July is over and we're almost halfway through August already. I feel like I'm watching life fly by as one day blurs into the next. And every day I feel more and more scattered. It's getting to the point where I can hardly keep track of the thoughts in my head anymore. What's worse is I got rejected for yet another job, one that I thought I had in the bag. So I'm losing confidence and really starting to feel lost. I am not letting it get me down, I have these kids to take care of and when I'm stressed, they're stressed. Instead, I'm making a goal of getting focused. I don't know if it will help me get employed, but I think it will help me feel more...me. Centered. Purposeful. Less of a nebulous mass of thoughts and emotions. Something like that.
I did a little "mind mapping" (I'm old. Back in my day we called it "brainstorming," but whatever) and wrote out some things I can do to help me feel more focused and maybe figure out what it is I want out of life.
One is to get creative. I like writing and I have this here blog, so I'm going to try to do more of that. I may try to paint or draw or maybe just color too. I feel like when I do that my thoughts just flow, I'm not forcing them, so I feel more "me." And sometimes realizations happen.
Another is to meditate. When I was at what I feel was my best, I was meditating regularly. As a result I felt less stressed, more optimistic, and more confident, even though back then I was unemployed too.
And third, and I know I keep saying this, but I need to get back to running. Running is hard and makes it difficult to focus on anything but the present moment and how I may or may not actually die from the effort. And when I'm done with a run and realizing that "HEY! I didn't actually die," I feel pretty great.
So there ya go. You have glimpsed my most focused mind at the moment.
On Garlic & Zycam:
This is for Misty - TRY IT. Apparently there are studies that show the allicin in garlic can reduce colds. It's antiviral, antibacterial, and antifungal. Every time I start to feel like I'm coming down with something I eat raw garlic. Just take a clove, cut it into chunks, chew and swallow. You have to chew it in order to release the allicin. I chomp down a few times until it starts to sting, swallow and chase with water. (Take Pepcid if it bothers your stomach.) Do this 2-3 times a day for the first 2-3 days you feel sick. I find that when I do it I get maybe 30% of the severity compared to the rest of the family. And YEP I caught the gnarly cold that was going around my house last month, took the garlic, and I only felt a little crummy for part of one day and didn't get much of a cough at all, while everyone else hacked for DAAAAAYS. (Aaron had to do a nebulizer treatment and get inhalers, and Max wound up with an awful cough, an ear infection, and had to go on antibiotics.) I use Zycam too because zinc also works to reduce the severity of colds. I take 3/day starting at the first sign of a cold, for about the first 3 days. Oh and I also take Emergen-C! I do whatever it takes to not get sick! I do think it helps, particularly the garlic.