10.10.2011

Floating along

Oh FUNemployment, the bloom had to fall off the rose eventually.  My first few weeks went by quite happily.  I kept up on the daily chores and even completed a couple of household projects, rarely even turning the TV on most days.  I was pretty proud of me!  Last week, though, that all went to hell.  I slipped into a little bit of a depression and spent most of the week on the couch watching TV.  I'm not sure what made me so down in the dumps all of a sudden, but I can tell you I've been thinking quite a lot about babies lately.  AF should be arriving any second now, in fact she's a day or two late at the moment, and I've been having these really vivid PMS dreams almost every night.  One of them involved me finding two little parentless, homeless girls, which Hubs encouraged me to keep (only to tell me later that he'd been cheating on me).  And in another, my SIL gave me one of her children.  Ya think maybe something's on my mind??

I guess this all began when I found out one of my closest friends is expecting.  She is my first really good friend to become pregnant, and honestly I think took the news really well.  Maybe for the first time I'm truly, legitimately happy without a shred of envy for for someone pregnant.  Of course I wish it would happen for me, but I don't wish it was me instead of her at all.  But the news did get me thinking a LOT about having kids, and how maybe Hubs and I could still have a chance at a natural conception.  Neither of us want (me) to fall back into the habit of obsession that took over my life when we were TTC, so we aren't officially trying, but we are having a lot of sex.  With as few expectations as humanly possible. 

Is that even possible???  I hope so, because I think having a lot of sex is good for a marriage!  That's how I'm choosing to look at it, not that we are "not not trying," but that we're helping to keep our marriage strong.  And in the meantime, I'm back to keeping myself busy and taking on more projects.

And I do love projects!  Day-to-day housework and chores bore the daylights out of me, but there's something really satisfying about working on a detailed project and watching it come to fruition.  I spent two days contact-papering all of the kitchen shelves and drawers a couple of weeks ago, and I made my own Halloween silhouettes for the living room.  It was great being able to take my time to get them just right, and both turned out really well.  I've also done a little baking (which I've discovered I like a lot more than cooking), but I have to be careful not to take on too many of those projects as I've already gained a little "contentment" weight back!  If you have any suggestions for fun, calorie-free household projects, I'm all ears.

Right now, I'm going to go spackle the door frames we (finally) put up so that tomorrow I can start painting them!

5 comments:

Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

You are totally allowed some couch time! Enjoy your projects and you will get into the swing of things soon.

Heather said...

Nothing wrong with lots of sex. :0)
take some pictures of your halloween decorations!!

The Barreness said...

Wow I am so glad you have this down time, and it is totally understandable that with all this time to yourself that you would have time to think too! I think being kind to yourself is the best advice I can give. As for Calorie-Free activities, it is time to turn the garden for winter planting: )

This is good time to think about what comes next, and simply enjoy all that healthy marriage activity!

^J^ said...

Nothing wrong with a little couch-time. Of course, I would say that.....I've been enjoying FUNemployment going on two years now!! ; ) ; )

And as far as "having all the sex" goes, whoo-hoo!!! That can only make a better and happier marriage! I pray good things come your way soon in the baby dept!!!

{{{Hugs}}}

Steph O. said...

The only REALLY bad thing about couch time is how baby baby shows are on during the day. UGH.

Projects are awesome though! So is sex, for that matter. :)