All about my booty

My butt is officially as old as I am.  The other day as I was trapsing about the house nekkid as a jaybird and without a care in the world, I noticed something wiggling and jiggling behind me.  No, it wasn't my fanny pack full of water balloons, it was my derrier, and it was not a good feeling. 

I've been a tad preoccupied with my booty ever since.  Something I didn't expect to come with age is the apparent shrinking of my once perky posterior.  You'd think this would be a good thing since I've always been extra "blessed" in that region, but no.  It is not a good thing.  It may look a little smaller because it doesn't stick out so much anymore, but what I suspect is actually happening is the dreaded phenomenon known as Chair Butt.  Chair Butt, caused by excessive sitting and too few contractions of the gluteus maximus, is evidenced by the smooshing of the booty and a slow horizontal migration of the muscles.  (Yes, I said muscles!  Let me have my delusions!)

My pleasing patootie was my last hope that I didn't reeeally need to start exercising regularly.  I could overlook the slight "wave" of my triceps, the distinct lack of definition in my tummy, and even the ever-expandingness of my ever-expanding thighs, but this is the final blow.  You see, Hubs is a big fan of my booty, and I just can't in good conscience let him keep telling me how wonderful it is when I know it is no longer.  Plus, I have to wear a bathing suit for like 7 days straight starting at the end of this month.  That gives me three and a half weeks to start improving this little situation.

So as soon as I get home today I'll be starting a pilates and squats regimen.  There's a pilates program conveniently available through my cable company's "on demand" option, and I'll be adding the 200 Squats online program to it.  Who needs a gym?  Not I!

The real challenge of course will be following through with my goal of improving my glutes!  Not a rhetorical question: How do you motivate yourself to stick with an exercise regimen?


My Vegas said...

Ugh! I hear ya! Why is it so hard to keep up the butt regimen? I find that bicycling also helps with the glutes.

Happy squatting!

everchanging erin said...

raising hand... jiggly booty over here. Feel your pain :/ check out my blog everchangingerin.blogspot.com

Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

Don't you hate that extra jiggle! Good luck with the 200 squats!

Allison said...

Dude, I hear ya. One day you wake up and you're all "WTF, body??"

I think having a superb vacation in 3.5 weeks would be enough to keep me motivated - at least until then. ;) Go squat, now! teehee

Heather said...

LOL, I love your writing. Using the on demnad is a great idea. i'll have to check out what we have available. good luck!