11.21.2011

Expecting

It's been a little while since the Hubs and I have discussed our family building plans.  When we quit TTC in January I really didn't even have time to think about it with all the BS going on at work, so it was easy to live life as if kids would never be in the picture.  Now that I've been on FUNemployment for about 2.5 months I realize... I actually have a helluva lot of time to think about it.  (Which hasn't been great the past 2 months with AF being LATE both times... not that I'm bitter or anything.)  At first it really sucked.  I was bummed about getting my period (LATE), even though we technically weren't trying.  And even though he agreed that we technically weren't trying, it's been fairly obvious that I'm not the only one in my marriage who harbors a secret desire to be a parent.

Queue my parents.

Is that weird?  LOL

I've had a couple of opportunities to have some one-on-one time with my dad since I've been FUNemployed, as he's retired and my mom is still working.  Last week we went to lunch and he brought up the subject of IF and family building.  (Sidenote: Oddly enough it's never, ever my mom that asks how I'm doing in that department, only my dad.)  Specifically he asked what our plans were.  I told him we haven't been talking much about it lately and plans have basically stalled.  After all being unemployed is not the ideal time to have a baby or bring a child into our lives.  He didn't say much about it after that, but later that night he texted me.  He told me that his offer still stands regarding paying for IF treatments, and that he knows a good mom when he raises one.

Queue the waterworks.

For the record, and because it's relevant, he and my mom have also offered to pay for adoption in the past.  So, not surprisingly, all this information got Hubs and me talking about children once again.  In fact, it didn't take us long to come to the conclusion that we want to pursue adoption.  We are really close to being debt-free, and once that happens (probably in about a year) we are going to start the adoption process. 

Queue the applause!

So I guess you could say I'm an expectant mother at this point.  Although I don't expect to have a child for another couple of years!  I've already had a friend offer (nay, demand) to throw me a shower when the time comes.  And I've already started talking to my oldest friend in the world, who happens to be adopted, about it.  I love that I'm surrounded by such supportive friends and family! 

Of course, I have many, many thoughts and emotions going on in my head since making this decision.  I worry that Hubs might not be as happy with an adopted child as he might have been with a biological one, especially if we aren't able to adopt an infant.  I worry that my parents will want to be more involved in the child's upbringing than we'd want them to be, since they're fronting the money that will make the child ours.  I worry about adopting a little boy, and Hubs's family not being accepting of an adopted child as the "heir" to the family name (so far the name dies with Hubs's generation).  I worry about how to handle the potential emotional issues of an adopted child (e.g. fears of abandonment, etc.).  Some of my worries are probably irrational.  I can't seriously see my in-laws rejecting or treating an adopted child as "less-than."  And most of my fears can probably be resolved through candid conversations.  I just have to take this one step at a time.  And right now, we are on step ZERO.  I have plenty of time to figure this all out!  For now, I am just going to be excited in knowing that parenthood is practically a guarantee for my future.

Finally.

11 comments:

My Vegas said...

Que the waterworks here! Dads can be so incredibly tender and amazing when we most need them.

Congrats on the pending arrival of your child. This is a huge decision, and I am sure that the child will be so very loved by your family, regardless of how he/she gets there.

Kate said...

Oh my gosh - that's awesome!!! I definite plus to FUNemployment... Your family sounds so great.

Heather said...

What wonderful news!! how excititng!! keep us posted!!

Anonymous said...

I really love your dad!!! I'm so glad you have support. One step at a time. (((HUGS))) and prayers always, Jen (NervousB)

(Lex) Daisy83808 said...

Those fears are pretty normal at the beginning. However, (having been through the process 1.5 times) one day you will look back and read this post and realize how these fears really should have been the least of your worries. (Except the one about dealing with tough issues with your child as they grieve the loss of biological parents. However, you can somewhat relate as you have grieved the loss of a biological child.) The adoption process is a wild ride! Congratulations on your decision!

Christina said...

Good luck!! I look forward to hearing more when the time comes!

Angie said...

How exciting! I'm sending you great big congrats ((hugs)) all the way from KY!

^J^ said...

I am so very happy that the two of you have come to this agreement. And yes, you will be a great mom! Congratulations on your expecting!! ;)

E said...

That's so wonderful Kitty!! I can't wait!!!!!!!!!

Misty Dawn said...

Wonderful news Kitty!! I'm so happy for you (((HUGS)))

MotherHen said...

I love your dad!