the next elevator. I took the stairs.

2. The sales person in the department next to mine, who is only here a few days out of each month, uses a desk across from me. It never fails - she's MIA most of the day, but she leaves her Blackberry AND cell phone at her desk. And refuses to turn the ringers off. The Blackberry rings and she doesn't answer, so the person calls her cell phone and leaves a message. The Blackberry signals a missed call, the cell phone signals a new message... all day long. And she is nowhere to be found.

3. I'm in the break room washing my mug in the sink. Out of the corner of my eye I see the lady next to me grab a paper towel and wipe off the counter, toss it and head out. I reach up to grab a paper towel to dry my mug and the roll is EMPTY. So with wet hands I now get to locate, unwrap and replace the roll.

This stuff used to really drive me crazy, and now I just get annoyed. I think that's progress! But still, I do wonder if good manners and consideration for others are really important to anyone else these days.