#2 (Not THAT #2)

Last month hubs and I had a moment of carelessness after enjoying some sake bombs on his birthday.  Cady was with her grandparents for the afternoon and we might have gone just a LITTLE crazy with our temporary freedom.  Of course as soon as I sobered up I did a total facepalm because in no way do I want to get pregnant again right now, and yeah, I stopped taking the pill like two weeks after I started it because it was counteracting my antidepressant.  Supposedly breastfeeding is decent birth control; even if you’re pumping half the time like I am it’s supposed to be like 95% effective for the first 6 months.  Plus with my history it’s not like getting pregnant again should be that easy.  Still, it feels like when Hubs and I were dating and I was constantly paranoid my birth control was going to fail me.
On top of that, I keep having these feelings like, “Aww, now that I know how to take care of a baby I wouldn’t mind doing it again.” And, “A second kid would really complete our family.”  HORMONES - they’ll get you, and they don’t care if you can afford another baby or even have room in your home for another baby.  Cady is barely five months old and I’m already daydreaming about #2.  And DREAMING about it too!  I haven’t had pregnancy dreams in YEARS, even when I was pregnant, but lately I’ve had several.  Last night was a particularly vivid one where I was somehow six months along and just finding out because I was showing (since I haven’t had a period in over a year, which, P.S. is the best thing EVER).
So yes.  I’m pretty sure I want one more, but NOT RIGHT NOW.  Maybe we’ll start trying next summer, after Cady turns one.  And then I am NOT trying for more than a year, and for my 35th birthday (the summer after next) Hubs is getting a vasectomy whether we have a second kid or not.
But maybe I should pee on a stick tonight.  You know, just to be sure.

1 comment:

Emily said...

Oh My, I have had so many of these moments!! I totally understand the panic you feel, which is odd, after going through infertility, right? Well, hubs and I decided I was going to go off the pill back in January, but we really weren't going to try try, just let whatever happen b/c we have our precious Alexander and we were happy with whatever. And you know, after years of trying to get pregnant I thought for sure this was a crap shoot and I was ready for the long haul. Two months later and our second sweet boy will be joining us at the end of this year. So, uh, yeah, life can be really funny sometimes!! Enjoy your little girl!!