CD 1 on the horizon

I do believe AF is making her grand entrance. I started spotting yesterday and am still spotting today. This is her latest trick. Used to be that I'd start day 1 lightly, but obviously, and then the next day I'd get her full force. Now she shows up one day with one or two tiny drops. Then the next day a few more drops, then maybe later that day or the next day she's light, then full force the day after that. WTH?? This has been going on for several months now and let me tell you, I'm over it. If you're gonna start, JUST FREAKIN START OKAY? I don't need the the whole damn show!

So I'm a bit depressed today. I cried a little in the shower... for myself, but also for all my fellow TTCers, for my aunt who tried 10 years before it finally happened for her, even for all those ladies in the Bible who probably got hassled a lot more for being infertile than we do. And for all the crap we go through to do the one thing that should come naturally to us.

Man, I am a drama queen. I blame the hormones.

At least I know now why I was in such a craptastic mood yesterday (and today of course). We actually went to church (two Sundays in a ROW, aren't you impressed?), then to Hub's parents' house and then to my parents' house. And I was just feeling, I don't know, restless I guess. Not really in a bad mood, but I just wanted to be at home and everyone was irritating me. The highlight of the day was that Hubs and I got to relax for a couple hours between the two visits and laid on the couch together watching the Dodger game. We napped a little, and just kind of played together - tickling, sticking our fingers in each other's ears, etc. It was fun and cute. :) Even Atticus came over and curled up between us for a little while. We had a little family moment, aww.

Well AF, I'm ready for you. Bring it on already.


M said...

I'm with yah Kit. AF likes to play the same games with me. Spot is cruel.

One of my favorite women in the Bible is Hannah. After dealing with IF she promised God that if He would give her a child, she would give the child back to Him. And she kept her promise when she had Samuel. What amazing faith!


-my husband grows cotton- said...

I would ask your doc. about the spotting that has been occuring.

Stay away AF stay away!