Some good news

I referred a friend for a position at the company that I work for, and I found out today that they offered her the job and she accepted! She starts in a couple of weeks.

I'm so happy for her! She totally deserves it, and I know she'll do a great job. HR has been excited about her since they first saw her resume, so I really think it's going to be a good fit.

The icing on the cake - my company offers very nice employee referral bonuses, and I already know exactly how I'm going to spend mine. On acupuncture of course! After taxes it will pay for about 2+ months of treatments. Not too shabby! (But DANG those bonus taxes!!)

Is it just me or is this C DRAGGING? It's only CD 18, and we're still DTD EOD. I will say it's been nice not worrying about timing so much though. As long as we do it every other day until AF there's no way we should miss the window. I might just do this every month!

That'll teach me

I completely forgot to check my calendar before going home last night, and that's the LAST time I'm going to let that happen! I drove to work thinking that something was going to go horribly wrong today, but I didn't know what. Then, when I got to my desk, I checked to see what was on the docket... and it's my anniversary luncheon. With the head of HR and the CEO and about 20 other employees of various rank. And guess whether I'm: a. Wearing the ugliest, most non-AVP-looking outfit of all time, b. Out of dress code, or c. All of the above. That's right - C!

Lucky for me I have the most AWESOME, AMAZING, SEXY husband ever, who is definitely going to get some hot action tonight (are you reading this, honey??) for agreeing to drive the 25 miles each way to bring me a different outfit on his day off!

Whew! Seriously, I am thanking my lucky stars right now for him!

The weekend

Okay, so first off, I have a beef with we.athe.r.com. Sure, this weekend was warm and sunny, just like they predicted, but they neglected to mention the freakin' gale-force winds on Saturday! I'm talking 40+ mph gusts. What we coastal southern Californians refer to as the "Santa Ana's" - strong, hot winds that come from from over the mountains to the east. Have you seen the movie "The Ho.lid.ay?" There's a scene where Jack Black is telling Kate Winslet about how romantic and magical the Santa Ana winds are. Well let me tell you something: he's full of crap. I'd like him to explain what's so magical about 40 mph, 80 degree wind drying out your eyes and skin, blowing dirt and debris everywhere, and giving everything an electrical charge. My hair and clothes are staticky and every time I touch ANYTHING made of metal I get shocked. Yeah, super romantic. Idiot.

I don't much care for the Santa Ana's.

But they did prevent me from having to do yard work on Saturday. Instead, hubs and I ran some errands and then relaxed indoors. The winds died down enough for us to enjoy a great party in the park for my engaged friends A&R on Sunday, though. We had a nice, relaxing time, and we even got to use the quick-shade, card table and cooler that hubs's parents got us for Christmas for the first time. (They always give us way too much, but it's always super handy stuff!) We sprawled out on a blanket and just ate and chatted and chilled all afternoon. I even got a little sun!

I took some photos of my colorful soda "centerpieces," but of course haven't uploaded them yet. I'll try to remember to do that tonight. They came out really cute - I just got three of these little galvanized steel flower planters, lined up 4 sodas in each, and threw some ice on them. Hubs and I went to this local retro soda and candy shop (called Roc.ket Fi.zz) to get 12 different flavored and colored sodas in glass bottles. They had everything there, from plain old Coke and Pepsi to vintage style soft drinks in every imaginable flavor including pineapple, cherry-cream, and fizzy blueberry lemonade. Plus, they had every kind of candy bar you've ever heard of. Hubs and I each got one that we'd never tried before - I had a Zagnut and it was SO GOOD! Why don't they sell them everywhere anymore?? Hubs got a Clark bar, which was a lot like a Butterfinger. Yummy! I love old-fashionedy stuff like that, so I had a great time! (Like a kid in a candy shop?) It makes me REALLY wish I had kids to plan parties for, but I'm definitely going to go back for supplies for my next party anyway! Or maybe just next time I'm really, really PMSed.

