Okay, yes, now that I thought about what CD I'm on, I can't stop thinking about it.
Today is CD29. I'm crampier today than I have been the past few days, and my boobs hurt less than they did yesterday, so my guess is AF will be here any time now.
I spent the past 2 weeks expecting (but not obsessing over) AF and not getting sad about it. Today, however, I am sad. I hate AF. I hate it every single month. Sometimes I scream in my head, "If I can't get pregnant, what's the point of having a period?!" I bleed for 7 or 8 days every month, I have painful cramps for 3 days, and the icing on the cake: for the past 4 or 5 months I've broken out into a rash on my lady parts that doesn't heal until a week after AF is gone. All that insult added on to the proof that I am still not pregnant.
I went out and bought a Diva Cup last night. For those I confused yesterday - yes, it's like the Instead menstrual cup, it just happens to be the only brand my local store carries. Since tampons and pads have become equally irritating, I'm hoping that the cup will help alleviate that. I also picked up some brand of more "natural" pads, so hopefully they'll be less irritating than the standard kinds.
I spent $50 on feminine hygiene last night, and while I was at the store I walked right past two very pregnant women. Oh yeah, and all the feminine hygiene products were in the same aisle as the baby products. Thanks for that, Lassen's! That sure does NOT make me want to go out and slit my wrists! (Don't worry, that's just the hormones talking. I'm not really suicidal.)
Well, sorry for the downer post. I'll pick myself up off the ground in a day or two. Tonight I'm getting new glasses, so that will be nice. Then I'll probably enjoy some vodka. Yep. That should do it.