Is someone trying to tell me something?

Well, despite my itchiness, we DID do the TBM on Tuesday night. It was pretty uneventful, until...

My itching got WAY WORSE. I don't know what happened, the only thing I can think is maybe the moisture irritated it more. I definitely don't have an infection (I've been vigilantly checking for any weird-looking CM), so that's good. But Tuesday night it just kept getting worse and worse. I took a Benadryl, a Xanax AND one of the hubs' sleeping pills but still didn't fall asleep until 3 a.m. So I called in sick to work (still itching TERRIBLY) and slept until 10. Yesterday was awful, so I called my old doctor, the one I went to when I first had my itch problem 3 years ago (I'd go in every week, never had an infection, but would itch like crazy) and begged them to call in my old prescription for me. I haven't been to that doctor in 2 years because they don't take my new insurance, but he took pity on me and called in my Rx without making me come in. Too bad it's such a random drug that without exception the pharmacy always has to order it, so I won't get it until today. But just the thought that relief is coming helps.

Today I'm feeling slightly better. I can walk upright and at a normal pace so that's a good sign! I think (hope, pray) we covered most of our bases this C. I would have liked to get one more round of TBM in last night, but there was no way I was trying that again with the way I was feeling. So we DTD on CD10, 12, 13, 15 and 16 (TBM). CD 16 I had lots of EWCM, so hopefully we caught O just in time, but I'm not holding my breath. Next month I'm just going to have to be a lot more careful. Load up on some PreSeed, no alcohol, and just take it easy... And what, cross my fingers?

I almost feel like I'm being taught a lesson. Like I'm supposed to just give it up because I obviously don't have any control over whether we conceive... I guess there doesn't have to be a reason behind everything that happens, but it's been so damn difficult to even try lately that it's starting to get ridiculous. First two YI's during O time, then finding out I can't see the RE until December, and now this, all within a few months. I don't know if I even believe God gives us "signs," but I have to admit it's weird after being mostly YI and itch free for 2+ years. What do you think - signs from God, or just signs that I need to relax? Either way I guess it's pretty much the same thing.


Erin said...

Sorry you are feeling so bad! Hope you feel better soon.

Tanya said...

First a disclaimer that I'm not trying to put any religious views onto you, but it is my belief that God wouldn't give you signs to not TTC, but that when it is time to be KU, it will.... Does that even make sense??

Hey, let me start over: I'm glad you are getting your meds...sorry you have been so miserable.

Steph O. said...

I don't believe that God gives us signs that way. I think it's just a run of unfortunate events.

Ok, so I'm going to figure that you've been tested for the obvious for what the itching could be, have they tested for allergies? What soap do you use? (i actually buy Su.mme.r'sE.ve just for that area) Any food allergies? Allergic to the lubrication? Or, this is rare, but possibly allergic to your DH? Is he diabetic? Has the acidity of his stuff been tested?

Sorry, I'm a solver. I hate unanswered puzzles!