So yep, it was a fun, relaxing weekend, if riddled with crap in my eyes and skin so dry I could hardly move my fingers. Which brings me to today: CD16. I haven't seen any more EWCM since that little bit last week; in fact I've been a tad dry lately, probably from the Clomid. Good thing I stocked up on PreSeed! Hubs and I are still DTD every other day and then some. He's being a real trooper...or maybe more of a drill sergeant! We BDed on Saturday, and I was so tired last night from yesterday's festivities that I was about to just head off to bed early. But then hubs said, "Aren't we supposed to go all out since you're on Clomid?" And then we had a rockin' BD session. LOL I told him we made a baby with that one! Sigh... I can only hope! Anyway, onward. I have a new, huge, complicated, boring project I should be working on right now. Might as well get started.

Happy Monday everyone!

Pre-O

I read some article once that said women tend to dress up more around O time. Our body chemistry causes us to subconsciously choose brighter, flashier colors, maybe wear more makeup, take more risks fashion-wise, etc. Apparently we want to look pretty to attract our mates.

If that's true, I must be close to O. I almost always wear the same 5 outfits to work every week, and they're pretty dudly: Pants, sweaters, ugly old flats. Blah, blah, blah. But today I got the urge to kick it up a notch! I've got on a skirt, heels, and a cute top I haven't worn in at least a year. I even swapped the ol' Chap-Stik out for some tinted lip gloss. Oh yeah. I'm putting my sex appeal out there. And it totally works. I think hubs was almost drooling as I left for work. Thanks, nature!

So, it's CD12, and I'm pretty sure I saw some EWCM last night. Nice! I'm wondering if the royal jelly is helping me out in that department. Lord knows the green tea hasn't been doing much the past 3 or 4 months. But I've been taking RJ for 6 or 7 weeks now, and last C I had a boatload of EWCM. Whatever it is, I'm grateful. It saves me money on PreSeed!

Speaking of green tea, I've pretty much stopped drinking it, at least until I run out of my hippie herbal teas (which is going to be very, very soon). I'm sorry, but there's only so much tea a girl can drink! I've been really bad about the raspberry leaf tea too, but whatever. Between the RJ, 'fertili-tea,' all my vitamins, and the Clomid, I think I'm doing pretty well! What more can the fertility gods possibly ask of me?? I'm only human!!

Okay, clearly I'm getting delirious and should probably go eat lunch. Hubs made me a sandwich! He even put a note on it. What a man :)

Oh but I wanted to ask, do you find that you tend to dress up/primp more around O time?

Hump day hodgepodge

Thanks for your comments on my OPK conundrum, ladies :) I've decided to just BD every other day and skip the pee sticks this C. I don't think my doctor told me to use them, he's not monitoring me, and since I'm not doing more than one round of Clomid anyway what difference does it make? I'd much rather keep this C as mellow as possible. But I did put on my "Baby dust fairy" temporary tattoo that came with my last order of PreSeed. Yep, I think I have the magic now for sure! LOL

This Sunday marks the beginning of the wedding madness, with my friends A&R's non-engagement/engagement potluck in the park, and I'm excited! Not just for the party, but also because the weather is supposed to be beautiful and I get to spend the day outside, not doing yard work! The couple doesn't want anything wedding-y or engagement-esque; they want it as casual as possible, and it will be. But I did find some fun ideas for "centerpieces" to jazz it up a little. I think I'm going to get some brightly-colored bottled sodas and put them in little pots/pails/tubs on the picnic tables. Cute AND functional, dontcha think?

There's not much else going on with me right now. Hubs and I are trying to cut back our spending to help ease the costs of acupuncture (and I still need to call that 4th place back!), so we committed to bringing lunches to work every day. I am generally pretty cheap when I buy lunch, but I'm still probably saving around $20 a week. If hubs keeps up on it too that will pay for 60-70% of my acupuncture treatments if I go weekly. Not too shabby! Plus, I'm sure it's much better for me than eating fast food every day! I'm even looking forward to the peanut butter and honey sandwich I threw together this morning. I know, my lunch is fit for a 3rd grader, but I don't care!

Happy Hump Day - only two more days of waking up early before the weekend!

I'm grumpy

Stupid neck. It hurts again. I'm heading back to the chiro after work tonight. Gotta love it!

