Friday randomness

Has anyone ever been so relieved for a Friday to finally roll around?? I haven't in a long time! What a week; I'm more than glad to see it go! Just over an hour now, and it will officially be the weekend...

What are your plans for this weekend? It looks like it's going to be sunny here, though not quite as warm as I'd like. This chilly weather is lasting way longer than usual. I'm tired of sweaters and ready for tank tops! Hurry up, summer!

Tomorrow, hubs and I are going to my niece's Bat Mitzvah. We're really excited since we've never been to any kind of Mitzvah before (although I'm a bit sad my little niecey is a teenager already! *Sniff*). Of course the luncheon and dancing portion of the day will be fun, but I'm really interested to see what the service will be like. I'm looking forward to it.

Sunday we'll be doing yard work... again! We really need to get a move on, there's still a lot to do before Beer Fest. Hopefully it will be warm enough to get a little sun too, my pasty skin needs some color!

I've been thinking about writing a What IF, but I've just had no inspiration. I would really like to do it, but I want what I write to be genuine, not forced. But I'm also running out of time! If I do it at all it will have to be today. Maybe I'll try to sit down with a glass of wine when I get home and see if that helps. Wine is usually pretty good for inspiration ;)

I know I've been slacking on commenting this week, and I'm sorry. I have been reading everyone's blogs faithfully, though. I'll pick it up from now on, promise!

Happy Friday!

The things we do

I'm sitting at my desk with a still slightly upset stomach (but I am really feeling a LOT better today, thanks for the well-wishes) attempting to take a dose of my balls. I'm not sure I'll make it all the way through. I've been working on swallowing them for about an hour now.

You're wondering why on God's green earth I would subject myself to the balls after spending 2 days with stomach nastiness, and when I'm still not 100% recovered, right? Well here's why: yesterday I think I felt O pains. It's been so long since I felt them for sure that I don't really know if that's what it was, but I think it was. And I thought, "Maybe the balls are working!" But I hadn't taken them since Sunday and I didn't want to ruin my chances, so I very determinedly decided to start up again with them today.

And now I'm moaning quietly at my desk. And still very slowly popping two at a time in my mouth.

Ugh.

Maybe I can convince myself it's not so bad. Really. It's not so bad. Only 24 more to go. Oh my good God, I'm only halfway done???

But no pressure. If I absolutely must stop, I will. 21 left. That's right, I just took 3 at a time! I can totally do this.

Double ugh... those might have been my last 3. Seriously. How can such tiny little things be so hard to swallow??

Standing up seems to help, maybe I should walk around for a minute...

Two more down the hatch. Maybe it's the water that's upsetting my stomach? If I could take them without water I would. Water always hurts my stomach when it's already upset...

If you didn't think I was an idiot the other day, I bet you're changing your mind now, huh?

Super trooper

Who has two thumbs and is a real trooper?

This girl (*thumbs pointing at herself*)!

I spent all day yesterday with what I believe to be food poisoning. Actually, I am still suffering its effects, and will most likely be going home early seeing as I can't stand up for more than a couple minutes without feeling like I'm going to fall over. Sitting up is marginally easier. Yesterday was hellacious; I will spare you the details. Suffice it to say I spent the day alternating between the bed, the couch, and the toilet. I had a very filling dinner of saltines, 3 apple slices, and half a ginger ale. Try not to be jealous of my gourmet lifestyle. ;)

But when, on my last trip to the loo before bedtime, I saw EWCM, I girded my loins, whipped out the PreSeed and told hubby to get prepped for BD. That's right, I'm a trooper. Or an idiot. I'll leave that distinction up to you.

At least I can take tonight off.

And now, I am going to try to stay awake long enough to get some work done. Wish me luck.

It's NIAW!

For some reason I feel like yelling, "Happy NIAW, everyone!!" But don't worry, I will restrain myself.

I just got done posting this status on my FB (shamelessly plagiarized from Angie's comment on Busted Plumbing):

"Today starts National Infertility Awareness Week. Nearly 7.3 million people in the U.S. struggle with infertility, are you one of them? Talk to me. If not, check out resolve.org/takecharge for tips and suggestions on how to be supportive, because 1 in 8 is someone you know."

I've been out of the IF closet for some time, but I try not to make too big a deal out of it. Mostly because I figure people get tired of hearing my sob story, and I have you ladies to whine to! But honestly, I really like the idea of being "out," trying to educate people, and building support for the IF community in whatever small way I can. NIAW gives me an excuse to be as vocal as I want about my struggles, and in a way that's pretty liberating.

