2.08.2011

A regular gal

I haven't missed a single period since my very first one, not even for those five minutes I was pregnant if you count the implantation spotting that started right when I was due for AF.  It's like my body just craves that monthly gift.

Well, I never said my body was rational.  Just predictable.

AF sucks.  Can I get an Amen?  And not just because of the infertility thing.  It's generally a pain in the arse that I'd rather not deal with.  IF adds a whole other dimension (or three) to that suckiness.  Not only is it a very unnecessary reminder of what my body can't do, but since my body can't do that thing, I ask you, what's the point of having a period?  I repeat: UNNECESSARY. 

I'm not naming names here, but someone should have included an AF-OFF switch in the design of the human female body.  Think how handy that would be during nearly all phases of life!

Teenage years:  Want to wear your new white Daisy Dukes?  Got a hot date?  (Over-the-clothing groping only of course!)  Flip the switch and delay your monthly bill until tomorrow!

Child-bearing years:  Can't afford baby #7?  Your plumbing's busted and you're tired of crying in the bathroom stall at work every month?  Taking a second honeymoon with your hubby?  Not an issue!

Menopause:  Why go through years of sputtering ovaries?  Just flip that switch for good and call it done!

For some reason someone never comes asking for my sound and fail-proof input on these matters.  Though obviously they should; I'm a wealth of great ideas.  This one would be perfect today since AF decided to show up a day early, and I forgot to bring supplies with me to work.  So, dear someone, in case you're taking enhancement requests for the next round of evolution, I humbly submit the "AF-OFF Switch" for your consideration.  Maybe I can catch a break in my next life.

8 comments:

Megan said...

Brilliant idea!!

Tanya said...

AMEN!

Heather said...

What a cool idea! AF's ALWAYS show at the most inappropriate times.

Allison said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA(gasp!)MEN!

E said...

LOL, I'm right there with ya!

Miss Ruby said...

ahhh yes i agree!!

~x~

p.s. thats how we can tell "you know who" wasn't a women, otherwise this wouldnt be an idea, it would be reality!

Steph O. said...

LOL! And AMEN! AF showed up for me today & I have to work. Ugh!

Daisy83808 (Lex) said...

You are so funny! :D