Well I think I'm done researching acupuncturists. I've been in contact with 4 places. The really fancy one I linked to before isn't the most expensive, but it is expensive. Surprisingly, the most expensive one took the longest to call me back, called me on a cell phone while driving in her car and I could hardly understand what she was saying, and I just wasn't very impressed. I have to return one call (TODAY! I totally forgot to yesterday) and then I can make a decision on which one I will be frequenting. Oh yeah, we also have to look at the budget to see where we're going to be cutting back. --Insert bitter comment here about the cost of conceiving a child --

I'm officially done with Clomid, and I really want to take E's advice and just BD every other day rather than hassle with (and stress over) OPKs... but on the other hand I want to see whether I get a strong + this C due to the Clomid. That is sort of important to know, since it's my first (though possibly only) time using it, right? Please say no, then I can just skip the OPKs without any guilt!!

Time for this day to move a little faster. I can't wait to get my neck adjusted and mobile again.

Just babbling

I take my last Clomid pill today, it's CD9. I haven't really had any side effects thus far, maybe just a little moodiness. Not too much worse than usual though ;) I'm still taking my Fertilitea and Positivitea, as I've named my two hippie teas. Yes, they have actual names but my names help me keep them straight. Who's going to remember what "Synergy" and "Festival Blend" mean? (Okay, I probably could, but where's the fun in that?)

Hubs and I had a great weekend together. We mapped out part of our vision for the back yard and bought some supplies to get started, then spent half the day Sunday digging and weeding out what will be our planters. We went for a bike ride, hung out with friends, and hung out with each other. It was fun, productive, and active. And for the first time in a while, TTC and IF weren't the #1 things on my mind every minute of the day. Maybe more like the #2 or #3 things, and maybe for only 30% of the time, but still. I think that's progress.

It was nice feeling like I could get to a place where I can let go a little. Since hubs and I are coming up on the BD part of the month, I need to get started with the OPKs soon. I don't really want to use them because they stress me out, and I've been enjoying my less-stressed attitude! But I feel like I should since I'm on Clomid. Maybe I'll just do it and make hubs check the results every day. Think that'll work? Works for me... :)

Moving Forward

I'm feeling pretty optimistic today. Could it be the tea? ;)

More likely it's because I feel like I'm finally making some progress. I start Clomid tonight and I've been trying to let myself think positively about it. I wasn't joking about the visualization thing yesterday - my friend Katherine has been trying it lately (for other reasons of course) and suggested it to me. I figured why not? I'm not getting overly hopeful because I know the chances aren't great that the Clomid will even work, and it's only a one-time thing for now. But it's about time I let myself be a little excited about something TTC-related. It's been such an enormous weight for so long, I can't remember the last time I thought, "Maybe it really will happen soon."

But wait, there's more!

I asked hubs last night if I could get acupuncture/TCM now and just put it on a credit card, and to my great surprise, he agreed! Ideally we wanted to wait until after we paid our taxes, and I'm not thrilled with the idea of financing it... But we've put very little money into TTC thus far and I really feel like I need to try something. Soon. I'm going to shop around and try to find the best deal, so I don't think it will end up being terribly expensive. I'm really tempted to go to this place right around the corner from my work, which boasts the highest pregnancy rates in the area, but it looks pricey so I'll have to find out about their fees first.

So yep, that's where I'm at today. It helps that it's Thursday too, which is my second favorite day of the week (my favorite being Friday right when I get off work of course), and it's also bowling night tonight! Dare I say, it's a good day. :)

Hope yours is going well too!

Hippiefication

So... Yeah. I give up. I think I'm turning into a hippie.

It was bound to happen, living in southern CA my entire life. I tried to fight it, I shun Birkenstocks, patchuli, and hair beads. I shave my armpits, brush my hair, and bathe every day. Where did I go wrong?

I'm pretty sure the infertility did it to me. If I could pop out kids at will I'd never have thought twice about my horrible eating habits. I'd be able to eat fast food, guzzle coffee, and skip vitamins guilt-free! But now I'm buying all organic meats and produce, whole-grain breads, and trying every supplement known to man. Even my tea is organic! I have 4 different kinds sitting in my desk drawer right this very minute, and 3 are herbal.

