I wonder how many people really think about whether and why they want to have children. And by "people" I mean fertiles, since we infertiles have plenty of time to ponder these questions. Most of the mothers I know simply couldn't have put that much thought into it because their first pregnancies weren't planned, and many of them were still teenagers at the time. What 18 year old thinks, "I do believe I'd enjoy the challenges and rewards of raising a child"? None that I know, they just want to bone.
While hubs and I were on our road trip last September, for the first time I thought long and hard about why I wanted to have a child. I was starting to feel afraid that maybe what I really only wanted was to be pregnant. Pregnant ladies get all kinds of attention, they get to personally experience some amazing things, not to mention it's a great excuse to send their husbands out for pickles and ice cream at 2:00 a.m. (For the life of me I can't get hubs to do that! And he swears when I'm pregnant he still won't. What a meanie!) I really worried that I was in this whole TTC thing for purely selfish reasons.
So on our trip I just let my mind wander. And you know what? I discovered that I have lots of reasons for wanting to have children: I want to be remembered after I die; I want the challenge of raising a teenager as difficult as I was (and hubs was); I want to teach a kindergartner how to tie their shoes; I want to sing sweet songs to put my baby to sleep, and funny songs to make him laugh; I want to learn how to effectively discipline a child; I want to watch him or her graduate from high school and college, fall in love, get married, start a family of their own; I want to be a grandmother; and when hubs and I are old and decrepit, I want to be surrounded by our family.
I don't think these reasons are particularly noble, and in fact most of them are purely selfish. But does anyone really have noble reasons for wanting kids? Unless you're God, begetting a Son to save the world from our own sin, I doubt it. I do feel better having realized for certain that this is what I want, though. Sometimes I get so caught up in the drama of TTC that I forget the end result isn't going to be seeing two lines, it's going to be raising a human being.
I'd love to hear your reasons for wanting kids, if you'd like to share :)