Thanksgiving turned out to be pretty nice. Dad was civil enough, albeit more quiet than usual, and everyone else was great. We had dinner with my family at my sister's house and it was DE-LISH. I ate a nice big plateful of food, followed by a little piece of pumpkin dump cake, and then we were off to my in-laws' for dessert. They were just putting dinner away so I got myself a second plate (good thing I saved room at my sister's!), and then had myself a sampler platter of desserts to top it all off. I don't think I've ever eaten that much on Thanksgiving, and it was AWESOME. Mmm... now I can't wait for Christmas dinner!
So this holiday was my first experience getting a whole lot of attention for doing pretty much nothing (i.e. being knocked up). As usual, there were a ton of people at my in-laws' house. Hubs said there were around 35 people but I think it was more like 50, and I couldn't go from one room to another without people stopping me to congratulate me and ask about the pregnancy. I have to say it was a little awkward! Nice for sure, but definitely kind of awkward.
It's also been interesting to note the difference in the amount of interest some people take in me - like we finally have something in common they can talk to me about. Now that I'm pregnant I'm included in more conversations about parenting and family type stuff, and when I voice an opinion about such things those people don't automatically dismiss me. Do I have any more parenting experience now than I did last year? Of course not! But I'm going to be a parent now so I guess that means my opinions somehow hold a little weight.
Looking back on previous family gatherings it's such a noticeable difference that it's almost funny. Those things people say about parenthood being a kind of exclusive club really are true. I definitely feel more accepted, people are less awkward around me (even though I feel more awkward) - it's like I've joined the human race. And that thought makes me really sad about the way anyone who doesn't quite fit in is sometimes treated. I don't think family members (at least my family members) mean to exclude anyone, but most of them don't try particularly hard to make them feel accepted and included either. It's just a lot easier when you have that most common of all common bonds - reproduction - working in your favor. But it makes me want to be the person who puts in the extra effort to make everyone feel included. I hope I can do that at least once or twice.
Now we enter the mad dash to Christmas, huh? I've decided to do handmade gifts for the family this year. I'm not sure I quite realize what I've gotten myself into, but I'm committed! I have to figure out some ways that Hubs can help me assemble everything because I know it's going to be a lot of work, but at the same time I'm a little bit of a control freak when it comes to creative stuff. I better figure it out for my own sanity though!
Hope everyone's Thanksgiving was fabulous!
3 comments:
I agree - they/we don't mean to exclude anyone. I've found myself in a rut since I had the boys - like I lost part of myself that had any other interests - and so, I find myself at a gathering with nothing to talk about but them. The dilemma becomes talking about only that, and forcing someone into a conversation that they may not want, or not talking at all...
Enjoy this time in your life. If your family is anything like mine, you won't matter quite so much once that baby gets here! So happy for you.
I hear you. Since I birthed a grandchild, my MIL has made me oodles of cookies and had us over for dinner more times than the first ten childless years we were married. I dont think it was ever intentional, I think she just...has something in common with me know.
It is weird, but whaddya do...
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