If you're "in the closet" I encourage you to consider coming out as well. Yes, I have encountered a few vocally ignorant people, but on the whole I've gained MUCH more support than I ever thought possible, from some very unexpected places. And I've had more opportunities to spread the truth about IF, which will hopefully help someone else, even if I never get to meet them.

I won't yell it, but at an appropriately indoor-level volume I do wish you a Happy NIAW!

The balls (And some other pics)

Hey, check me out! I actually remembered to post photos! I figured while I was on a roll, I might as well post some others I've been meaning to show you as well.

First up: BALLS!

Here's the "egg." What'd I tell ya? Looks just like a ping pong ball right? Except for the metallic gold stamp of some Chinese characters of course.

And here's the egg after I cracked it open. You can sorta see the wax coating. Exciting!

And of course, the multitude of black balls. I should have counted sooner, but after I took several I counted and there were still 37 left! I'm thinking there's more like 50 in there. FIFTY!!

Okay, these are the "centerpieces" I put together for my friend A's non-engagement/engagement party. She and the groom wanted nothing resembling wedding-y, but I thought these were festive and also practical! Except that the flower boxes leaked, even though I lined them with plastic bags. Oops!

And finally, here's Atticus with his Easter Bow! He absolutely HATES having anything around his neck, so it was pretty funny watching him try to figure out how to take it off! But it was a HUGE pain getting a photo of both his face and the bow. I have like 30 pictures of his back and side now. (I know, I'm a weird cat lady.)

Have a great night!

ICLW! (And balls.)

It's been several months since the last time I did ICLW, but I'm back! Welcome to those of you who just stumbled upon my little space here! I'm excited to hear from you and also to find some more wonderful blogs to follow :)

My TTC history is listed to the right, and if you want to know where I'm at right now, yesterday's post is pretty descriptive of that.

******************************************

Now I know you're just dying to hear about the balls. So I will tell you.

I had my 2nd acupuncture appointment yesterday and the acupuncturist (Dr. R) told me he'd be giving me some herbs to take home. Sweet! As I was paying on my way out, the assistant says, "He's putting you on the eggs, huh?" Eggs? I thought I was getting herbs! So she takes an "egg" out of a little paper bag and shows it to me. It looks exactly like a ping pong ball. She says, "Now, these are a little hard to swallow..." and then proceeds to laugh at the look of horror that crosses my face. Of course she was only kidding. Turns out the "egg" is basically a round version of a plastic Easter egg, coated in wax. You have to kind of crush it against something hard (e.g. the table) to break the wax and crack open the "egg" to get to the contents - which is a little baggie of about 30 tiny black balls. Those are the herbs.

Whew. For a second there I thought... well, I thought I wouldn't be swallowing these herbs, if ya catch my drift.

I have to take two "eggs" a day (or rather, the contents thereof), once in the morning and once at night, apparently for the next 10 days. No big deal right? Yeah, that's what I thought until I took my first dose. The little herb balls are only about 1/4 inch in diameter, or maybe a bit smaller, but did I mention there are thirty in each dose? I have to swallow them whole, half an hour before breakfast and dinner, with water. Yeah, they're little, but they're also hard, so I can feel them allllll the way down, and sometimes they don't go down so easy! And there are THIRTY! So it takes a while. Then once I've swallowed them all it feels like there's a bunch of rocks in my stomach. (Thirty of them!!!) Mmm. Pleasant.

Well, this morning I took my sweet time taking the herbs, and the "rocks in the stomach" sensation wasn't nearly as bad as it was yesterday, so I think I'm getting the hang of it. Still, I'll be a lot happier when I'm done with them forever. Oh yeah, and if you're wondering what these herbs are supposed to do, so am I. I forgot to ask Dr. R, and when I called later, his assistant didn't know (and didn't seem too inclined to ask). Guess I will just have to wait until next Tuesday to find out.

Happy Hump Day and ICLW everyone! I hope it's a great day!

Giving up

No, I'm not giving up TTC. In fact, hubs and I are going to be bringing out the big guns starting very soon.

