To my PITY PARTY.
Yeah that's right, I'm feeling sorry for myself, so if you're not up for it, better turn back now!
Today marks the first day of C24 and I am none too thrilled about it. Two dozen cycles TTC under my belt, and two dozen failures to match.
I know it was only the first full C after my lap, but I am tired of this. When I think ahead to the coming months, I'm overwhelmed. I don't know how I'm going to make it through another year of TTC, much less two (the amount we allotted before throwing in the towel). I don't know how you ladies who have been trying for 3, 4 and 5 or more years keep it up. Yes, I try to be hopeful and enthusiastic about TTC, but in reality I am lost, drained, and beyond frustrated. I couldn't even work up enough energy to cry this morning when I saw AF had arrived. Why bother? It's not like it was a surprise, and it's not like the tears make any difference.
As if to rub my IF in my face just a little bit more, yesterday this local story (big trigs) was all over the news. Sigh... It's useless to lament the unfairness of life, but sometimes I just want to scream. Why??? And why not me? Why not all of us??
Ugh. I'll get over this soon, but today I'm letting myself have a down day. At least with this massive storm we have going on the weather matches my mood - angry and depressing.