And it's getting worse. I read that replacing most meats with plant protein improves fertility, so I keep thinking how I can incorporate soy, nuts, and beans into my diet and cut back on meat. Hard to do when I eat fast food for lunch almost every day. I wonder stuff like, "is a bean burrito from T.aco Be.ll better for me than a cold-cut sandwich from Su.bway?"

Worse yet, I am starting to buy into this whole "positive attitude is good for you" nonsense. I tell myself I should meditate, do yoga, practice visualizing the outcome I want to happen, and try not to worry about the future... And dang it but there are actually STUDIES that back it up!!

It won't be much longer before I'm eating nothing but granola and running around with the Hari Krishnas. Yep. I think I'm a goner!

Just call me Harmony Sunshine Windtree.

Happy for them...

It's a good thing I brought my "optimism" tea today. (By the way, I was wrong, the "synergy" tea is the peppermint/licorice one, the optimism one is more earthy and floral. It's really tasty though.)

My older brother texted me last night, but I missed it because I was making dinner. I just got the text this morning. It says that he and his wife are expecting baby #2 in October.

I really am happy for them. I know they wanted two kids and I was as prepared as I could have been to get the news sooner or later. And I'm really grateful that he told me via text and not a big announcement at a family gathering or something.

But you know how it is, I'm sad for me. And I don't think this optimism tea is helping. I think I'll get a second cup...

Hope in a bag

I wanted to tell you this story but it was too long to include in my last post.

One of the girls in my carpool up to the central coast, A, "probably" has PCOS. (She and her hubby haven't officially started trying yet, but since going off BCPs several months ago A has had nary a visit from AF, so she's already seeing an RE.) We got to talking on the ride up and turns out she knows a lady who owns a little herb shop in the town we were staying in. She was planning to pay her a visit and invited me to come along. Once we got to the hotel we borrowed our friend's car and headed downtown to locate said shop, of course in the hopes of finding the miracle cure to all our problems!

The shop was hard to find. A and I walked down the main drag and then had to go through a little corridor of shops off the street, then through a courtyard that ran behind all the shops, parallel to the main street. I am amazed we even found it. It wasn't a "shop" so much as a sort of long outdoor stall with a wall of shelves containing jars and jars and jars of herbs, teas and tinctures. The owner wasn't there, but there was a hippie girl running the cash register. She was busy with a customer, so A and I perused the shelves, looking for something that might work. They had a few teas specific to TTC, and A found something called "bring on the moon," which was perfect for her. I ended up settling for a "synergy blend" that's supposed to help regulate hormones. Unfortunately they didn't have the magic cure for unexplained IF, though why I was expecting a cure for my mystery ailment is beyond me anyway.

As the hippie girl started ringing us up we got to talking, and at some point I said something characteristically pessimistic about not expecting any of this to actually work. She looked at me and said if I keep thinking it will never happen then it won't. So I asked, half-joking, if she had anything for optimism. To my surprise, she turned back to the wall of jars, picked one off a shelf, opened it and let me take a whiff. YUM! Peppermint and licorice and all kinds of wonderfulness. It was called "festival blend" and the hippie chick told me she feels great whenever she drinks it. So I bought some of that as well (after asking her to make sure none of the ingredients interacted badly with those in the other tea, which she kindly did). Just thinking about the smell of it makes me perk up a bit!

A and I walked out of the herb shop feeling pretty good. And in about ten steps, we found ourselves walking literally right through the middle a huge circle of about 15 or so visibly pregnant moms in exercise gear, some with toddlers in jogging strollers. They were obviously meeting up for some prenatal exercise class. A and I just looked at each other and burst out laughing and couldn't stop! Seriously, I think any other time I would have been fighting back the tears, but somehow it was the funniest thing ever to both of us. The moms probably thought we were crazy as we giggled nonstop until they were out of sight.

It's hard not to take all that as some kind of "sign." In some ways I wish I still thought that way, but I don't. I'm just glad I could laugh at that moment.

I'll let you know how the teas work out for me. And I will try to be optimistic about it!