So far we haven't given up very much in the quest for a baby. I think part of the reason is that TTC has been hard on me from day one. Because I was off BCP for over 2 years by the time we started actively trying, I had a feeling we'd have problems conceiving; so TTC was never fun or exciting for me. It was depressing and discouraging well before I received my "infertile" diagnosis. To counteract that, hubs and I decided to try to integrate some fun into our lives over the past year. We planned parties, hung out with friends, went out to eat, took road trips, went to Dodger games, splurged on little things, etc.

But all good things must come to an end! We've decided that it's time to get serious about this babymaking business. We'll be seeing an RE soon, probably within the next two months, and we have to cut expenses to afford that. No more weekend getaways (after our anniversary of course), no more pricey seats at Dodger games, and, most heartbreaking to me - no more wine club memberships! I must sound like a total lush, but I seriously love wine, and I really love our (three) wine clubs. Unfortunately, they're our most expensive luxury and therefore will be the first things to get cut. Sigh... I will miss you my friends!

It's for the greater good, I know. I think I mentioned before that we'll be ending our TTC journey in a little less than two years if we don't conceive sooner, so now is the time to buckle down. It won't be fun, but hopefully it will be worth it.

As for today, AF is blessedly on her way out and BD time has commenced. I have an acu appointment later this morning, and game night with my sibs after work. Let's hope for a wonderful Tuesday for all of us :)

We need more three day weekends

This weekend was one of those that you wish would never end. Hubs actually said that he wanted to call in sick today and do yesterday all over again. So do I! We didn't do anything particularly special, it was just nice, mellow, and fun.

Saturday hubs had to work, so I went and got the invitations printed for my friend T's bridal shower. They came out FABULOUS, if I do say so myself! I'd post a picture of them but she reads this blog and I told her she can't see it until she gets hers in the mail. Hint: The shower is "Tuscan" themed.

Once hubs got off work we went to lunch with two other friends at this particularly yummy teppan steak house - ya know, the kind of place where they cook all your food in front of you, light stuff on fire, etc. We call it "chop-chop" for short. Silly, I know. Anyway, this place was great! Much tastier than the place we normally go for chop-chop. :) After lunch we cleaned the house, then spent the rest of the day at restaurants on the beach, having drinks and dessert (can you say chocolate volcano souffle? Heavenly!). Mmm... any day that revolves around food and drinks is pretty much the perfect day to me!

We managed to get to bed early Saturday night and actually got up at a somewhat decent hour on Sunday. Hubs and I have a habit of sleeping in until 10 or so on Sundays, but yesterday we got up before 9! A miracle! So we went out and got donuts and coffee to celebrate. We did some yard work, and then spent the afternoon lying out in the sun in the back yard. Poor hubs fried his back, and I have a super cute white heart on my red chest courtesy of my necklace! Oops!! Oh well, minor irritations. Later, we played some Super Mario Galaxy, then just relaxed with the boob tube until bed time.

Unfortunately, now it's back to the grind! I'm dealing with a little nuptial drama too, which doesn't help the fact that it's Monday. Ugh... 4 more weeks until my next vacation day. But only 4 and 3/4 more days until the weekend!

Game night

Last night hubs and I went to my brother and SIL's for game night. I'm liking our new once-a-week tradition more and more each time we go. My niece knows hubs and I better because of it, which is wonderful. My younger brother rents a room there, so I get to see him a lot more than I would otherwise too (well, when he's not too busy with his WOW raids).

My older brother, C, and particularly my SIL, L, are the only ones in the family who regularly ask about our TTC journey/IF. L is very opinionated and outspoken, but also extremly caring and considerate. We got to talking about my acu appointment and the possibility of an RE visit on the horizon. She very enthusiastically encouraged hubs and I to get on it, and because of that I think we actually might go sooner than anticipated. I think L is around 3 months pg now, and was really hoping I would be pg along with her this time. So was I. I suppose there's still a chance for that, however tiny.

I'm feeling somewhat better today. Between yesterday's venting, your wonderful support (thank you!), and hanging out with hubs and my sibs last night, I think I'm coming out of my funk. Just in time for the weekend, not that we have much planned. We'll probably work on the back yard and clean the house. So exciting!

Happy Friday :)

Bitter, party of one

This C has got me back on the bitter train. If you're having a bad day also, you probably won't want to read this.

I'm jealous of all the pregnant ladies I know IRL, and I dread seeing or talking to them. I am angry at everyone who gets pregnant without trying.

