1.20.2010

You're invited...

To my PITY PARTY.

Yeah that's right, I'm feeling sorry for myself, so if you're not up for it, better turn back now!

Today marks the first day of C24 and I am none too thrilled about it. Two dozen cycles TTC under my belt, and two dozen failures to match.

I know it was only the first full C after my lap, but I am tired of this. When I think ahead to the coming months, I'm overwhelmed. I don't know how I'm going to make it through another year of TTC, much less two (the amount we allotted before throwing in the towel). I don't know how you ladies who have been trying for 3, 4 and 5 or more years keep it up. Yes, I try to be hopeful and enthusiastic about TTC, but in reality I am lost, drained, and beyond frustrated. I couldn't even work up enough energy to cry this morning when I saw AF had arrived. Why bother? It's not like it was a surprise, and it's not like the tears make any difference.

As if to rub my IF in my face just a little bit more, yesterday this local story (big trigs) was all over the news. Sigh... It's useless to lament the unfairness of life, but sometimes I just want to scream. Why??? And why not me? Why not all of us??

Ugh. I'll get over this soon, but today I'm letting myself have a down day. At least with this massive storm we have going on the weather matches my mood - angry and depressing.

12 comments:

elephantscanremember said...

(Hugs)

You have a reason and a right to be down, though I am sorry you are. I hope you don't have to go on very much longer.

^J^ said...

I am so sorry you're feeling blue.... I completely understand the " pity party." I always think about that when the hostess at a restaurant asks for my name.... One day I might just say pity, so it will come over the loud speaker as "Pity, party of 2, your table is now ready. Pity, party of 2!"

Hugs, I hope your troubles leave with the storm!!

MotherHen said...

I lurves you. We must have the same aunt. I feel like having a pity party too. Wanna join me at the gym?

E said...

I'm sorry she is here again.

I def. understand the whole being tired of TTC and being tired of the dissapointment, the heartache, the everything. Just tired of it all.

I pray you and rest can get on this train very very very soon.

Sweet Pea said...

I am bringing the wine & the beer to the party ! Oh, and some cheese dip too !

As a veteran in the ttc world, I totally understand your pain. You have every right to feel the way you do, just don't stay at the party for too long.

Tommorrow will be a better day :)

(((((((HUGS))))))))

Lookingforaplussign said...

right with ya, girl (((hugs)))

Emily said...

((((HUGS))))

Kate said...

ugh... I'm sorry. :0(

Misty Dawn said...

Its funny b/c I have days like that then I seem to get support from you gals and it keeps me going. Even tho I'm not obsessively TTCing, I am trying to be sure I get some BD. I'm telling you, one more year and I'm DONE. Tubes tied and thats it! I'd def show to your party tho! Dot needs to leave something for me to bring. LOL

Allison said...

((((((hugs)))))) Amen, sister. Amen.

Pinkzombies said...

ack, i just finished reading that story and its just amazing that people still do that stuff.

I'm sorry that yesterday was crappy.
dinner on me??

tracy said...

I'm days behind, but I hope you are feeling better, and here's a big virtual ((HUG)) from me.