Debauchery

This weekend was really fun.

And I am really exhausted.

I'm such a terrible storyteller, and I am so tired, that I'm not sure I can convey the craziness and fun of this bachelorette party. But here are some key points:

1. I (along with almost everyone else - about 20 girls) drank too much on Friday night even though I promised myself I wouldn't. But there were shots. SHOTS! You have to do shots at a bachelorette party!

2. There were a couple instances of girls sprawled out on floor of the hotel hallways. And one instance of a lacrosse player on our floor having to carry a girl to her room. Neither occasion involved me, in case you were wondering. ;)

3. There was one instance of hotel security being called on some members of our party. I guess they got a little rowdy coming back from the bars! The bride and another girl attempted to hide from them in the maid's closet and were quite easily found.

4. I slept a total of 4 hours Friday night and woke up feeling 100% wretched. I had to rally because Saturday was wine tasting day. Did "hair of the dog" for the first time in my life and it really works! But I don't want to ever have to do it again!

5. Wine tasting was great! We visited 4 wineries and I joined one club. The last winery had a bunch of wigs and hats to play with while we tasted. Unfortunately the limo with karaoke was out of commission so we had to make due with singing along to CD's. But our limo was still pretty freakin' awesome, and bigger than the one they'd originally booked. (It was one of those SUV ones.)

6. I really got out of my shell and had a great time! Even though I roomed with BOTH of the pg ladies. Yep, there were 2. But it worked out because I went to bed early on Saturday night and I am 100% sure I was in the quietest room. And although one of them got pg the first month of trying, the other had struggled with IF, so I didn't take it too hard.

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately after the debauchery I participated in this weekend, AF showed up a day early yesterday, and with a vengeance! I am going to have to pay more attention to my C's as a whole. I didn't appear to have Oed this C, but had a ton of EWCM, and now AF is kicking my butt. I wonder what's up with that?

Now to power through the rest of this day... or at least try to stay awake for the next 5 hours...

Ants in my pants

In about one hour, my weekend will have arrived! Provided no crazy issues pop up between now and then...

Why do I get a three day weekend, you ask? Because I'm leaving tomorrow for my friend S's bachelorette weekend wine tasting extravaganza! S is the fiancee of one of hubs's friends, so there are going to be a lot of ladies there from that group. Which means there's a bit of a nervous tinge to my excitement. I do consider those ladies to be my friends too, but I'm not particularly close with any of them. We get together as a group about once a month for girls' night, but I don't call them up to chat or go shopping with them or anything like that. BUT!! In my effort to become a more outgoing, friendly person, I am determined to push my shyness aside and have a GREAT time this weekend!

Hmm... not much else to say at the moment. I'm all wound up so I can't even be clever, how sad is that? I'm just sitting here all antsy, checking the clock every 2 minutes and waiting for it to be 4:30 already!

Have a great weekend!

Floating along...

I love me a short work week for one obvious reason - one less day of work! What I don't love about it is that somehow the universe seems to know that I'm only here four days this week, and therefore it must throw everything at me all at once!

So I'm taking myself a little pre-lunch blog break. The universe can just wait one gosh darn minute whilst I collect my thoughts, and then trasmit them to the interweb.

I've been kinda crampy for the past few days. Today is CD23, AF is due on Monday. Sadly, it's not unusual for me to be crampy several days before AF shows up, nor is it unusual for my boobs to hurt the way they do right now. Nor for me to snap at the hubs like I did last night about something really small, starting a fight before going to my brother and SIL's for game night. I take all this to mean that in about 5 days I'll be faced with another BFN.

Of course, that doesn't stop me from trying to send hints to my uterus and its contents. I rub my belly at night and think, "No pressure! But if a sperm and egg happened to have met up in the past few days, it would be great if you guys would go ahead an implant yourself in my nice warm uterus for a while! Kay, thanks!"