I'm pissed at my mom for not telling me sooner that she started menopause at 38. I'm pissed that she and my sister each had 4 kids with no effort and I can't even have one. And I'm angry and hurt that neither of them ever asks me how I'm doing with all this.

I am angry that it's been over 2 years, three humiliating, uncomfortable and painful procedures, several useless tests, and I have absolutely NOTHING to show for it. Oh, except for the dark scars on my abdomen that will shine like beacons during bikini season. I'm angry at my doctor for not cutting a few inches lower.

I am furious that my surgery did nothing to ease my menstrual pain, much less improve my fertility. I'm angry that I still have no answers. I'm pissed that it costs SO MUCH MONEY just to try to improve my chances of getting pregnant. In all this talk of health care reform, do you think any of it will benefit women in our situation??

I'm even bitter about fellow IFers who get their BFP after TTC for less time than I have.

And I hate myself for being so angry and bitter and jealous. I hate that it takes so much effort for me to be optimistic, and even sometimes to just be nice.

I'm sick and tired of the IF ride. It's scary, painful, and depressing, and I want OFF.

I wrote a poem

I wrote this a few months ago and never posted it. It's been sitting in my drafts since November. I didn't want that last post to be #300, so this is it instead. Just a little personal expression...


We are a family
You
and
I

And through our home
we hear the pitter patter
of little feet
Though there are four instead of two

And we are awakened for early morning feedings
with hungry cries
But never tears

And we are greeted at the door with big green eyes
full of affection
But not human love

And we are comforted
by soft sounds
that will never become words

So we give each other these things -
Affection
Tears
Comfort
Joy

And we are filled with
love for each other
and thanks for what we've been given

But we long to be
filled
with life

CD1

I am fairly devastated.

I try to play the tough girl and tell myself, "I knew I wasn't pregnant anyway." But you know how it is. There is always some amount of hope until AF shows up (especially 4 days late). I'm no different, I just don't like to admit it.

Now to choke back the tears and get some work done.

How it went

Okay, I'm back. My appointment wasn't exactly what I was expecting... although I don't really know exactly what I was expecting...

The doctor was nice, although, again, not exactly what I was expecting! LOL During the consultation he strongly recommended that I see an RE for more testing. He said especially since my mom and sister started perimenopause at 38, that there are more tests that can determine how many more reproductive years I may be looking at. He would also like hubs to have an RE re-evaluate his swimmers, since, he said, some labs tend not to look as closely at them as an RE would. Which I wouldn't be surprised to learn, given our crummy HMO.

Honestly, though, being referred to an RE kind of threw me for a loop. I know this place works closely with some RE's in the area, so I don't know why I was surprised. By no means was he pushy about it, he said talk it over with hubs, it's entirely up to us, we don't have to decide right away, etc. So I'll be talking to hubs about that tonight. He did also say that he thinks TCM will be great for me. But no big revelations or anything.

On with the show. The actual needling wasn't bad at all. He used about 6-10 pins total at various points on my ankles, legs, arms, and one on my belly. I felt a very tiny prick when he first inserted them, and then nothing at all as long as I stayed still. (I wiggled my toes once and felt one on my ankle for a second.) He also did moxabustion, which apparently is supposed to be helpful for endo. Basically it looks like a tiny square piece of cardboard with adhesive on one side and what looks like a quarter inch of a stick of incense sticking out of the other. He lit several and stuck them on my legs and tummy too. That was the only somewhat painful part - I had to tell him when it started to get hot so he could take them off, and I may have waited a tiny bit too long a couple of times! Oops. No burns or anything, it just got hot! At the end he told me he would normally recommend herbs, but since I'm still waiting for AF that we'll hold off on those until next week. Oh, but he did tell me that Royal Jelly was a great supplement, and also suggested green-foods supplements like spirulina or chlorella (blue-green algae I think?).

So what's the verdict? Well, nothing huge! I do feel less tense and anxious than before I went in, less depressed too. And I just noticed my neck is noticeably less sore than it was earlier, so that's pretty darn cool. I'll be going back again next Tuesday; hubs and I unofficially decided to commit to about 6 months, and I want to give it a fair shot.

I guess that's about it unless you have questions :)

Acupuncture today

...And still no AF. My boobs are a lot somewhat less sore than they were yesterday, so hopefully that means she'll be on her wicked way soon. ETA - they've also been SUPER itchy the past 2 days! WTH?? (Can you tell I am going back and forth between hope and despair?)

