A new outlook, hopefully

I'm trying really hard not to let this get me down, but I'm 99% sure the BV is back. It's been 2 weeks since I was last at the doctor's office. He's calling me in a new RX (the disgusting, messy, gel stuff. YUCK), but at least I don't have to go in and pay another $70 for a stirrup ride. Normally, I would go in, just so I could have that extra 1% of certainty. But, I'm trying to trust my judgment that it's probably not YI, and the doc's judgment for being sure enough of the symptoms I described to just call in the RX.

So because I am starting to believe that stress is causing, or at least perpetuating, these problems, I'm trying to remain calm. It's not the end of the world, and it could be worse.

Hubs and I haven't DTD in weeks, and let me tell you, it sucks for both of us. He's been so understanding and kind about it, but it's still very frustrating. A) I feel like I'm a bad wife and B) There's obviously no way I can get pg now, so time's a-wastin'. Plus C) I am addicted to blogging and the boards, but I have nothing TTC-related to post, so I feel a little out of place. KWIM?

I'm trying to put it in perspective though. Everyone has problems that they have to deal with, and this is what I've been handed. Stressing about it isn't going to help matters, and it might even be making it worse, so I better just get a grip already.

Steph - I think I will pick up those stress vitamins tonight, thanks for mentioning it! :) I have a list of three shrinks that my insurance covers (the only three that were women), so I'll be calling them up today too. And I'm going to start getting more active TONIGHT. I was even a good girl and brought a banana for my breakfast this morning. It's time to get whatever I can under control and healthy, and hopefully the "healthy" will extend to the parts I can't seem to control. It is worth a shot.


Kristin said...

I'm sorry about the problems down there. That always sucks. And not being able to FD is TERRIBLE. We weren't able to for the first 3 weeks after my D&C. HOWEVER, it can be pretty fun to go back and pretend you're dating and find other ways to, ya know... ;)

I hope the diet/exercise plan works! You'll have to let me know what you do so I can try it too!

E said...

I'm sorry you are having to go through all of this! It really stinks.

Can you remember back to times when your infections got better and what was different in your life?

sometimes we can be better doctors for our own selves.

:) Hang in there.

Steph O. said...

I'm glad you're staying positive. Stress is NO fun, especially when it comes in physical symptoms. I hope the vits help. (bonus, not expensive!)

Do you know the serenity prayer? "God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference."

Okay, I know it's over played & kinda cheesy, but I found that adopting a version of it kinda helps. When something is stressing me, I first have to pinpoint the root of it, then figure out if it's something I can fix or change. If yes, I work up a plan on how. If no, I do my best to let go of it. There's no sense stressing over things that you have no control over. (this is much easier said than done sometimes)