At one point, I had a doctor tell me that I am an "enigma." Well, last night hubs and I had this conversation after our fight:

Me: Sorry I'm so moody. I'm sure it's PMS, I've been crampy for days too. *Sigh* This sucks! (then a tiny glimmering moment of hope) But I guess you never know...
Hubs: That's true, you are an enigma.
Me: Yes - an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, inside of an Easter egg...
Hubs: Hidden by an old guy with Alzheimers.
Me: I suppose there's a slim chance the guy with Alzheimers will have a split second of clarity when he remembers where he hid that Easter egg. And the odds of that happening are the same as my odds of getting pregnant.

March (and April, May, June, July & August) Madness

As you're aware (or at least, as I've mentioned before, since it would be rather presumptuous of me to expect you to remember every minute detail that I post about my life), I'm a bridesmaid in 2 upcoming weddings, both of which are in August, 2 weeks apart.

In case you didn't know, that means both of these weddings are a mere 5 months away.

It's funny, when one is asked to be a bridesmaid in one wedding, one realizes that there are certain obligations that go along with the honor - the dress, the hair, the parties, the gifts - and all of these obligations require preparation, planning and of course, money. But when one is asked, one thinks of all of these things as taking place in the fuzzy, abstract future. And one is apt to think one will have plenty of time to "save up" for these expenses.

When one is asked to be a bridesmaid in a second wedding, one is so excited that one was asked once again (should I knock it off with the "ones" now? Gotcha, will do) - Ahem - I was (and still am) so excited and honored to be asked, that, although I did realize my expenditures will now be doubled, as will the fullness of my schedule in the coming months, I was willing, even eager, to overlook the obvious stress that being in two weddings, two weeks apart, will doubtless create.

Well, the madness has officially begun and the blinders are OFF. Of course I'm still just as happy to be a part of both weddings, only now I'm a bit stressed too. (Did I mention that between now and August we're also invited to three other weddings and a Bat Mitzvah? Or that almost every member of my local family, including myself, will be celebrating birthdays too?) I'm going to have to get myself a planner because I have a feeling the next few months are going to be pure, uncut Colombian insanity, and with my shoddy memory I'm likely to forget to attend a bridal shower or rehearsal dinner or to wish my husband a happy anniversary or something.

In fact, I think I might just pick one up on my lunch break. And right after that I'll be using office hours to find a very inexpensive location to host an engagement party in 3 weeks... That's totally doable, right??

My mother and sleepless nights

I'm feeling a little down in the dumps today. Last night at dinner with my family, my sister tells me that at 38 she was the youngest person she knew to start perimenopause (she's 40 now). Then my mom chimes in that, nope, my sister wasn't alone! She, too, started perimenopause at 38.

My mom does this. She unwittingly withholds family medical history that is/could be relevant to her children's lives (read: MY LIFE!) until it randomly comes up in a conversation. And it drives me banana freaking sandwich.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but if the fertiles in my immediate family started perimenopause young, I don't stand a chance of conceiving past my mid-thirties. Maybe hubs and I are being stupid for trying to pay off debt and save up money before seeing an RE. Maybe we should just be racking up MORE debt, because paying it back doesn't depend on the state of my eggs!!

Ugh. My mood is worsened by the fact that hubs caught my cold and has been sawing logs all night for the past few nights. I'm not a heavy sleeper. I wake up every time the snoring starts. And it doesn't matter whether he's on his back, stomach or side, he's snoring. Hopefully I can get to bed early tonight and at least get a few hours in before he drifts into that magical deep snoring slumber... Or better yet, his cold will clear up today and he'll be able to breathe normally! I've hoped for far sillier things, like getting pregnant naturally... every month for the past two years...

Time to trudge through Monday. One good thing - I have leftovers from last night's dinner for lunch today - Greek Spaghetti. I'll have to get the recipe for you ladies because it is nothing short of divine.

Friday mash-up

As much as I'm a tad annoyed that I never saw a truly positive OPK this C, I'm equally relieved that I at least got a definite negative last night. I just wanted it to be different than the previous three! We've been DTD every day since Sunday. I am tired. My mysterious lady parts are tired. And I am taking tonight OFF.

And how am I going to spend tonight, you ask? (You did, I heard you.) I'm going to curl up on the couch with hubs, Atticus, and a big bowl of popcorn, and watch the original TRON! Oh man, I'm a little giddy just thinking about it! Oops, is my inner nerd showing?? (Who am I kidding - I'm all nerd!)