I toyed with the idea of testing again today, in case acupuncture could cause problems on the VERY off chance it was positive... but I didn't. I was super depressed this morning and didn't want to make it worse. I figure I'll just tell the doctor (acu) what's going on and see what he says.

By the way, I have a newfound respect for women with irregular cycles. I'm only 3 days late and already going crazy, my heart goes out to those who wait weeks for AF to show up! Plus this is about the worst PMS ever, emotionally speaking. I am flat-out depressed. Almost numb, but not quite. It's super.

Anyway, my appointment is at noon PDT. Hopefully I'll feel loads better after that, but either way I'll let you know how it goes this afternoon.

A case of the Mondays

It's day 30 and this freakin' C can end any time now!

I tested yesterday morning at 5:30 with FMU and a cheapie dip stick HPT from the web. I stared and stared at that sucker but, as per usual, there wasn't even a hint of a shadow of a part of a line. So I went back to bed and cried.

This was the first C in a while that I really thought I could be pg. Even though AF is a little late, I'm convinced she will be here. There's no point deluding myself otherwise. Yes, I'm very regular and she usually shows up between days 27-29, but I have had odd 31-32 day C's before. And I figure the Clomid could be jacking with me too. So I will continue to wait without hope.

Hubs and I had a nice weekend regardless. The wedding Saturday was beautiful and we danced our shoes off all night. Both of us were exhausted yesterday, and enjoyed a mellow lunch with my family celebrating my mom's 60th birthday. Afterwards we went home and played Ma.rio Ga.laxy on the Wii. (Fun game!)

Last week hubs and I scheduled some vacation time, and I'm just itching to take it. We're taking 3 days off next month for our anniversary and we'll probably go back up to the central coast for wine tasting. Either that or Vegas. Then in July we're going camping at the beach with hubs' family for an entire week. Normally we only go for 3 or 4 days, so we're super excited to have a WHOLE WEEK of doing nothing but lying on the beach, reading, eating and drinking margaritas to look forward to. I also took off an additional week in July because I have to take 2 weeks off in a row at my work. Hubs took a few extra days too so we can celebrate my birthday the week before we go camping.

Sorry I'm boring today. I just want stupid AF to get here so I can close the stupid book on this stupid C already. It's bringing me down! Oh well. Acupuncture tomorrow. Maybe that will open up the flood gates if she hasn't shown up by then.

Quickie

CD29. B.F.N.

:(

My morning, the weekend, and unconditional surrender

Atticus is on my sh*t list today. (Yeah, Lent is over and I'm already back to my old bad habits and sailor mouth. But I have cut back a lot on my swearing, overall.) He likes to watch me iron, something about the back and forth motion and the cord wiggling around simply fascinates him. He'll sit on this little cabinet right next to the ironing board and just stare.

And sometimes, get really wound up.

And his pupils get dialated.

And his tail starts flipping around all crazy-like.

Normally I'm able to stop him and kick him out of the room before any of us get hurt, but not today. Today my hand was right in front of him while he was getting agitated, so he sank his claws into it! I'm now the proud owner of a bright red, bleeding, 2 and a half inch scratch from my pinky almost to my wrist. (I know it's 2.5 inches because I'm a dork and I measured. And if you don't think 2.5 inches is a long scratch, then check your ruler, cuz it is!)

Owiiiiie!

So I'm in a bad mood today. I was 10 minute late to work, I feel AF heading my direction, and the back of my hand stings! Boo-hoo.

But it's Friday, and I will somehow muddle through.

In addition to the wedding this weekend (for which I still have no idea what to wear), we're also celebrating my mom's 60th birthday on Sunday. My brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews and me and hubs are all heading to my parents' house for lunch, catered by our favorite Mexican restaurant. Yum! And tonight hubs and I may be heading downtown to watch a friend's band play (R, of the engaged couple A&R). I swear he's going to be famous one day, he's an amazing musician. Should be fun.

Final thought: I'm going to try not to think about this C anymore. It's all fine and dandy to be optimistic and hopeful the first 3 weeks of my cycle, but that's about all I can muster! I only have about one cup left of my optimism tea and I don't think it's gonna do the trick today. So bring it on AF, I surrender.

Watch my head spin off my neck!

Oh my goodness. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out.

It's CD26 out of 28-ish.

