Losing hope

I'm back at home for a few minutes today because I have another u/s and doctor's appt today. Oy... Okay let me back up.

Hubs and I made the hour drive back home on Monday for my u/s appointment. I was still spotting, but it was still relatively light in flow and color so I wasn't too concerned. Until they couldn't find a heartbeat. The u/s guy (not in my doc's office) offered to send the images to my doc right away so I could talk to him that evening about it, and both he and the doc said it may have just been too early to see a hb. Everything else looked fine - sac and yolk sac in the right places. Doc told me to monitor the spotting and call if it picked up, and scheduled another u/s for next Monday. After the u/s I was a hot mess, the bleeding actually picked up right away and so did the cramps. Hubs and I went to my parents house and my mom tried to comfort me with stories of how my grandma bled and bled with all 10 of her pregnancies. It helped a little, and I've been religiously following my mom's advice to keep my feet up. This has made vacation at the beach extremely boring in addition to extremely nerve-wracking.

So over the past few days the bleeding has increased, as have the cramps. I'm on day 8 of bleeding today, and today also marks 8 weeks of pregnancy. Mostly the blood looks old and brown, sometimes blackish. Today it looks more red. I've been having to take Tylenol for the cramps. So I called the doc's office again this morning to let them know it's picking up, and they scheduled another u/s for today, followed by an appt with the doc. Hubs and I made the drive back home again and at least I got to take a HOT shower instead of the crappy somewhat warm ones I've been getting at the campgrounds. But I'm not really looking forward to this appointment. I don't have much hope of hearing a heartbeat, seeing as it's only been three days, but maybe the doc will have some answers or advice... I don't know. I am running out of hope. I've been crying for days and I'm completely on-edge.

I'm not sure I'll be able to post an update before Sunday, but I wanted to let you all know how things were going. Or not going. Anyway, gotta run to my appt now.


Heather said...

Kitty (hugs and prayers). I hope it's just too early to hear/see the heartbeat. I know there isn't much or anything I can say to help you feel better. Please know that I'm thinking about you and DH. You both are in my prayers!

Rain Child said...

Oh my dear friend, I am so sorry you're having this bleeding and cramps. I wish I could make it all go away! I will be sending positive thoughts and prayers in your direction!!!

Do your best to stay calm and take it one moment at a time.


Allison said...

Oh no. Oh, Kitty. My heart is with you. I hope your body is just being a wackadoodle and your little one is just fine in there.

Super ((((((hugs))))) sweetheart. Here for you. XOXO

Angie said...

Thanks for the update. I've been thinking about you. I'll keep praying for the best.

Anonymous said...

Hi Kit,

I hope that everything will be ok. Some women have a regular flow during pregnancy. It sounds like its more common than one may think.

I pray that you and hubs will be holding your LO soon.

Good luck!

Sweet Pea said...

Thinking of you and sending you tons of prayers. (((HUGS)))

elephantscanremember said...

(Hugs) Kitty, this is the last thing I want to hear for you. I pray that you are bleeding for another (innocent) reason and the baby is just getting very snuggly in there and that's why you're cramping.

You're in my prayers.