Hubs also requested that I make homemade mac and cheese for dinner tonight. Help! I've only made it once before and it was a tad bland. Does anyone have an amazing recipe that will knock his socks off?

Speaking of dishes that knock off socks, last night hubs made a simply scrumptious shrimp risotto. He used this recipe, with asparagus and mushrooms. I love it when he makes risotto, but this was even better than usual. I highly recommend it if you're into that sort of thing, and seriously, who isn't into shrimp risotto?

I'm a little all over the place today, if you couldn't tell. Probably because I'm just so darn excited that it's FRIDAY! Finally! My boss is out today so maybe I'll let my minions head home early (which means I get to leave early too). Yeah it's a cheap trick to be well-liked (and get to go home early), but whatever. So I'm cheap! I can deal with that.

Drumming my fingers...

Did I get a + OPK last night you ask? Why, no. No I did not. I'm still getting almost positives, but they seem like they've all been the same shade for the past 3 days. I'll keep testing but I'm starting to get annoyed!! You see, this is why I don't temp, even OPKs drive me batty and I usually only use them a few days out of the month!

^J^ to answer your question, I am taking B vitamins because I think my LP is on the short side, and B6 is supposed to help lengthen it. Plus I get the added bonus of the B complex helping reduce my anxiety. You can see how well THAT'S working out, though... ;)

Something wacky is going on with my guts the past few months. I'm really hoping it's just my crappy diet finally catching up with me, but I'm a tiny bit concerned it could be related to my lap. At least twice since the lap (in Dec) I've gotten this stabbing pain throughout my lower abdomen/pelvic region, front and back (but it seemed to radiate from my, er... lower digestive tract, to put it delicately). It happened going home from work last night and it about killed me; sitting down was the worst, which was really inconvenient seeing as I was driving. Thankfully it pretty much went away after half an hour or so, then this morning there was some... um... unpleasantness which may have been related. It's just very strange. I'm going to keep track of what I've been eating and what time of the month it is when it happens from now on.

Hey! It's Thursday! Only one more day of waking up before dawn until the weekend...

Oversexed and underpaid

Wait. Maybe that came out wrong. To clarify, I am not getting paid for sex.

My lower back is just freaking KILLING me lately and I'm thinking it may be because (prepare yourself for TMI) of the way hubs and I BD. We refer to it as "lazy style." Maybe we should switch it up more often because something is clearly not agreeing with my sacroiliac. Seriously, as if we IFers don't have enough problems, I can't even have sex without creating issues!

In related news, I'm still waiting to O... although the EWCM is long gone. Good thing my PreSeed came in the mail the other day! Today is CD16, and yesterday's OPK was almost positive, so hopefully I'll get that + today. I'm really glad I started taking the B6 cuz if I do get a + tonight, that means O tomorrow-ish, which = 11 day LP. Hopefully the vitamins will help, I'll definitely be keeping track of that this month.

It's been kinda crazy at work this week, as the beginning of the month usually is! Then there's this whole "efficiency" movement here that has 3/4 of my underlings worrying that they're going to lose their jobs. They aren't, but how do you convey that to nervous people in this economy?

Hubs had his second (and final, I think) interview with his #1 choice for new employment this morning, and he said he thinks it went pretty well. Please keep your fingers crossed for him that he gets this job!! They said they'll get back to him by the end of the week. :)

Have a great night, all! Only 2 more days until the weekend! Whew!

Stupid OPKs and my stupid brain

After Sunday's OPK, I really thought yesterday I'd get a big ol' positive, but NOPE. It was about the same as Sunday, although maybe showing up a little slower. Oy. It seems unlikely that I would have gone from a blaring negative on Friday to a definite positive on Saturday (when I forgot to POAS) but now I'm stressing that I might have missed it. BUT! What can I do? We DTD on Sunday and last night regardless, and I guess I'll just have to wait and see what today throws at me. Don't you just love this TTC game???