You know me, I don't do HPTs. My cycles are way too regular, and I am way too tightly wound to start testing before AF is late. But I am reeeeally tempted this C. Two more days until AF is due. I still have a bunch more CM than usual, but I'm starting to wonder if it's just the Clomid causing it. Anyone experienced that with Clomid before? If I can just keep thinking that's it, I can manage to wait until Saturday to test. I need that level of realism to keep me from leaving work to buy a FRER right this second. As it is I'm feeling up my boobs every half hour - does it hurt on top? Under my arms? Anywhere? Not really... well, if I squeeze too hard, then yes...

Jeez I really hope no one catches me doing that!

I feel very period-y today, slightly crampy, and just like... full. Who knows, maybe I'll start a day early like last C. Whatever. My motto is better early than late if AF is coming anyway.

Ugh. I'm all over the place. How is it possible to feel this many emotions at the same time?????

Moving on...

I found out some of our friends hired a limo to take us to and from the wedding we're going to on Saturday. I thought it was really nice of them to include us. The wedding is just far enough away to make transportation a hassle if we want to drink (which, if I get a BFN, I will definitely be doing) and it's not terribly expensive for the convenience of the limo, so I'm looking forward to that.

My brother and SIL are also going to the wedding, as the groom is my SIL's cousin. And my brother actually dated the bride briefly right after HS. We live in the biggest small town ever, there are over 100,000 people here, but somehow everyone still knows everyone else. I think it's fun that our friends, the bride and groom, are going to sort of be family now too!

Okay that took my mind off my uterus for 2 minutes, now to figure out how to get through the rest of the day!

It's almost Friday, hooray!

My semi-psychic powers

I have this theory that I'm a little bit psychic. I get "feelings" about certain things. It's probably just standard-issue intuition, but it's fun thinking I have a tiny bit of ESP.

Mostly my feelings are limited to unimportant things. Like, I can usually tell if the Dodgers are going to win a given game. It has also worked for football games, which I rarely watch. But there have been two or three times I've had strong feelings about some IFers getting pregnant, and I was right. (I also have a very strong feeling that my SIL is carrying a boy, and I never guess baby gender right, but I've also never had a feeling about it, so we'll see in a couple months...)

Not surprisingly, I can't force the feelings; it either happens or it doesn't. And I can't really try to "ask" it anything either. Like, "Will I get pregnant this month?" usually yields me nothing.

But I've always had a feeling that I will eventually get pregnant. I don't know when or how, but I feel like it's out there. Of course, I've been wrong before. And it seems like the more I think about it, the less I feel sure of it. It's sometimes hard to tell if I just really, really want (or don't want) something to happen or if it's actually intuition, or premonition, or what have you.

Anyway, I'm ready for this 1WW to be over now. I'm analyzing everything and making myself crazy. Today for example - my boobs don't hurt, I still have a bunch of lotiony/creamy CM (it didn't dry up like I previously thought), and I am irritable as hell. Oh and I think I have some cramps forming now, a couple days later than usual. I want to believe some of these are good signs, but who knows? And I have a feeling that I WILL be starting acupuncture for fertility next week, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high.

Then again, maybe my "feelings" don't mean anything at all!

Hell week

Dude. If there's anything worse than the 2WW, I'd like to submit the 1WW for your consideration. At this point I know I have already Oed, it's CD 24 after all, so even though we're still DTD regularly I know I'm just killing time. If it's happened, it's happened. And I won't know until Saturday if it has.

I have no "signs" of either AF or the absence thereof. My boobs are not sore, though most months I'd be hurting for about a week by now. If I was new to TTC I'd be tempted to take that as a sign, but I know it has happened before. I was having a ton of lotiony CM for the past several days, but that seems to be drying up now. I'm gassy and bloated today, you're welcome for that little tidbit! And I haven't really had any cramps to speak of yet. I know, that's not much to work with. I wish there was a definitive sign where we'd know instantly that conception and implantation have occurred! It would sure save us a lot of trouble, not to mention the money we wouldn't have to spend on HPTs.

The BEST part [insert sarcasm here] about this C is that if AF shows up, she will undoubtedly do so before (or *gasp* during) the wedding hubs and I are attending on Saturday. GREAT! She sure knows how to make an appearance...

Until then, I'll be going a little crazy waiting...

Acupuncture & Easter

I've been dragging my feet on this whole acupuncture business. As of this weekend I still hadn't called the 4th place back to get their prices, which means I hadn't picked an acupuncturist, much less made that first appointment. What is my problem? I honestly don't know.

