There is a chance that Hubs and I will some day have a biological child. Right now, though, I am coming to realize that those chances are not increased by our efforts. Infertility has left me exhausted and heartbroken to the point that giving up TTC sounds like sweet relief, and infinitely more appealing than one more month of valiant effort and crushing disappointment.
It hasn't been easy or clear-cut coming to this decision. Hubs and I are becoming more and more comfortable with the idea that one day, a few years from now, our family will grow through adoption, and I've already started putting a lot less emphasis on TTC. But still I've been miserable for weeks. Until today I thought it was about my miscarriage and how much I hate my job; now I believe it's the end of the dream of little baby A+K I'm grieving.
I don't know if this is a permanent decision, but I think it should at the very least be open-ended so I can try to move on. I also don't yet know what new direction my blog may take. I guess I'll just wait and see, and I hope you do too.