I did something really out of character today. Normally I'm very non-confrontational. I don't get involved in drama and I try never to start drama. And I especially try not to take what I see on Facebook too personally or seriously... but today I was fed up. A woman who I worked with years ago and haven't seen IRL since published a post that questioned the point of a life without kids. Granted, it was in the context of, "Oh, I'm having such a great time being a mommy!" and I doubt she seriously meant that your life is pointless if you don't have kids. But that is what she said and I was in the mood to put her in her place.
Like I said, normally I would have let it slide (like I have with so many of her (and other people's) asinine posts); or maybe just quietly unfriended her. Not this time though. This time I responded in a very pointed and snarky manner. And do I feel better? Well, sorta. On the one hand, I have to assume that I'm not the only person she knows who doesn't have kids, and I want to assume that someone besides me would find her post offensive. Because then I could be the champion of all those who silently cursed her dumb luck at being able to procreate - or at least of those who found it annoying that she was part of what seems like the majority of a very child-centric society that values motherhood above all else. Before anyone else could comment, though, I unfriended her, so I have no idea if those other offended people actually exist at all.
Ultimately, I'm not sure if commenting on her post was the "right" thing to do. Being semi-sarcastic and condescending rarely teaches anyone the lesson we want them to learn, even if it does feel momentarily empowering to put them in their place. On the other hand, because I'm not usually the type of person who voices my dissent in a very direct way, it might have been good for me to get that off my chest. In the end, I'm only out one friend who was never really a friend to begin with. So maybe it doesn't actually matter either way!
3 comments:
I totally agree with you about society placing motherhood at such a high place. My wife and I are also "adult-centric", and get tired of going to gatherings only to hear everybody gush about their kids, as if they belong to some secret society to which we don't know the handshake. I'm sure parenthood is a wonderful thing, and something to be fiercely proud of, but for those of us who cannot achieve it, well, we're people too! We have plenty to offer to the world at large, and are sick of being made to feel like second class citizens.
Sometimes something needs to be said! The fact that you didn't banter back & forth is prob better than if you had. And maybe, just maybe by you leaving the comment & then unfriending her she got the message. ;)
I agree in that I hate fb bickering, but I do feel that if you are planning on unfriending someone and don't plan on going back and forth like J said, it can be healthy for your self to get off. Also, it left me a little curious as to what you wrote!
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