Saturday I had a little meltdown (possibly fueled by my lunchtime margarita consumption). I was convinced that this C would be another bust, even though there's no way I could know that yet, it was only CD21. Then I didn't think hubs was being sympathetic enough, so I told him we should just stop trying. I was being a baby. But hubs was great. He sat down and talked me through our TTC options, even going so far as to ask if I wanted to just go to an RE and put it all on a credit card. In the end, he told me he really wanted me to go to the place that we refer to as the "fancy" acupuncturist - the one right by my work that specializes in fertility (in fact, I'm not sure they even treat anything else). The acupuncturist there is a doctor, whereas most only have their master's degrees; his assistant was really nice and helpful when I spoke with her too. Both hubs and I had a really good feeling about this place from the beginning, so we decided that would be it. No more procrastinating. I called this morning and got an appointment for next Tuesday at lunch. Please keep your fingers crossed :)

Our Easter was pretty good. We went to church in the morning, followed by brunch at the in-laws' house. That was fun, hubs and I got to hide eggs for our two little nieces (ages 4 and 19 months) for the first time. It was adorable! Afterwards we took a breather at home, then headed to my parents' for dinner and more kiddie fun with my brother's 20 month old daughter. She was in rare form, all bouncy and talkative, so that was fun too. I ate waaaaay too much and was about comatose by the time we got home, but it was worth it! The food was so good!

And here we are back at Monday. And could this day BE anymore Monday?? (You see that? I'm channeling Chandler Bing.) It's dark and rainy and dreary, and I have absolutely zero motivation to work on my soul-draining reports. But, work on them I must. So I'm off! Here's hoping for a quick and painless start to this week!

So sleepy

Final results of the poll: 37% of you suggested I wake up when hubs got home and DTD then, 37% said to wake up extra early this morning to BD, and 25% said to drive to his work for a quickie (FYI - one of the votes for a work quickie was hubs). My interpretation of these neck-and-neck results are that half of you are morning people and half of you are night owls. And of course, hubs just wanted sex sooner. So what type am I?

Is the suspense killing you? ;)

I ended up going to bed at 10:00 and waking up to DTD when hubs got home around 1:00 a.m. I wouldn't say I'm a night owl, but I'd rather sleep until I HAVE to get up. Plus I'm just not a huge fan of morning sex.

As sleepy as I am today, I feel horrible for hubs who left for work at the same time I did this morning. He must have had about 4 hours of sleep. Luckily he only has to work for a few hours today, then he can head home and go back to bed.

Anyway, HOORAY FOR FRIDAY! I just hope it doesn't drag as much as I'm afraid it will!

Tomorrow I'm meeting up with a friend I haven't seen in a while for lunch and margaritas at a favorite Mexican restaurant that hubs never wants to take me to. (Was that a run-on sentence? I don't care.) After that I think the plan is to spend the afternoon relaxing at home. Maybe hubs and I will have date night. We'll see where the wind blows us.

Sunday we're having Easter brunch with the in-laws and dinner with my family. Free food is always appreciated, so that will be nice! Maybe I'll get REALLY lucky and my MIL won't make us hunt for our Easter baskets this year. Don't laugh! Okay you can laugh. It is pretty silly that she not only still makes us all baskets but she also hides them. To be fair, my mom still gives us Easter baskets too, sans hunting. I don't know why they think we need (or want) all that candy, but it's a nice gesture!

I swear I am going to fall asleep on my keyboard today. Not because I am THAT tired, but because I'm tired, plus I'm working on my never-ending first-of-the-month reports. There's only so much excel a person can look at before they start drooling and going cross-eyed.

Okay for realsies now, I'm done. Have a great weekend!

Almost perfect!

Like I said, hubs and I are on the EOD BD schedule, and we should be DTD today (CD 19). But I neglected to take into consideration the fact that he's working a totally jacked up schedule today! His company is going through a merger and they're having all the computers in their branch replaced tonight. Hubs is working 4:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. to test all of the computers. (Meanwhile I was planning to meet up with a friend for bowling night.) Then he goes back in tomorrow morning at 7:30 for a few hours to do some more conversion work.

So I've put up a poll to ask you fine ladies WTH I should do! Please tell me! Feel free to offer other suggestions too!

Never a dull moment in the life of a TTCer, huh? ;)