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Not too long ago I took some quiz on FB called something like, "are you right-brained or left-brained?" My results were exactly 50/50, and one of the things the explanation of my results said was that I probably have a hard time making decisions because I tend to consider all sides of my choices equally. And okay, I know a FB quiz isn't very likely to give me insight into the depths of my soul or anything, but in this case I think there was a lot of truth to it. For one, yes, my entire life I've had a hard time making decisions, even seemingly simple ones - like, what should I make for dinner tonight? Ridiculous, right?

Well, maybe it's ridiculous but it causes me a TON of stress that I can't make up my mind about stuff. For example, I managed to decide, after a couple weeks of thinking about it, that I wouldn't attend hubs's cousin's bridal shower this Saturday. Hubs was gone most of last week, and I'm going to be gone all next weekend, so I wanted to spend this Saturday and Sunday with him. Okay good, problem solved! But then last night my brother texts me and says it's my grandma's birthday on Saturday and did I want to drive the 3 hours with him and my 18 month old niece to go visit her? D'oh! Yes, of course I want to see my grams, but hubs can't come along because he's working until 1:30, and if I go we won't be home until 9:00 so I wouldn't be able to spend ANY time with him that day. On the other hand, I feel guilty that I haven't seen my grandma since her birthday last year. On the THIRD hand (yeah, welcome to my brain), my cousins will be there with their 1 year old baby too and, well, you know how that is.

Guilt is a major source of my stress and anxiety, and I feel guilty about EVERYTHING. So I can't decide which is the right vs. wrong choice. I woke up feeling totally anxious, my mind was racing as I got ready for work, and I started crying when I talked to hubs (or rather TRIED to, as spoken words don't come to me nearly as easily as written) about everything that was going through my head. It's overwhelming and I don't know how to make it stop! Thank goodness I still have my Rx for Xa.nax. I am leaning towards not going, but I just wish I could have some peace with that decision.

Sorry, I know this is all so lame. How about I get a REAL problem or something? ;) I just had to let it out!

Weekend update

First off, all my worrying about Oing early was for nothing, and if the bagger with the eggs was a sign it wasn't the sign I was thinking. I took 2 OPKs when I got home on Friday night and both were VERY negative. Whew!! I forgot to take one on Saturday, but yesterday I had an almost positive, so I think I'll be Oing in the next couple of days. What a relief! I don't know exactly what gave me all that EWCM, but I'm definitely going to be really good about taking all my vitamins from now on, and hopefully I'll keep getting it :)

Friday night girls' night was a success! I managed to cram 9 ladies into my little living room where we chatted and played J.ust Da.nce and Mar.io K.art on the Wii. Oh my gosh - J.ust Da.nce ROCKS! It was a huge hit and a couple of my friends took pictures and videos, so as soon as I get those I will definitely be posting them. I suck at dancing (zero coordination), but I guess I got my arms to move right because I kicked butt! Only my friend A (the one who was my MOH) spent the night and we stayed up chatting until about 4:00 a.m. It was great, it totally took me back to our college days. Except now I can't function on 5 hours of sleep the way I could back then...

I was so exhausted on Saturday I ended up taking a nap after A went home... and slept until almost 2:00! Afterwards I met up with my friend B and we went to a benefit event that hubs' uncle was putting on. He is co-chair/spokesperson for the brand-new local chapter of the Best Day Foundation. Uncle C teaches special needs kids how to surf. It's pretty amazing that he makes it possible for kids with ANY kind of special needs - blind, deaf, autistic, those with cancer, physical or mental disabilities, whatever - to surf! After the benefit, B and I had dinner with her parents, who are like my second parents and I haven't seen in forever, and that was really nice.

Sunday I picked hubs up from the airport in L.A. at noon. Amazingly, not only did I get there a little early AND his flight was a few minutes early, but I got parking right in front of his gate, we were out of there in like 5 minutes, and there was virtually no traffic. We spent the rest of the day relaxing and BDing. :) Good times!

Unfortunately the good times ended all too soon, and here we are again at Monday. Sigh... It's not a terrible day, just busy with reports and all the other stuff I need to get caught up on before Wednesday. But I always make time for my bloggy ladies!

Hope you're all having a great day!